PODCAST. ADHD Life Coaching and Positive Intelligence with Cindy North.
In this episode of the Wise Squirrels podcast for late-diagnosed adults with ADHD, we dive deep into the world of ADHD and coaching with Cindy North from EmpowerM3. Cindy, an ADHD life coach, shares her insights into managing ADHD, breaking down misconceptions, and utilizing strategies for success. Cindy is an ACC Certified Life Coach with the ICF, a Certified ADHD Life Coach (CALC), and a trained PQ Coach member with Positive Intelligence devoted to partnering with clients to create self-success within ADHD and living life.
Episode Highlights:
Understanding ADHD: Cindy provides a comprehensive overview of ADHD, explaining its characteristics, challenges, and the way it impacts individuals in their daily lives. She discusses the importance of proper diagnosis and the variations in how ADHD presents in different people.
Personal Experience and Diagnosis: Cindy opens up about her personal journey with ADHD, detailing her experiences with her family. She sheds light on the relief that comes with understanding oneself and finding effective strategies to manage ADHD-related difficulties.
Managing ADHD in Daily Life: The conversation delves into practical strategies for managing ADHD symptoms. Cindy emphasizes the significance of routines, time awareness, and breaking tasks into smaller steps. She mentions the Pomodoro Technique and shares tips for making tasks easier and more manageable.
Positive Intelligence Program: Cindy discusses the Positive Intelligence Program, which aims to enhance mental fitness and cultivate a positive mindset. She explains how this program can help Wise Squirrels rewire our thinking patterns, overcome negative thoughts, and tap into our strengths.
Overcoming Impostor Syndrome: Cindy and Dave discuss how ADHD individuals often grapple with impostor syndrome and self-doubt. They explore ways to navigate these feelings and cultivate a positive self-image, emphasizing the importance of community and support.
The Power of Animals and Nature: Cindy shares her connection with animals, discussing their positive impact on mental well-being. She explains how interacting with animals and spending time in nature can provide a grounding and calming effect, especially for individuals with ADHD.
Self-Care and Flexibility: The conversation touches on the significance of self-care for individuals with ADHD. Cindy stresses the importance of recognizing personal needs, embracing flexibility, and letting go of shame. She encourages a curiosity-driven approach to finding the best strategies for each individual.
This enlightening interview with Cindy North from EmpowerM3 offers valuable insights into the world of ADHD. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of ADHD, practical strategies for managing its challenges, and the power of rewiring thought patterns for a more positive mindset. Cindy's expertise and personal experiences provide a relatable and empowering perspective for Wise Squirrels navigating life with ADHD.
Contact Cindy at empowerm3.com.
Disclaimer: This episode provides general information and does not substitute for professional advice. Consult a qualified healthcare professional for personalized guidance.
Leave us an audio comment or question for an upcoming episode of our ADHD podcast for late-diagnosed adults.
-
0:00
First of all, I'm excited to speak with you because you know, obviously the the goal of this podcast is to help you know other late diagnosed adults with ADHD. So Cindy, tell me a little bit about your, your practice your business with empower and three.
0:16
So thanks, Dave, so much for having me on the podcast, why squirrels, I love the work that you're doing here to help bring this community together. So my business is called empower me, it's where I bring three, the three things together your head heart, and with the coach partner to help you get where you want to go. I help ADHD errs, that as early as two teams, college students on up recently, business professionals just really looking to move their symptoms towards strategies that that can work for them. A lot of times, there's that stigma behind that, especially those who are late diagnosed of, you know, how how their brain works differently. And I really try hard to help my clients, you know, utilize their, you know, their best strengths to shore up the struggles they might be having just moved from that chaos way of living towards more freedom, ease and flow pairings and positive intelligence work that I do, just with my, you know, continued desire to understand ADHD and what it does to this community and how to serve them. So it's been an absolute pleasure becoming a coach and working with such amazing people. And I want them to feel amazing. So a lot of them don't come to me feeling that way. But hopefully, by the time they've, they've gone through the process of coaching, they have been able to kind of attain that for themselves been an absolute joy,
1:46
how long have you been coaching now,
1:48
I've been coaching for three years, and got certified to the ICF. And with my ACC and then recently through Positive Intelligence, I really believe in having that certification background and showing, you know, how I believe in ethics and, and the standards of coaching and really wanting to provide expertise for my clients. And you know, three years isn't that long, but each client that I'm working with is teaching me more. And hopefully, they're learning more in such a great collaboration and partnership. And I look forward to doing it for many, many years to come.
