PODCAST. Productivity, Overwhelm, and Getting Unstuck with Dr. Kim Pereira.
In this episode of the ADHD Wise Squirrels Podcast, Dave engages in a candid conversation with ADHD life coach Dr. Kim Pereira at ADHDCoachCT.com as they explore the intricacies of living with ADHD. Kim shares her wealth of knowledge and practical advice from her educational background, offering valuable insights for adults and parents with children with ADHD. Kim is a contributing author of Living With Adult ADHD: Embracing The Chaos With A Smile.
Key Insights:
Embracing Passion for Success: Kim emphasizes the importance of pursuing activities aligned with one's passions, especially for individuals with ADHD. Discovering joy and excitement in tasks can significantly enhance productivity and overall well-being.
Exploring Suitable Career Paths: The discussion delves into various career paths that may suit individuals with ADHD, such as entrepreneurship, tech roles, creative industries, and law. Kim highlights the importance of finding professions that offer flexibility, structure, and opportunities for creativity.
Understanding ADHD: Kim underscores the significance of understanding one's ADHD and how it affects cognitive functions. Through education and self-awareness, individuals can identify effective strategies tailored to their unique needs, whether through coaching, therapy, medication, or accommodations.
Navigating Social Relationships: Managing social relationships can be challenging for individuals with ADHD. Kim suggests clear communication about preferred modes of interaction, such as phone calls vs. text messages, to foster understanding and avoid misunderstandings with friends and acquaintances.
Seeking Support: Kim encourages Wise Squirrels to embrace a multi-faceted approach to managing ADHD, regardless of when they receive a diagnosis. Whether through coaching, therapy, medication, or workplace accommodations, seeking support can empower individuals to thrive despite the challenges of ADHD.
This episode offers actionable advice and inspiration for individuals grappling with ADHD's unique challenges, as well as those supporting loved ones with the condition. By delving into crucial topics like overcoming overwhelm, getting unstuck, and boosting productivity, listeners will uncover strategies to navigate life with ADHD more effectively. Kim emphasizes the significance of aligning tasks with personal passions, exploring suitable career paths, and embracing self-awareness as pivotal steps toward thriving despite ADHD's hurdles. Her insights on seeking support and understanding late diagnosis resonate with listeners at any stage of their ADHD journey, offering hope and empowerment.
Tune in for valuable insights and practical tips on navigating ADHD with confidence and resilience. Whether you're living with ADHD or supporting someone who is, this podcast episode promises guidance and encouragement on the path to success.
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0:00today's episode is brought to you by the letters l o v e and what does that spell
0:07
love and why am I talking about love because if you love what I'm doing with Y squirrels you will drop by y
0:16
squirrel. love I love you so much I included a link right here in the
0:21
podcast description that you can just click the link and visit the page to find out how you can spread a little
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love to a certain why
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[Applause]
0:39
squirrel welcome to Y squirrels the podcast for late diagnosed adults with
0:45
ADHD I'm your host Dave Delaney so as you know on wi squirrel. I added a
0:52
little popup box there that ask the question for you to ask questions of Me
0:59
about my life about ADHD about podcasting whatever it is you'd like to
1:05
ask as you know I'm pretty much an open book on most topics so I'm here to
1:11
support you and also to learn from you and and to answer your questions so I
1:16
received a couple questions and I wanted to answer uh one in the episode today uh
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for those of you watching this clip on YouTube uh you can check out the full podcast at y squirrel.
1:30
so the email says hi Dave I love your podcast thank you I'm an entrepreneur in
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my 40s who is recently diagnosed I can relate can you tell me although I'm in
1:40
my 50s but uh can you tell me what it's like in your head that's a great
1:47
question uh I mean how do you handle all of the thoughts and ideas from Kevin
1:54
Kevin thank you so much for this question this is a great one so how do I
1:59
handle of the thoughts and ideas in my head well first of all understand as an
2:04
entrepreneur you know uh those with ADHD are 60 to 80% more likely to have
2:10
entrepreneurial intentions and almost 100% more likely to actually start a
2:16
business or a side hustle of some sort as the kids say do the kids still say
2:22
side hustle I don't even know so uh how do I handle all the ideas and thoughts in my head um what I imagine
2:30
going on in my head a lot of the time are waves like think about like the vision
2:39
of a stormy ocean we're talking not by the beach we're talking like in the
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middle of the ocean where it's really ugly you know huge uh waves and
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and often times when I am not focused
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when I'm unfocused when I'm not thinking about enough I'm thinking
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about everything if that makes any sense at all to you what I mean is that these
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thoughts I have get so many ideas so many thoughts so many little projects so
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many little steps even doing these amas for for yall um these ideas I'll spring
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into my head so how do I handle the waves right how do I handle these thoughts and this is what I recommend
3:30
you do because I found a way it's not perfect but it does help me so there's
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two ways one is by journaling now this doesn't mean have having to have a daily
3:43
diary per se it just means like having a notebook or you can use your phone but
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honestly I find phones incredibly uh distracting probably a topic for another AMA I I know a fair amount about this
3:57
use a notepad or even a pad of paper legal pad whatever and just jot down all
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the ideas that are coming into your head and then after the fact go through those
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ideas and find the ones that make the most sense um you can even categorize
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them by you know save for later or scratch them off if they're not good ideas to begin with OR thoughts even but
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jot them down oftentimes it really does help us think about these things or let
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them get out of our heads and calm those Waves by writing them down so write them
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down and you can even throw that paper out later if you want it doesn't really
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matter the second way is through meditation and mindfulness and I highly
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recommend meditating and I know a lot of people feel that meditation is difficult it is difficult but meditation is often
