Coffee Networking for ADHD

Navigating Caffeinated Conversations with Confidence

Finding time for face-to-face interactions can be challenging in a world that moves at lightning speed. As someone who relies on caffeine to keep pace, I'm no stranger to receiving invitations for coffee meetings. I’d wager to bet any late-diagnosed person with ADHD (err, “Wise Squirrel”) drinks a lot of caffeine too.

Dopamine levels in the brain have to be within a very narrow margin in order for a person to be able to focus on their work. But in ADHD, dopamine levels are too low. Stimulant chemicals such as caffeine or amphetamines tend to increase dopamine levels. For most people, adding stimulants will push dopamine levels too high, causing agitation and anxiety. But for people with ADHD, adding stimulants can get the levels just right. A few cups of coffee throughout the day can make a real difference. - Healthline.

Informal coffee meetings can lead to exciting opportunities like new business ventures, partnerships, and lasting friendships. Recognizing the power of connecting over coffee, I've dedicated a chapter to this in my book, "New Business Networking." In this article, I'll share seven essential strategies tailored for those with ADHD, helping you make the most of your coffee meetings and communicate confidently in a caffeinated state.

☕ Maximizing Coffee Meetings: 7 Key Strategies.

1. Define the Meeting's Purpose. While I'm always open to meeting new people, my time is precious due to various commitments like this site, newsletter, and podcast. Thus, it's crucial to understand the purpose of the coffee meeting upfront.

When someone requests a coffee meeting without specifying their intentions, I make sure to clarify the purpose via email before agreeing. This helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures our time together is valuable. I've had instances where people tried to sell me something during such meetings, and being clear upfront helps avoid those situations.

2. Schedule "Open Coffee" Time. I set aside specific weekly (or bi-weekly) hours labeled as "Open Coffee" on my calendar to accommodate coffee meetings. I use scheduling software to share my available time slots through a unique link, simplifying the scheduling process. The person requesting the meeting can then choose a suitable time, and the system automatically notifies me and adds the appointment to my calendar. I live and die by my calendar!

3. Honor Time Constraints. Punctuality is paramount during coffee meetings; this can be especially tough for people with ADHD, which means arriving early to be sure I’m there on time. If we agree to meet from noon to 1 p.m., I ensure we stick to that schedule. By doing so, I show respect for the other person's time, and they won't feel uneasy about ending our conversation on time. Since both parties have limited time, it is crucial to make the most of it. I even set a silent alarm on my phone to avoid constantly checking the time during our chat. And yes, sometimes I get so excited to meet another Wise Squirrel that we become fast friends and talk longer than expected - and that’s okay.

4. Use Active Listening. When possible, I strive to let the other person do most of the talking. This is difficult because I know how I tend to interrupt; I’m a Wise Squirrel, after all. By using attentive listening, I can focus better and consider their thoughts and ideas; I can ask relevant follow-up questions and engage in a meaningful dialogue. I consciously steer the conversation back to their perspective by asking follow-up and open-ended questions if I notice I am hogging the conversation. As a quick reminder, “silent” is in the word “listen”; it’s like they were trying to tell us all along.

5. Take Notes and Offer Assistance. After the coffee meeting, I jot down notes in my Notes app on my phone immediately while the information is fresh in my head. My notes focus on how I can assist them and what we discussed. This helps me remember what to follow up on later. For instance, if a student shares their aspirations for an internship, I'll connect them with a colleague who might have relevant opportunities.

6. Follow-Up Post-Meeting. Once our coffee meeting concludes, I send a follow-up email to express my gratitude for their time and company. In this message, I recap some of the topics we discussed. Additionally, sending them a LinkedIn connection request provides an excellent opportunity to stay in touch and expand our professional networks. If there are any action items on my end, such as providing an introduction, I include those in my follow-up email.

7. Catch-Up to Stay Connected. I review my calendar for "Open Coffee" meetings at the end of each month. This reflection helps me assess the connections I've made and consider the next steps. Reaching out to people I met several months ago to catch up is a thoughtful gesture. Inquiring about their professional developments, whether they found a new job, moved to a new place, started a business, etc. demonstrates genuine interest and strengthens the bond formed during our coffee meeting. In The Root Down, I discuss this idea in greater detail.

Bottoms up! ☕

Coffee meetings offer unique opportunities to cultivate valuable relationships and achieve meaningful outcomes. By applying these seven strategies, you can effectively navigate your coffee meetings, optimize your time, and build a robust network that enhances your personal and professional life. Whether you're a college student, a newcomer to a city, or a seasoned professional, coffee meetings can be your gateway to success and growth.