2:23
And your 13 and 17 year olds, both were diagnosed with ADHD, right? Correct. Was it was this what kind of got set you along the along the path to doing this? Tell me about that.
2:36
Absolutely. I had, you know, jumped through all the hoops, you know, starting with like nutrition and diet changes, trying to find out if that could help, you know, CBT So cognitive behavioral therapy, we did family therapy, we did you know, OT, I jumped through all the hoops before medication as a mom being feeling so responsible for the choices I made for my kids, because they were young at the time. You know, I knew things were different from the first grade teacher telling me but didn't get diagnosis until flat, you know, fifth grade. So it took a long time for my son. And then for my daughter, I was very aware of what was going on. But it's still the process of getting diagnosis and with getting into professionals, and everybody on board still took you know, two and a half years for her. It was that that then led me to coaching like I needed something else. And so I started parent coaching. And then the parent coach said, hey, you know, there I I don't typically work with, you know, children this young, but I'm willing to do it with you, because I can see how invested you are and what you know. And so we started that. And then she's like, Well, why are you not coaching, and you should become a coach. And I never thought about it. I had worked with kids and and worked with ADHD population prior to this. And so it just became the gloves of that fit. And it happened very quickly. And I absolutely with the journey, you know, it just happened.
4:07
It's such an interesting thing, too. Like a lot of a lot of coaches, I've spoken to have mentioned that. I've talked about how Yeah, it was it was either other coaches or therapists or people that they were seeing who recommended they try. They become a coach, which is interesting. I love how supportive that is. So from a parenting coach kind of led you on this path in a way.
4:32
Yeah, I mean, and I don't I wouldn't have known about it. I wanted I didn't know about it. It took me forever to even find out that there was coaching. I still have clients today that will say I just learned about coaching. I think it's becoming a lot more prevalent. But when I you know even five years ago when I was starting to dive into it, I did not know about ADHD life coaching. It was not something I probably would have tried this way earlier as a parent like so I could have had the support. Had I known that I could have had that partnership because I needed it back then And then when the coach I said, Hey, you know, recognize that it's such an affirmation to have somebody else do something and you, and then you go on to do it. So it definitely was that spark that lit a serious fire in me.
5:12
Yeah. And I'm curious, like, of your adult adults with ADHD clients tell me a little bit about not obviously naming names, but, but as far as who they are, in the sense that like, I've been fascinated, you know, and I look, I asked these questions regarding myself here, too. But I believe I believe this statistic is that, like you were, I think it's 200 times more likely to start a business, if you have ADHD. And that, like, we look at all these different entrepreneurs, successful entrepreneurs, Richard Branson, is, is the first one that comes to mind who has been outspoken about his own diagnosis with ADHD, Oh, do you find that too, with your adult clients? Are they business owners, entrepreneurs,
5:57
they are, I mean, even the ones that are within businesses, like say they work for somebody, they still typically have something else, they're posturing, you know, some other project, that they're, they're growing, or putting in front of people that are, you know, those important people that need to see this new thing that's, you know, that they an idea that they've come up with, but absolutely, I see, that very creative mind is coming out and in my clientele that I see. And absolutely, you know, I think that's what's so fascinating is to, to help them find the skills to make that work for them. Because being an entrepreneur, you are, you're wearing a lot of hats, if you're, you know, not putting feelers out into other areas to have people doing it for you. And if you don't have some of those executive functioning skills, it can become a real challenge to get your great ideas or get your wonderful business to thrive. And, and that's where I get to come in and kind of pick away at, okay, what is getting in the way of this being, you know, really truly meeting his greatness,
7:02
and what are the some of the, those challenges that you find with, with folks, you know, maybe some common challenges that they're faced with, and some strategies to help cope with those, those challenges,
7:15