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confused you're not trying to empty your head we always will have thoughts
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everybody does it doesn't matter so the point isn't to eliminate your thoughts
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the point is to try to focus and focus and calm yourself calm those waves and
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in order to do that I imagine a calm lake I even sometimes imagine it Frozen
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as a Canadian uh you know walking across the lake as a kid or you know ice skating uh just like a calm sort of
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vision of the water that is frozen and still and straight and flat and cool and
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clean and I just focus on my breath and sometimes as I get ideas or
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thoughts I may jot them down during a meditation session during the during a
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period when I'm just meditating and what I'll do is I'll keep a pad of paper by me I'll give myself enough Grace to go
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you know what let me just write it down write it down and then return to the
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breath and the point of this is that you're writing down your ideas you're getting them out of your head and
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sometimes all it takes is just to write the thing down and that helps you then move on to the next thing and then
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meditation really does help so and mindfulness is really in my
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understanding at least and I I'm still learning of course but in my understanding really mindfulness is
6:29
almost a state that comes for meditation so meditation can teach you to be mindful and to be more mindful
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throughout the day and that's a topic for a lot more and uh it's come up on
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the podcast of fair amount and I expect it will again and again because it is a really uh wonderful way to to calm the
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ways and so Kevin thank you so much for the question keep them coming folks go
6:55
over to Y squirrel. and uh yeah submit your questions to me today and I will include
7:01
them and answer them on an upcoming episode my guest today is Dr Kim Pier an
7:08
ADHD coach who teaches adults and parents with children with ADHD now Kim
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recently co-authored the book living with adult ADHD and you can find that
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and her business at ADHD coach
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c.com we spoke about being late diagnosed we talked about the value of setting deadlines for your work tips for
7:32
productivity digital and analog calendars resparking stuff journaling
7:39
dealing with overwhelm when to Pivot careers and much more you're going to
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love this episode with Kim now like me Kim is a Canadian expat now living in
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the US so of course we kicked off our conversation by talking about this I was
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Bor born in Montreal and went to high school in Toronto ah nice that's very
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yeah very cool I uh my dad was born in Mont or he was actually born in Quebec City raised in Montreal and then came to
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Toronto back in the 70s I think and then uh yeah I was born and raised in the
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Mean Streets of downtown Toronto as well so um very cool yeah yeah yeah what
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brought you to Connecticut or to the US um I actually grew up in mostly in New Jersey so in between Montreal and
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Toronto I uh spent my Elementary in Middle School Years in New Jersey just
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outside of New York City and then when it was time to uh look for you know
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University college options I actually came back to the to the US for for college and basically never left what
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got you started in in ADHD what what piqued your interest in in this uh in
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this field yeah um so during the pandemic when um I was home like
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everybody else for a long period of time um I started to realiz realiz you certain things that I just thought were
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sort of quirks of mine which I think is sort of a common thing for those of us who are late diagnosed ADHD and um all
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of a sudden started realizing that there's this that there's possibility that actually could
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be ADHD and started really digging in so I had you know free time in my hand so I
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was doing lots of these free webinars and um free conferences that kind of
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stuff and really started digging into to ADHD and realize hey this actually
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resonates a lot and it makes me wonder whether that's sort of what what's been going on with me for a very long time
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and I learned about ADHD coaching and ironically incredibly impulsively I
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started re researching a couple of the ADHD coach training programs and one of
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them had um an opening with a class time that was sort of perfect for my schedule
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and within about a week I went from researching ADHD coaching to signing up
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for the training program and went from there that's cool and you have a pretty rich history in education and teaching
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too is that right yeah I have a doctorate in higher and post-secondary education from Teachers College at
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Columbia and so I've spent the most of my career working in colleges and
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universities and then a little bit of an in an independent school as well uh pre- pandemic and knowing now what you do
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about uh a ADHD do you do you reflect on your your education and your youth in in
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the decisions you made or the things or didn't make and the the your own sort of
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outcomes from that Journey yeah I think what's really interesting for me is that when I was a
10:49
kid I was sort of labeled as gifted and
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um which I sort of I think was common in the 80s they did a lot of that sort of testing
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and I think I had a lot of struggles in school but I also did really really well in school so most of my struggles were