you know, I think it's for the, the struggles I see is getting the idea, like, if you've got those idea makers get an idea made and out there is not the hard part is then initiating and executing it through and making like the everyday work manageable, so that they can then move out that new business or move that idea up the pipe, so that it can be profitable for them. It's that ability to stay motivated on something when things you know, when maybe that shiny new object is not as exciting, like then planning comes in, or they gotta start putting the pieces together, you know, being organized through their thoughts, because sometimes the ideas just come in, you know, they're, they're all over the place grasping them. So it's that it's time management, it's, you know, being able to forecast and see the things that could be coming, you know, from in the future place, instead of that, like, either now or never really being able to execute on that. And, you know, not always using procrastination to ignite them, like doing the, you know, the prot, you know, getting a project put together at the very last minute because they're running on adrenaline then instead of, you know, because that's exhausting, eventually, to keep that pace. And I think that's where the, you know, individuals I work with, you know, when they come to me, they're at that exhausted place, and they're, they're completely have such ability inside, but they're, they're using it in a misfit way, that is not letting them get to their peak performance.
8:59
Are there common things that you do, like what's what's an activity or, or a tactic that you recommend they do to kind of improve their, their focus and, you know, stay on task?
9:11
So one thing you know, with coaching, it's very individual. So, you know, aside from me offering ideas and tactics or strategies, usually we're really working through what works for the individual and figuring out how their brain is, you know, managing through the day. So, we first start with what the day is like, so we've become much more aware. I think the first key element to understanding you know how to get a tactic in place is to understand what you're doing first. And so we work a lot on initially on self awareness, just becoming aware of the habits that that the individual has, you know, kind of bringing that to the to the forefront because a lot of times we just do and don't even realize like when we get stuck in an hours gone by, and we, we thought it was like 10 minutes because we're hyper focused and don't realize, um, so it's becoming, you know, so it's a lot of that of like really starting to record and recognize what we're doing. And then sometimes bringing in other key people that are in our lives like to help us to be a detective. So it's that ability to be a detective without judgment, as a huge piece of this is not to bring out the negative thinking of there I go again, or I did that, you know, getting that shame built up. It's none of that it's all in jest, what do we know now? And what do we do next? So then identifying the habits that an individual has, like, first for sleep? Do they? Are they up in the morning? Or are they sleeping in, so when are their peak brain hours really understanding that piece, so then we can start building in the tactics. And as far as like suggesting tactics, usually, that comes when they're like completely at the end of like, their ability to be creative with themselves like to know what works like sometimes I might suggest, like, for example, I had a client who was really trying to get things done. And so you know, we talked about lists, and we talked about planners, and, you know, which is all the regular go to things and ultimately, she came up with using a dry erase marker on a mirror to put the three things that she wanted to get done. And she would see it every time she went in there. And it was the the easy reminder. And I can tell you, I wouldn't have come up with that idea on my own. But I love the idea. So there. So the idea like that thought of someone's going to tell me what to do, and I'm gonna they're gonna fix me, quote, unquote, is not how my style of coaching goes, we've really become very keyed into that individual's current habits, ones that are working ones that are no longer serving them. And then kya, you know, as the conversation and coaching process goes, something like that, with the dry erase on a mirror comes to light. And in a new, you know, rejuvenated way of a list is, you know, smoking that individuals my motivation to do it, you know, because the paper wasn't working.
12:14
Yeah. So just having it, like having those three tasks of the day in front of you, you know, where you're going to see them. Exactly, is serves as a good reminder. Yeah, that's true, actually. And I found this works for me quite well as as well. Because yeah, and especially if they're not, I find a lot of like the to do type apps often don't work for me because of the distraction associated with the phone. So like, if you pick up your phone to check your to do list, suddenly, it's like, oh, there's a tweet for me, or some notification, and then you fall down the rabbit hole? Do you have any strategies associated with, with technology, and maybe avoiding distraction that way? Because I mean, these, you know, smartphones, and the apps are all designed to, you know, get designed to really hijack our attention and our time. So any thoughts on that?
13:14
Exactly. I mean, they that's what they're, I mean, that's their whole purpose is to, you know, engage us, right? So if we do not want to be engaged in that we know, first, that awareness detective piece, like, how much time are you spending on your phone, and how distracting is it. So one tactic I had a client come up with is, all of her apps are off of her front home screen that she has to slide to get to the next one, making it harder to get to the things that distract, you can help like if the, you know, not having notifications for like the new tweet, unless that's really important. Like for some people, they need to know these things. But knowing when you're going to pick that up, so I'm going to pick that up at the top of the hour. Or, you know, I'm all like that discipline. So that's another thing that like, with coaching is really working on discipline, like what is it, you know, in your life that you need to be disciplined to, or, you know, from, I guess we could say, too, but it is, you know, so one of those tactics that make it harder to get to, you know, don't have like, have to sign in so that you're not you know, because that's taking Ease of Access away from the distracting thing. So if you're just wanting to be able to do your To Do lists, that's the front and foremost thing right on the front of the phone. And the you know, everything else is kind of buried in there in a way that you can still easily get to what you have to get to. So if you don't want to be on Facebook, make it a few pages in in a tab make it a little bit harder to just not easily click on because that are as soon as our brand Sue's that we clicked it to that instance. So you got to make it a little bit harder to follow through on it like because that's a little self check. Like do I want to put my password in again?
15:00
Yeah, I remember early on, I worked in digital marketing for a lot of my career. And I remember looking at advertising on Facebook back in the day, and one of the ads you could get was a full page ad on the Logout page. And I was like, who would go to the Logout page? Nobody logs out of Facebook anymore. Like everybody's, you people are logged in all day. So yeah, logging out might be a wise move there too.
15:29
Yeah, logging out is a challenge. Like people don't want to do it because it is its absolute ease of access. So if you're trying to not do something, make it harder. If you're trying to do something, find a way to make it easier, easier, easier.
15:42
What are some other ways to make things easier for you know, for adults? Yeah, some, you know, to, yeah, some steps to make it easier.
15:53
So I think, one, it depends on what you're trying to make easier. So if you're trying to become more time aware, you know, a lot of times noise, like a chiming clock, you know, might help or, you know, building in some sort of like, they have different apps for clocks, you know, on your phone, that'll try him on the top of the hour, the bottom of the hour, whatever you might need, just to build in some sensory awareness of time. Like, the different types of clocks, digital or analog, being able to see time move is another thing that is helpful, you know, people use the Pomodoro method for getting work done. So that's like that ability to start using time to fit your needs. Planning, you know, it's actually having that ability to sit down, you know, whether it's on a Sunday or once said, you know, first thing in the morning, or if you need to think about it that day before, what is it you're going to do next? So that could be like, What am I going to do next would be for tomorrow? What do I have on my my schedule? That's really helpful for business professionals who might not have those skills built in for planning ahead for their meetings, like op ed. You know, the reminder always comes 10 minutes before and they're not ready. Building in a new reminder, I caution my clients to be mindful of the reminders that they're not training their brain to swipe left. You know, it is important that if you put a reminder in there, it is something that you're going to want and choose to let your attention be drawn to not just ignore it, because everything we do, we're really just retraining or training our brain, neural pathways, we're laying more and more of it down. So if we do something the same way, and it's not serving us, then we have to find the new way that will serve us not train our brain to keep doing it the way that's not helpful. So you know, reminders are great, but how do you use them. Same thing with alarms, if you're putting an alarm on your phone, and you just ignore it, or snooze, it's the same purpose of training your brain to not pay attention to that. So I caution, anyone who's trying new techniques, just let them be playful. Let it be an experiential learning thing. I get that work to know that dentists one thing here worked. And then to bring some other you know, it's like the mirror with a dry erase, you know, bringing two things, it's instead of the whiteboard, it was the dry erase board. My whiteboard is on my door going out to the garage. I see it every time I walk out there. And I know what's in you know, like, I have to catch my memory. I just I externalize it.