11:05
not academic um they were more sort of social or um maybe some imposter
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syndrome coming in um so I always did you know school was something I really loved and really really um
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enjoyed um being in school but when I look back there's like very many early
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signs of my ADHD from you know impulsively interrupting or being the
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kid sort of raising their hand going oh because I was so afraid I'd forget what I was going to say um to you know really
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you when I to when I even got to my doctorate and realizing that um the structure of the classroom and and
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having classes and deadlines worked really well for me and then you get to the dissertation phase and it's right
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large paper on any topic related to your field with absolutely no deadlines and
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that part was really really hard and it took me a little while to realize that I needed to put some structures into place
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in order to get activated and with the retrospect that you know now knowing that I have ADHD it's really obvious why
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that part of the diss the doctoral process was so much harder than being in
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the classroom um for me it probably explains a lot why it it uh at least in
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my conversations with smart uh ADHD experts like yourself uh having these
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conversations I've learned that a lot of a lot of like college age College age
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students get diagnosed and and to your point like once you go up to college you're really kind of you're really on
12:43
your own and where where in in high school yeah you're given these you know
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these these dates that you have to have things done by so uh you kind of lose
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that yes and I think you know I work with a number of college students who get confused because they actually did
13:00
well in high school and they but they had all these structures in place and people noticed if you weren't showing up
13:06
to classes or if you weren't handing in your assignments and then you hit college and not only do you not have
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you're not as busy in terms of like every moment of the day being structured
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and but all of a sudden you need to you know no one's really paying attention to whether you're showing up or handing
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things in and without that accountability a lot of adhders start to struggle when I wrote wrote my first
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book uh new business networking I it was a it was a very difficult process or
13:35
process talking to a Canadian uh um but it was really it was really so like
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extremely stressful in in writing the book um and and reflecting on that now
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writing a book is never an easy thing to do but writing that book with undiagnosed
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ADHD was like next level hard and the thing that kept me going with that
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though was because I had a well two things one I had a contract with my publisher they gave me an advance so I
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had these like legally dat legal dates in contract to to to you know send
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everything in by uh you know the chapters and so forth and and I didn't
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miss those dates I was never really late on any of it um but I think reflecting on it I mean obviously as you mentioned
14:25
a little bit like with self-doubt and imposter syndrome things like that I mean that comes up naturally when you're
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writing a book but or especially a non-fiction but also like experiencing
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that with the ADHD uh made things even more difficult the so so I think having those dates in
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place as you mentioned uh really did help me those deadline dates to to hit
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um and the other side of it too the the second thing was my wife thank God thank
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God for my wife CU there's no way I would have complet completed it I try throwing in the towel multiple times
15:01
like forget it this is not for me and my wife's like you have to do it you like
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she was like get off the roof come down not actually but but to be clear uh
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but yeah she so she really really kept me going with that do you do you in in
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the adults that you serve are you uh do you do much with couples or or sort of
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mixed neurotype couples anything like that at all or um not when I'm working
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with adults with ADHD but I do work um with with some parents of children with
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ADHD and a lot of times I'll work with sort of both the mom and the dad and sometimes there's one with ADHD
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sometimes you know neither of them have ADHD sometimes they both do um it just sort of depends um but my work with
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adults is oneon-one yeah got it got it and and I you know it's my understanding
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that it's roughly I think it's estimated at about 80% uh hereditary as far as ADHD goes so
16:05
like so often I'll talk to parents like friends or whomever who have an ADHD
16:12
kiddo uh and I'll be like I know like just talking to them I I I can or or if
16:19
I know them somewhat I'm like wait I'm pretty I wouldn't say it but I'm be pretty certain that they too have ADHD
16:26
like just just undiagnosed and uh yeah so there's um yeah it's just
16:32
interesting to me that that that happens do you see that do you find that happens a lot yes yeah I think a lot of times
16:40
you especially because ADHD wasn't diagnosed as much in the 70s and 80s and you early 90s um because we didn't have
16:47
a great of an understanding of what it looked like especially in women and um women and girls but also in boys who may
16:55
present as the inattentive type and not the more hyperactive type and I think
17:02
what's um really interesting is it's a lot of times when that Journey happens
17:07
with you know a kid getting diagnosed or something like that where a all of a sudden you know the adult goes oh wait a
17:14
second this this sounds very very familiar and I have a lot of clients where that's sort of the the situation
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um I also work with clients who are not officially diagnosed um because the diagnos diagnostic process can be very