18:42
Yeah, that's wise. That's really wise. Would the you mentioned in there the Pomodoro method? And for listeners not familiar, can you explain what that is?
18:52
Sure. So I mean, there's different philosophies on the timeframe. But it is basically pick a chunk of time that you're going to work, and then pick a chunk of time that you're going to rest or take a break. When I use this method and help my clients learn about how to implement it in their life. I'm I caution to not go more than 30 minutes, because that's about what the brain attention can, you know, is healthy for the brain to stay focused on something and then to take a five to 10 minute break, but not to just be distracted by something else not to you know, go to the your phone, because that is not actually giving yourself brain recharging. I have you know, I teach my clients through the Positive Intelligence Program, how to really use presence to get back into their body, how to use their senses to just notice what's around them to build a tension. So when there's a tension deficit, we want to build a tension. Well, how do we build a tension it's by learning how to listen to our body, our body is full of stimuli In the taking and so much we often don't pay attention to. So that 10 minutes is really to recharge the brain and then get back to work again. So there's a lot on the internet about the tech, you know, different techniques, and how to go about it. But it's basically you know, you can get up, move around for 10 minutes, or whatever your timeframe is. And then you set it, then you're right back at it, you get right back into what you were doing.
20:24
Yeah, I've been meaning to try that for a long time. I've done different methods, but I like the idea. And I just haven't bought it. But the the Pomodoro method actually comes from like, I believe that's Italian for tomato, right? And it comes from like a tomato timer. I could be making that up. And I apologize to our Italian listeners. I might have completely just butchered that. But
20:49
I'm gonna totally look it up, because I'm not sure myself and I'm intrigued. Pomodoro
20:52
Yeah, I thought I thought it was tomato. But yeah, there is like a red tomato timer that you can buy. And, and that has this. And there's other like alarms you can buy that actually have these presets kind of created for this specific reason. Yeah, I have a friend of mine, actually, who I wish I did this when I wrote my book. And I will probably do it. In fact, I will do it when I write my next book, which is she and like two other author friends. So like three authors would have a zoom call together. And, and following the Pomodoro method, they would spend like, I think it was 20 or maybe 30 minutes writing, and then five minute breaks to talk. And so but they were on camera with one another holding each other accountable. So it was like, Okay, shut up. We can't talk work, right. So you know, they would go off, they'd still be on camera, but they'd be you know, hammering their keyboard or researching or whatever. And then after writing, after the timer went off, they would like reconvene and share and just, you know, kind of talk about whatever. And then after that five minute break, get back to it. So yeah, and this is not I don't know if any of them have ADHD or not. But I thought that was a pretty interesting idea.
22:20
No, that's a great one. In fact, I know, think there's a coach who uses this in her coaching where she will for decluttering or for getting your your home organized or cleaned up, form a group of whomever it is you sign in, he does in like your clinic clean for a period of time, you're going going to declutter for a period of time, and then everybody's gonna chat for five minutes to get the break. And then everybody's gonna go off to do their thing. It's that accountability, it's holding accountability for each other, because you're all doing like minded things. And you're all accomplishing something. And it really, it, it really does work. It's a beautiful way of bringing technology and, and accomplishing a common good. And I love that you shared about the authors, you know, because writing a book on your own can be very challenging.
23:07
Oh, trust me, I know. Oh, my gosh, like to talk like, yeah, it's incredible. Because I mean, I did write the book, my first book before I was diagnosed with ADHD and, and, or medicated or anything. So I, it's a miracle that I actually pulled it off somehow. And it got good reviews. So
23:30
yeah, awesome. I mean, and that's what they like. So that's the thing, you can accomplish things like write the book, and it was hard. And then now that you know more about yourself, and you have hopefully more strategies that work for you that when you write your second book, and future books, you'll have new tools, you won't have to fight the process so hard. And that's what, that's why ADHD life coaching is great is because you're working really hard to gather to make life easier to do all those things that you want to do. So you're not having to make it, you know, this horrible, hard thing to create something that ended up being, you know, wonderful for the community. I mean, getting good reviews, it's serving other people. That's a great thing. The next will do it, and you'll have hopefully a little bit more ease and flow in the process.
24:19
Yeah, yeah. And you've mentioned the Positive Intelligence Program. And I know, you know a little bit about how, you know, it's really designed to enhance mental fitness and it cultivates a positive mindset. And, and to sort of overcome those negative thoughts, which I know is are especially prevalent in folks with ADHD. And I'm the first to admit to that, and as I mentioned, like when I was writing my book, new business networking, I was going through like all this self doubt and impostor syndrome and all this, and I reached out to other author friends, and they were all they all agree like this as part of the process of writing a book, you're gonna go through self doubt, and, and all this and impostor syndrome. But of course, that that can be like, you know, up to 11 for folks with ADHD, and it certainly was that high for me. So, tell it tell us a little bit about the Positive Intelligence Program and how it works, you know, and how it can benefit folks.
25:23
Sure. So the Positive Intelligence Program was developed by Shirzad, Amin, and has grown immensely since you know, he founded it, it is basically a mental fitness app that I guide my clients through. So you can use it on your phone or your desktop, your computer, and it's a seven week, initial boot camp, so to speak, of identifying the nine saboteur thinking habits we all have, along with our judge of ourselves, circumstances and others, and really understanding where are these, you know, habits of thinking, they're all you know, these characters, so to speak, you know, like an avoider or a restless, or the police or hyper achiever, there's nine of them, and where are they started in our childhood to help us stay safe, you know, our brains are wired, you know, fear wire, if we, you know, that fight, flight freeze, is, you know, instinctive, and strong. And that all comes from surviving, the ADHD brain wants to survive, you know, is that, you know, shiny new thing, you know, or really trying to make sure that you're not just basing life through fear action, like, you know, am I doing this out of fear? Am I avoiding writing the book or publishing the book out of fear. So identifying how those saboteurs act in our life and what is, you know, at our highest level, usually, you know, you're judged, and your top two, show up pretty consistently, they're the habits that you formed as a child to survive. And they're really your, you know, your greatest strength just used in overdrive, you know, like, they're, they're not serving you at their best. So through mental fitness, which is really getting into your awareness of your body, understanding and in recognizing your, your, the sensations, sensations that you're feeling, shifting where the brain is firing, that's what's happening. So when you're thinking about the negative side, and all your Saboteurs are showing up, that's a different area of your brain that's firing. So when you start getting into your body, and noticing senses and hear, you know, what do you hear? What are you smelling, you know, what, what's your body feel like, when you start using that part of your brain, then you're more, you can move towards the positive thinking, which is what managers are called to torture sage powers, where you can be able to have empathy for yourself or others, you can learn to explore what's happening, be more innovative, navigate through problems, and activate, all those areas are so needed in the ADHD brain. So pairing this with ADHD, clients, who are struggling with their own self awareness and their own emotional dysregulation has been a huge benefit, because they are starting to recognize what they're thinking, they're catching it by being more aware of their body, which is building that attention. And they're moving towards these areas that are, you know, going to benefit them greater by being creative, which a lot, you know, and tapping into ways to navigate forward, which is planning, how to activate That's motivation. So really training some of those weaker areas, by activating that part of the brain.
28:46
So you go through this process, with your, with your clients, is that part of the beginning? Stages, like you, you start to work with a client and they you go through the PQ program with them is that right?
29:01
So what I do is right now I'm not I'm not doing it in a group format, so work with my clients one on one right now, because I feel like you know, ADHD is very individual. So when we do the, the seven weeks together, it's individual clients who start with me, we get to know each other build that, you know, trust, you know, in the first month or so, and understanding of what's showing up building some awareness and then they go into the program, so that they can really start getting in tune with themselves. And, you know, it's usually, you know, between, you know, three months of coaching or most of my clients that go through the PQ program with me will do six months so that we can really build the foundation that then they can go off and have the habits because you're rewiring the brain to serve you in a better way. And you need the time you're probably you've been practicing it for a lifetime the other way. This is you know, a new way and I have to admit I've been doing it for two years myself. I'm as you know, just certified in PA as it is intelligence as a coach, I went through their mastery program so that I could see what this is like for me, you know, if if I'm, if I'm able to pause myself so that I don't go off the handle when XYZ thing blows up in my family, then I'm starting to notice that I'm, I can essential myself without letting all the saboteur thoughts and habits they're there that I can kind of calm the fire. And you know, so to speak, instead of letting it just, you know, rage on. It's huge.