17:28
complicated can take a long time and it can be very expensive so uh a diagnosis is not
17:34
required to work with most ADHD coaches um I think most of us work with people
17:39
who are not diagnosed officially but it's um you know this realization that
17:45
wait a second this really resonates and I really really sort of see a lot of the ADHD features um and and symptoms you
17:53
know resonate with me is there a point where like I I understand where where
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you know if you don't have health insurance or you know something like that especially in the
18:07
US let's not start to two Canadian start riffing on socialized medicine uh anyway
18:14
um uh and and there are problems in Canada too because there's not a lot of access to doctors to get uh diagnosed
18:22
but that's a different story yeah um so what are your thoughts on the people
18:28
that you serve who are undiagnosed who clearly have
18:33
ADHD like what are your thoughts on medication because I feel like like I
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personally am on stimulants now and have and they have greatly helped me um I'm
18:45
also seeing a therapist and I'm seeing an ADHD coach as well so what are your
18:51
thoughts on that like is there a point when you say you know what you really need to see a a psychologist or a
18:56
psychiatrist or your GP to get an actual diagnosis so that you can get you know
19:03
not not formal treatment not to downplay what the the great work that ADHD coaches do but but also getting like
19:10
more in-depth with like psychological therapy or medication things like that
19:16
are there are there points when you get to that where you're like you know you need to get what are your thoughts you
19:22
it's always the the the client's choice on whether they want to do that but I do think um therapies from as far as I know
19:29
is is a is a Avenue that's typically stays open whether you're formally diagnosed or not sure um but the you
19:37
medic if someone is interested in pursuing um medication as one of the tools in their toolbox to manage their
19:44
ADHD then a lot of times that's the that's the one um you know having a
19:50
diagnosis for most prescribers and I'm not a prescriber but most prescribers from what I understand will will want to
19:55
see an ADHD diagnosis before prescribing medication so that is something that is
20:02
you know if medication is a tool then the diagnosis process you know can
20:07
definitely be an Avenue that makes sense yeah yeah um for those not on medication
20:15
or or or maybe they are as well what strategies are you using to help uh you
20:22
know with a focus on sort of mid to later aged adults because that's sort of
20:27
our y squirrel diagnosed adult people what sort of strategies you do you find
20:32
are common or or most popular among this stuff in your toolbox that you help your clients with yeah so you as an ADHD
20:42
coach the strategies tend to be very individualized but there are certain sort of themes that I see that a lot of
20:49
the adults with ADHD that I work with struggle with um there's you
20:55
know there's for example things like how to prioritize what we're going to do
21:01
during the day how to keep track of all the many things that adulthood requires
21:07
us to do um how to figure out what we actually you care about and
21:14
are interested in and what to do with all the stuff that falls in that that bucket of not interested and is there a
21:20
way to you if possible Outsource some of that which is you know a wonderful tool
21:27
um if Outsourcing is a not a possibility how do we sort of navigate um through
21:34
you know over that sort of I'm not interested in this sort of a block that we can end up getting into and sort of
21:41
thinking about whether sort of Shifting the way we think about something gamifying uh certain tasks pay you know
21:48
as you people who are in relationships figuring out you know hey I actually I don't mind doing the laundry but I
21:54
absolutely hate doing the you know the dishes and if you don't mind doing the dishes can we just sort of trade these off um so really being much more mindful
22:02
about the interest driven brain and how we can you when we are interested how
22:09
much easier it is for us to do things and trying to craft Our Lives more in line with that interest um because a lot
22:16
of times we just end up doing things because oh you know I need to do the dishes but if there is a way that oh
22:21
wait I can I can offload that that task because I really hate it but I love doing this other task then there's no
22:28
reason why not to do it it's a good tip it's a really good tip for especially for folks with with
22:34
Partners uh yeah that I like I like that idea of like splitting those tasks I
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think that's part of the reason why my wife hasn't killed me yet is uh is as we've been able to to do that
22:48
sort of naturally even even before my diagnosis like one thing like I was diagnosed last year and she's quite
22:56
analog in in like her planning so she has like a calendar and that that she
23:02
has on our fridge that has kind of where our kids are and you know that's mainly them really but you know they're so busy
23:10
it's crazy how busy they are um but uh I I have to have like a digital
23:17
calendar and I finally convinced her maybe two years ago to start adding like
23:22
we share a Google Calendar and so she can add things to the Google Calendar
23:28
and and we can you know in real time I could edit it or move it or she can move it or delete it or what have you but she
23:34
can also like add my email to it so it notifies me um of it and and and we do
23:41
this with the kids too so it really does help kind of keeping on on the same page
23:46
with things and so that way I can kind of manage my day um especially with
23:51
Gmail with Google Calendar because you know at least it it that's what I use
23:57
but you can kind of over overlay so you can turn off and on different calendars and have a look at like if you color
24:03
code them you know what one what your day looks like and how to move things around and so forth have you done stuff
24:09
like that yeah so I think there's um you when I'm working with clients there's a
24:15
mix between the benefits of having a digital calendar and having um an analog
24:21
version and what I always sort of talk to clients about is you know what works
24:27
you do you sort of naturally like to use and that's sort of the you know that's
24:33
the right one for you so if you like to use digital or you like to use a paper calendar like this idea that everyone
24:39
should be on digital um it doesn't have to be that way but it also um there is a value to the digital
24:46
because it gives you the reminders and um so a lot of times it can be a both and so we have our digital calendar
24:54
because it tells us what what's coming up and it gives us the reminders and has the zoom links and things like that all
24:59
in there but if we really want to know what we're doing for the day sometimes having a paper version or writing out
25:05
our our schedule for the day and and can also be really helpful because that gets it into our s of working memory in in a
25:14
much more Salient Salient way than if we're just looking at a calendar online
25:20
so yeah um but the best calendar of course or the best any tool is the tool
25:25
that you have with you so yeah if you you think the notebook's the best thing but you never bring it with you then
25:32
it's not a useful tool um and vice vice versa and the Nic thing about the digital is because many of us bring our
25:38
phones everywhere our the the digital calendar does stay with us yeah and do
25:44
you find often this is you know this is a topic I haven't really explored too
25:49
much even in my own stuff but or my own business or life but um my understanding
25:57
is part of the the uh you know there's there's definitely you know benefits as well but but one of the curses of ADHD
26:04
is that you find a system or you find a process that works for you until it suddenly doesn't and then you like and
26:12
like what is up with that like what is it that we like we find this perfect thing let's say it's a digital calendar
26:19
in this example and then for whatever reason we stop using it like what's
26:25
happening there yeah so this goes back to the interest driven brain and
26:31
whenever we're doing something for a long period of time the novelty wears off of whatever the tool is and so
26:40
there's a great term um that one of the um um the sort of trainers at um atka
26:49
which is one of the um main ADHD coach training Cent a woman named Barbara Luther will talk a lot about is this
26:55
idea of needing to respark eyes so when a tool isn't working it's not that we necessarily need to throw it out but we
27:01
may need to respark IE it um or makes you know a little bit of a a small
27:07
change to it so that it becomes interesting again um or we may some I
27:12
also know a lot of adhders will switch between two different things so that's you if you go back to the example of a
27:18
of a planner calendar kind of thing they may use one for a while and it gets you know it gets boring and then they'll
27:24
switch to another one but maybe they'll recycle that that first one back eventually because after a while it
27:30
regains its novelty again so we're really always looking for that interest
27:35
and that novelty and really what can capture our
27:40
attention and that's where you know that's what's happening when we get sort of we no something no longer works is
27:47
typically where we've lost that interest do you know that do you know how many journals I have that have like four
27:54
pages filled yes yeah I've got so many of those it's crazy yeah and a lot of
28:01
adhders it's funny um you know there's a big um International ADHD conference that sort of moves around the US that
28:08
I'm um You probably talked about with other other client uh other podcast guests but um when we're at the at the
28:16
conference it's really like a lot of times I'll be having conversations with other adhders ADHD coaches about how
28:22
important the type of pen you're using or using colors or this person will only write in this this type of notebook
28:28
because they like the feel of the paper or the the um the way it lies flat or
28:34
whatever whatever the the thing is that works for the person um we can can tend
28:40
to get really passionate about it and having sort of multiple markers with different colors or um erasable pens in
28:46
different colors or those kind of things can can keep our brain interested and that's really important yeah that's
28:54
that's a great tip it's a really great tip because your spot on about it yeah that's very helpful I actually I I did I
29:00
have been Jour journaling more frequently I came to this realization uh I forget how I came up
29:07
with this but I I was always treating a journal like a diary and and so I felt
29:13
that like if I fell behind too many dates then I couldn't use it anymore for some reason and then I realized like the
29:20
difference between at least in my mind the difference between a diary as I just explained in a journal is you can use a
29:26
journal for anything you could SK in a a recipe or draw a sketch or you know or
29:32
put in a journal or a diary type entry and and then it you can give yourself permission to to make a mess of it or
29:40
you know write on the backs of pages or don't it doesn't matter and and in doing this I found it's it really helped like
29:47
I've been able to keep it up now um I wanted to share something I wrote Because it kind of touches on uh and
29:55
it's something I've shared with others and on this show as well but you're talking about like doing too many things
30:02
or thinking too many thoughts in a way can lead to like overwhelm and uh I
30:08
realize that like a lot of times what happens with me is I don't do the work or I don't do the thing that I need to
30:13
do because I get overwhelmed with the all the different moving parts and that just freezes me from actually doing the
30:20
thing and so I wrote like overwhelm equals paralysis equals
30:26
stagnation um and so you know the idea like like as I just explained about the overwhelm but then
30:32
that just leads me to kind of freeze and then I don't move forward you killed mosquito no
30:41
sorry it sounded like you killed a mosquito for sure no no no I just something something something
30:48
sort of moved on my desk sorry no that's okay that's okay hey kill the mosquito
30:53
trust me Valaria is terrible um what are your thoughts on
30:58
yeah I mean I think overwhelm is a huge issue for adhders and it can be as like
31:05
as you said sort that idea of um really paralyzing and it can you know if we
31:12
have so many things that we want to do but we don't know where to start that can be really really challenging and
31:19
that is one of the things that um is really common with ADHD is not knowing
31:24
how to naturally sort of Dive Into You AR to-do list or to how to naturally
31:30
sort of start a um project and like where do we actually sort of think of
31:36
think about this and um I remember the first conference I went to two years ago in person um was uh there was someone
31:43
who did a presentation I I actually can't remember her name but she had this uh image of you know the neurotypical
31:51
brain when they enter a project is sort of climbing up a ladder so they know like this rung and then we go to this
31:56
rung and then we go to this rung but then with the ADHD brain this is a very old school um imagery but like it's sort
32:03
of like Wagon Wheel so you still have the rungs but it's like where do you actually enter yeah the project and that
32:08
can become so overwhelming and when we have lots of ideas you know which one do
32:14
we do first you know um how do we know like what's the right way to sequence it
32:19
or just even where to start and that can be one of the most devastating things with ADHD is that we have really great
32:26
ideas we can be Inc L creative and I use creative in a very very broad way not just artistic but just in the way of
32:33
really thinking of all these different ways to think about about an idea I have a lot of clients who talk about the
32:39
ability to to see to solve problems in ways that no one else in their company can can solve them because they just see
32:45
the puzzle pieces come together in a different way and all that creativity though can can get stuck if we get into
32:53
that state of overwhelm um and the other thing that tends to happen you know think about this when we're talking
32:58
about like the technology is we ALS can also sometimes get um caught up because
33:03
we can over complicate things so um looking for the you know the exact right
33:10
tool in technology and sort of learning all these different things to try to find the right tool when many times a
33:15
simple tool may be the the best answer yeah I've certainly been guilty of that many many times of just getting yeah
33:24
kind of getting stuck and overwhelmed and trying to like reinvent the wheel when we already have the
33:30
wheel yes exactly what are some other strategies to to overcome that like let's let's you
33:37
know let's say somebody is you know some like let's say somebody is running a business and they
33:43
know uh maybe they're a solopreneur let's say so they don't they don't they don't have or a solo practitioner or