30:37
And when we talk about, you know, you've mentioned rewiring the brain a lot, like what does it mean to rewire? The brain?
30:44
rewire? So you're absolutely right, you can't, you're not curing it, because not you there's dopamine, and you know, there's a chemical imbalance, right? So it's not, it's not that you're rewiring it in the sense of all of a sudden, you're gonna have more dopamine, it is, the rewiring piece is those instinctual habits that we develop, you know, over a course of our life, wiring in the new habits. And pairing the things that we want to do that are hard with the things that come easier. And it's not necessarily that you're, when I say rewiring, that you're changing, you're gonna cure the ADHD aspect of the brain is supporting is supporting it. So, you know, if we have a negative mindset, and that's where our brain wants to naturally go, it we're not going to, we're not going to intercept that until we want to, we notice that. And when we notice that there's the voice there, then we are able to have a process. So like Positive Intelligence is a framework is something you follow for life, because that's, you have to be intentional and aware. And if you're not, then you're gonna go down the habit path. And whatever your habits are, that you built, is where you're going to go. Not that you're going to change the fact that you have ADHD, and that you will have struggles, you're going to scaffold them with things that help move you in a direction where it's easier to live life in the way that the box is set for us in society.
32:18
It also helps to find community. Absolutely. Do you find that that you now as an ADHD coach, do you? Do you spot it in people constantly? You know, like, like, whether it's whether it's somebody at the grocery store, or or what have you, and you're, you know, because I just just learning about this for myself. I've started thinking like, oh, gosh, yeah, you know, like, I know somebody who definitely is, or, or even when I announced, so despite, I guess I kind of announced it with a blog post that I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I posted it on Facebook and so on, and had so many comments from friends who are like, oh, yeah, I've always thought I do too. And I'm like, Yeah, I know. Now, I know, you do. Do this, do you? Do you spot this a lot? And people?
33:12
You know, I think I see the tendencies. So it's not like, I'm just that. I wonder if they know or, or habit. Because what I know is that people hide it. It's not something that like for you to come out and say it is huge. I think it's wonderful. I wish more people could own who they are. It's hard to be vulnerable in this world. But as a coach, yes, you'll see like, we're you're talking to somebody or or maybe you're just gravitate towards people who are having conversation and you notice things that come up, or you work with people and you're like, gosh, life could be so much easier if if they had, you know, some some tools for that. I think it's anytime it's like the red car, like you buy a red car, you have the red car, and then all of a sudden, everybody else has the same red cars, like well, I've had I have a cool car. It's the it's very similar, you start seeing something that you didn't pay attention to before. As much as you do. Now, I what I kind of find funny, as you know, in my family, you know, we have a lot of animals. And so you know, they're like, Gosh, why do we have all these ADHD animals? We're rescuing all these ADHD animals. And I'm like, and so my kids think it's funny, like they think our dog I mean, he really does seem like he could be ADHD. His brain is all over in every which direction. My other dog she would just stay on her ball for the rest of her life. She loves it. So I do think that when we start knowing something, we start seeing it.
34:43
Yeah, that's that's a great point. It's absolutely. Tell it tell me a little bit about for you personally. You've done a lot of travel. You've lived in multiple states across the country from Arizona. You're in Kentucky now and have you and I know you You're in rural Kentucky, you have horses and, and your dog. So you mentioned I think a pig and possibly a goat or goats. So tell me a little bit about that. And maybe how it pertains to the work you do or the person you are.