33:50
whatever but they don't have like a team to to delegate you know tasks or
33:56
projects to and they're kind of on their own to do to you know to do these things to to juggle the plates and cats and so
34:03
on uh what are some strategies to do the work or to to get into the the work mode
34:10
of of doing the the the stuff that you may not really be as interested or want
34:15
to do yeah and I think those fall into a couple different categories so there's
34:21
you know certain things that we just have to do no matter what whether we're interested them in them or not so so
34:28
sometimes that's where um you're trying to figure out a system that can make it
34:34
easier and that's where some of these te um technology tools can really be helpful um there's a lot of um promise
34:42
in Ai and helping get through some of the the task that could be sort of you know not so fun to do for entrepreneurs
34:50
and and things like that um but there's also you so those are sort of the things
34:57
that we we need to figure out how to get around um doing doing them regardless
35:02
but there's also sometimes this feeling that we need to be doing something we need to be doing sort of all these
35:07
things because we see you know in my case other ADHD coaches are doing this and you know you you start to see all
35:15
the things that are possible and that can become really overwhelming so I think one of the things that I'll often
35:22
talk to um my clients who are entrepreneurs about is the idea of like what is really
35:28
like what is the core of your business and what actually matters for the core of your business versus like what might
35:34
be fun to do if you had spare time and really making sure that we're focusing
35:40
on what matters for the core of our business and moving those things forward
35:46
and not getting distracted by you know the fun new cool thing that might be out there but takes us away from getting the
35:53
stuff done that we really need to be getting done what about as far as like especially as it applies to
35:59
entrepreneurs and and certainly ADHD is kind of rampant among entrepreneurs I
36:04
think it's like 60 to 80% of people with ADHD have entrepreneurial intentions and
36:10
nearly 100% are likely to start a business uh that based on that what
36:17
about like pivoting your business from one business to another or one idea like
36:23
you know if one's like adding a second smaller business or smaller project um
36:29
almost like you know side hustles uh although so often side hustles really
36:34
happen to people who are employed who Who start a side business and then that
36:40
hopefully becomes you know something so profitable that they can quit their job and do that full-time but what about
36:46
when you have your own business and you have an idea for something else and you start building that on the
36:52
side yeah I think um I think that is common and it it it can actually be a
36:59
good thing because it can help keep keep things interesting um the question I
37:04
often will say that adhders we tend to do well when we are busy and that's sort
37:10
of we were going back to the college student um sort of falling off the cliff sometimes what happens there is is you
37:15
know they go from high school where they're super busy to college where they're not as busy and I think as adult
37:21
adhders we tend to do best when we are quite busy until we fall off a cliff and
37:27
the risk of the you know extra side hustles is we could end up you know falling off um falling off the cliff or
37:35
um you I have some clients that will sort of come up with an idea and they'll be like I was awake for you know you know every night sort of you know
37:41
working on this special project and then realize I was you have too too tired to do my own job um that that's where it
37:47
can start to get out of control but it does give us sort of that interest and I think that's sort of exciting and
37:53
sometimes the best things come out of those great ideas and giving a try so it's it's worth sort of sometimes
38:00
pursuing those exciting new ideas as long as they don't end up you putting us into that complete
38:08
burnout and where we're we're not able to do the things that we really want you know we're supposed to be doing or or
38:14
need to be doing yeah and I'll be the first to admit that that is kind of my
38:21
story here uh in a way I mean with you know future forth is my core business
38:26
and I I do a lot of communication strategy uh there and public speaking and things like that and
38:33
when I was diagnosed last year uh with ADHD right away I'm like I need to start
38:40
a website and and start writing about this and learning and and I need to start a podcast and talk to smart people
38:46
about this stuff so I can learn as well and I can share what I'm learning and and that became why squirrels and and
38:53
the podcast and everything and uh I'm not like terribly woo woo but
38:59
I do respect that we're not alone here and that the universe is maybe trying to
39:05
tell me stuff uh and I'm I'm more mindful of that and and listening a little better now and uh yeah I keep
39:13
getting indicators that I should I should be shifting gears and and
39:20
continuing why squirrels like be more invested in this than I am and and the
39:26
other stuff I'm doing asking for business advice of course because you don't know that the and I won't Bor bore
39:31
you with those details but uh it is interesting because I I do find myself uh I spoke to a friend about this
39:39
the other day uh where he was kind of giving me some advice he's had some pretty successful businesses and exits
39:45
and all that stuff and he was like Dave like when you're talking about why squirrels you light up like you you are
39:53
so clearly way more excited about this um than other stuff that you do and uh
40:01
he's like you should you know push forward so who knows I mean we would have been talking way sooner had I been
40:08
able to get like sponsors for the podcast so that I could afford to change
40:14
the format of the show to weekly which is still my goal or one of my goals but um yeah it's kind of interesting yeah
40:22
and I think what you're talking about that lighting up that's something as a as a coach that I really I really look
40:27
for when I'm talking to clients is what is it you we look for those shifts in tone the shifts in sort of even body
40:35
language of you know where are What are the things that get you excited right
40:41
and that's where you know as a coach I often will talk about crafting a life that works with your ADHD rather than
40:47
against it and it is those you know our world sort of sometimes just says just
40:52
do the thing because you know it will pay well or it's the you know
40:57
respectable job out there or you it's what your parents did or whatever reason
41:02
you you choose whatever you're going to be be doing but for the ADHD brain it really is important that we're
41:09
doing something we're passionate about so we try to look for that Mo those moments when you know we're lighting up
41:15
about something and really excited and that's where we're most likely to thrive is when we're doing the things that we
41:21
we love to do and where adish Jers really can struggle is when they're in a job or
41:28
you tased with so many things that are on their to-do list that are things that
41:33
just bring them down or don't cause any any excitement whatsoever and that's
41:39
where our ADHD can be really hard to manage is when we're spending so much time doing those kind of things yeah
41:44
versus the things that make us excited what makes you excited well I love I love ad ADHD
41:52
coaching it's I it's just one of the most amazing things I love uh working
41:57
with clients I love seeing their their progress I love sort of seeing those