35:15
Okay, so I grew up my dad was an Air Force, career Air Force. And so I got to move around, I look at that as a privilege. Now though, as a kid, I hated that. And I was really exposed to different areas of our country and meeting a lot of different types of people and different cultures, which I think really enhanced who I am, as a person that really, like, I really tend to see the good in all people I really work hard to. And as far as you know, I always wanted to have my animals at home, I've always loved animals, even from early age until now, they've been a grounding force. For me, I had horses, you know, when I was young, and a teenager kept me out of trouble. So when I had children, I wanted to give them the same thing of the opportunity to be loved, you know, so unconditionally by something. And we, my husband and I, both have always loved horses for a long time. And we've found this little place and outside of Lexington, Kentucky, and it's our little oasis. And yes, we have a pet pig, who is best friends with my horse. And so it's I, you know, these oddities, my daughter is doing chickens, and we, you know, we did the forage thing with goats. But what it really helped with when my kids were younger, was having something else that they needed to be responsible for that was bigger and outside of themselves, really gave them that, that motivation to learn some of these skills, to learn how to control their emotions, because you can't behave a certain way around certain animals. How to, you know, follow through on getting up and feeding and taking care of things. So I think for how that translates, you know, to people who I coach is, you know, being able just know that there's other things outside of ourselves that are important for us to follow through on that could be a plant, you know, it can be as small as that, or a fishbowl, you know, where you have a little pet fish. And if you have kids, you can be able to foster some care within your children by giving them that opportunity to have animals. For me, it's just been something that I just deeply care about. And at one point, I was going to use the horses for coaching, then COVID happened right when I was launching my business, and that kind of went to the, to the wayside unfortunately, and has taken off in a different direction. And I just feel that, you know, we're on a journey I've gone the way I've gone because that's where, where life is taking me right now. But it's been, it's been a big part of who I am aware a lot of hats in my life, which I think helps me identify with the clientele who have great ideas and want to do things and maybe have their hands in a lot of different areas how to manage that. So you can manage the stress so you can know when to take one hat off and put on another how to be present in your interest and, and follow through with it. And self care is a huge thing, which we haven't even mentioned for ADHD. Most of the time, that's fine. Well by the wayside, part of my self care is is going out there and being with my animals, they give me a lot of joy.
38:36
I'm sure they do my our little Peggy does to us our mini Aussie bundle bundle of fun. Was there anything I didn't ask you about that you wanted to maybe discuss? Are you feeling feeling good?
38:52
You know, I feel great, I guess like just as your choice to put this together and to bring, you know, the community to understand what's available, you know, share the strategies share options, so that people who have you know, neuro divergent brains can access their greatest ability and move forward. I think it's beautiful, and I love the space that you're creating. I would just say, you know, for anybody who is stuck, maybe they aren't diagnosed, but they think maybe they have ADHD or they just are starting to recognize the things they're struggling with. That there are different ways of doing things that make a difference. And what one person says works does not if it doesn't work for you doesn't mean that it's bad or that you're bad just means you got to tweak that. Just some it might not be even that much. The other thing is what works today might not work tomorrow. So that frustration level of just instead being curious and finding that self love I think it's huge. Because I think that shame just takes over and I don't want i, i If I could spell anything it would be to take that away and have people find love for themselves and what is great within them.
40:14
That's great. Thank you, Cindy so much. Yeah, it's been such a pleasure. How can folks get a hold of you or learn more about what you do?
40:21
Sure. So I do have a website, it's Empower M three.com. And they can reach out to me by email, Cindy cind, y, at Empower and three.com. And I'm on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn. I mean, shoot me a message. I'm here to serve and help people in any way I can. And if it doesn't fit, if I'm not the right person, I want to help people find it. So even if I'm not stepping stone, however people can get what they need is what I want for them.
40:57
That's really helpful. Thank you. I'll make sure to keep our include the notes to everything we talked about here in the show notes so folks can click the link over and visit you and reach out. So Cindy, thank you so much for your time today. This has been really helpful.
41:12
You are very welcome, Dave. I appreciate all you're doing and look forward to listening to what you put together for our community. I'll be an active listener.