42:03
moments of you know aha and sort of um really helping my clients um navigate
42:10
that Journey towards crafting as I said crafting life that works with their ADHD um I love being part of uh this
42:19
community and really learning things you my background it's probably evidence of the fact that I got doctorate and things
42:25
like that that I love learning and that's I've always pursued and so when I decided to you know go to
42:32
um get my ADHD certification and go do coach training I just loved learning
42:38
about ADHD and all of that the the coaching process and and all of those kind of things I'm actually now
42:44
currently doing an advanced training um at a you know my first training was at a place called The International ADHD
42:49
coach Training Center or iak Center and now I'm doing Advanced Training at adka which is another ADHD coach training uh
42:57
program and I just love learning all the time so I get fired up when I'm learning new things and um and I also you know
43:03
I'm a parent and I just love the fact that that what I do allows me to spend as much time with my kids as as um I'm
43:10
able to because as an entrepreneur I can craft my life around you their schedule
43:17
and so it allows me to do both things which I never thought I'd be able to do when I was working and are there are
43:24
there other because a lot of the ADHD coaches that I speak with uh they themselves
43:30
have ADHD um are there are there other career paths and things that you've noted that
43:39
that seem a better direction for those with ADHD versus you know neurotypical folks or or what have you I mean I think
43:46
you know part of it has to do with interest is you know and everyone's sort of interest in different things um I I
43:52
think one of the obvious things you mentioned were that there are a lot of adhders who are Entre R preneurs um
43:58
because I often will say we do well with structure with flexibility and being an entrepreneur gives you that flexibility
44:05
and that excitement and we can get our ideas and craft them into a you know business the way that we we want you the
44:13
business to look like um I think you know I have a number of clients
44:18
interestedly that are in the in the tech world and and that's not my specialty but there's sort of a structure in the
44:23
tech world that um seems to work work really well for a lot of my clients and there's um often although it may seem
44:31
very independent a lot of times there's a lot of collaboration um accountability body doubling built into um computer you
44:39
know coding kind of um roles that kind of thing so um that's not what I would
44:45
have thought would be a big ADHD um thing because I just hadn't thought about it but I have a lot of clients who
44:50
are in the tech field and really Thrive with their um ADHD I think the creative
44:56
world you know filled with adhders whether it's you know actors or singers
45:01
or um you even athletes that kind of uh kind of thing but I have you know
45:06
clients who are in all different kind of things um I you know lawyers especially
45:12
um those who go into court and the thrill of being in court is really exciting or the thrill of that that win
45:18
can be really a really big sort of you know dopamine hit and very exciting so there's a really wide range of careers
45:25
that I do think that works what really matters is what is that interest um to the person and and if you're not
45:32
interested in it it doesn't it you could change companies you can change all the
45:37
things but without that interest it can be really really really hard to make it work yeah and you mentioned a lot of you
45:44
know creatives a lot of famous people have ADHD and when we originally spoke
45:51
uh some few a number of months ago now you had recommended I watch the disruptors
45:57
documentary about uh ADHD and being the person that I am uh of course I reached
46:04
out to the movie to the to the filmmakers and ended up uh interviewing
46:09
Nancy Armstrong the executive producer of that film here on the podcast I don't know if did you did you catch that
46:15
episode by any chance yeah I saw that yeah it's fantastic um and it's it's a great great documentary um because it's
46:22
one of the few that really shows that ADHD while not minimizing the fact fact that it's challenging that it can really
46:30
be you know if you if you follow those passions you can have such an amazing
46:36
amazing life and amazing career once you find out what that what your passion is
46:41
um and I love the fact that they follow you know astronauts and musicians and um
46:48
you CEOs and all different you people in all different types of careers but um it's that passion that really that
46:54
really drives um the success in it and once and what I also think what's also
47:01
important and and the um doc highlights this is that being giving ourselves
47:07
permission to pursue those kind of you know pursue our passions and pursuing
47:13
what what we love can sometimes ironically be hard I think in in society
47:18
and our culture and but give once we give ourselves permission to do that it it can really
47:25
open up so many opportunities yeah I think it's kind of like in in the most passive way possible but like pulling
47:31
the trigger you know like making like just doing it like just just taking the
47:38
step towards the thing that you're interested in if if not for just for the
47:43
sake of like just testing the waters to see you know what it's like like like
47:48
when I started this podcast and and you're a testament to this and I'm soor sorry um but what happened was I reached
47:56
out to all sorts of different ADHD coaches and therapists and so on and
48:02
everybody said yeah I would love to be on on the show and suddenly my entire calendar was booked with like all these
48:09
hour-long recordings interviews and I'm like oh crap like I don't make any money from
48:15
this and I work for myself so I'm like I had to I had to have my own little come
48:20
to Jesus to think okay hold on I gotta I gotta back up a little bit on this switch it like do it every two weeks um
48:29
I like I still have recordings of interviews that I that I have planned to to release soon as well but um yeah it's
48:38
it's so I guess it's managing and also I think being mindful which is just such a
48:44
huge part of this is is being mindful enough to slow down and take a beat and
48:51
just realize and journaling helps with this too realizing like wait I I maybe I should pause for a second and rethink
48:57
what I'm doing and you know but keep going as well right yeah and I think
49:03
that's one of the advantages we like early on we were talking about sort of whether to get a diagnosis or not and I
49:09
think that's one of the advantages of of you maybe getting a formal diagnosis but at least sort of really understanding
49:14
like okay yes I have ADHD and sort of started to identify with it is that when
49:20
once we sort of say and learn that okay like this is what's going on we can
49:25
learn so much about how our brains work there's so much information out there some of it
49:31
not great so you want to make sure you're getting to the to the the reliable sources out there but from um
49:38
you know books to podcasts to uh webinars to YouTube channels you know
49:44
all these kind of ways that we can get information about ADHD I think for anyone who is you know late diagnosed
49:51
the more you I actually think one of the most useful tools for managing your ahd
49:56
is understanding how your brain works yes because then you realize oh wait it's not just me it is actually an ADHD
50:04
thing and a lot of times when I work with clients I you I sort of you know point out that they're not alone with
50:11
that struggle or that experience or that you know um that feeling that they're
50:16
feeling um and that it is sort of common with adhders it really can free them to
50:23
sort of say oh wow okay then I can actually do something about it but I also don't feel like I can stop beating
50:28
myself up about it as well yeah yeah it's really about like giving yourself Grace I think of certainly that's how
50:35
I've experienced all of this as well is realizing like yeah I like I I
50:40
interviewed uh Tamara uh Tamara Rosier Rosier and uh and she wrote uh I think
50:48
you're you're probably familiar right she wrote your brain's not broken yeah um which was the first book I I
50:54
read and I was like oh my God like I kept texting my wife like you like or
51:00
you won't believe this like this is me and like now I know like these weird Tendencies or whatever habits or things
51:07
that I do I'm like oh and as I was reading that I'm just like oh like totally connecting the dots on this
51:13
stuff and I think to your point like I think it is it is really important uh to to you know get
51:22
diagnosed and know for certain to your point to to understand and but also you
51:29
know uh Richard Barkley uh had a you know or Russell Barkley excuse me but
51:35
Russell Barkley yes yeah he recently uh or not I don't some time ago not that long ago did a a YouTube video I've
51:42
tried to invite him on this show um and he wrote back and said well I'm retired
51:47
and I'm like but you do a video every week about come on man like I'm not I'm
51:52
not trying to shill for you I just want to I want to highlight you I mean gosh what a what an impressive and important
51:59
guy but anyway he uh he did a video about several different studies that
52:05
found ultimately that the uh average lifespan for an adult with
52:12
undiagnosed and untreated ADHD can be up to 13 years
52:19
less those who are receiving treatment or those who are you know don't have
52:24
ADHD and so and that that's a pretty negative Point pretty sad point but he he makes a point to say
52:31
that like it's reversible like getting treatment seeing a coach like medication
52:36
if that's what's needed therapy all these things combined uh help you
52:43
prevent these these these you know mishaps uh from happening and and those
52:50
Maps can include like just a quick car accident or you know a spare the moment
52:55
you don't think or driving too quickly and and you crash or it can include like uh you know overdosing or alcoholism or
53:03
or things like that where the excessive thing is is there and yeah yeah and this
53:08
is where I'm really hopeful in the sense that I feel like the you know the
53:13
current generation that's growing up the the children and teens of of today are
53:19
much more open about mental health and um much more comfortable sort of saying
53:26
I I have ADHD and you're not hiding it and I what I find was is really
53:31
fascinating is I think it's more sort of you our generation that is like oh no no hold on don't don't say it um and I've
53:39
had people sort of tell me like I you know how you know I know you have ADHD but why why do you talk about it well
53:44
there's nothing to be ashamed about having ADHD yeah and it actually is a part of me so of course you know I want
53:51
to I want to you to understand it and and the more people can see that people
53:57
with ADHD can be successful I've had people tell me there's no way you can have like you were misdiagnosed how can
54:02
someone with a doctorate have ADHD and you in a lot of us have heard that kind
54:08
of those kind of statements and there's has nothing to do with intelligence it has nothing to do with any of that kind of kind of aspect of it it is you know a
54:17
neurobiological um disorder that impacts our you know our ability to focus and I
54:23
think that's sort of very different than um how a lot of us sort of understood ADHD so I am hopeful that you know the
54:30
generation is coming up will embrace it more and really look for
54:35
the resources that they need to thrive whether it's asking for accommodations or really understanding that they need
54:42
to choose career fields that align with you know their ADHD rather than
54:47
following the that that um career field that their you know parents just want
54:52
them to go to um you know so I think that's super super important to understand that that you know the
55:01
changing sort of culture I think will be really helpful and it's it's usually the parents that are the ones who don't want
55:07
to talk about it not the kids yeah that's a good that's a great point I'm I'm being mindful of time here but I did
55:13
have a quick question regarding uh uh friendship um as we get older we
55:20
regardless of who you are or your neurotype uh you know having friends especially after moving and I know
55:27
you've you've spent time traveling and lived you know abroad and and and things like that uh but as you get older it's
55:33
harder to make new friends any any tips on on making new friends especially with
55:41
ADHD because one thing I've experienced is I know a lot of people from running my own events um but uh as I as I sort
55:50
of think about this stuff I realize that like I I don't have as many like I have a few really close friends of course
55:56
but the rest kind of fit into like the acquaintance and less friend and and I
56:03
know myself now it's it's partly what we were talking about before with this
56:08
overwhelm of managing all these relationships and then not managing any of them uh any tips around that well I
56:16
think there's a couple things going going on I mean in general adhders can struggle socially a lot more so that is
56:23
you know um we often can struggle with reading social cues or um you know other
56:29
different different ways but there's also this sort of you know we pay attention to what's in front of us so
56:35
the friends that are maybe less less close by or that we're not seeing on a
56:41
regular basis if you're you're an entrepreneur working from home you're not naturally running into your friends
56:46
you on an everyday basis it can be harder for us to remember so creating
56:51
some type of ritual or some type of habit of reaching out that doesn't just relying on us remembering oh go hold on
56:58
I want to go reach out to Sarah or whoever um I think is is super important
57:05
and you but it can be can be difficult um and I think sometimes also
57:11
identifying like what our barriers may be I have clients who really find text messages to be really stressful and they
57:18
prefer to speak on the phone and other people absolutely hate the phone and they only want to text or they only want to see people in person so whichever way
57:25
you're most comtable communicating with with friends and getting together I think it's sometimes helpful to sort of
57:31
communicate like hey if you text me I may be really bad at getting back to you so just give me a call that's the way
57:36
you know then you're sure to sure to get me and if I can I'll I'll definitely answer so that can be really helpful so
57:42
that you know our friends don't think we're just ignoring them by you know ignoring that text message but you know
57:48
we can easily forget to respond or you know as I said some I have some clients who absolutely hate texting um and it's
57:55
you that communication can be helpful so that you we don't come across this as
58:01
you not being interested yeah that's a great tip that's a really really good tip so you know I'm going to make a note
58:07
of that too of of really trying to be clear with the people in my life of you
58:13
know how you know without saying like this is the way we need to meet but but you know what I mean but being clear
58:19
about like how I I prefer uh to to meet up or or you know over the phone or what
58:26
have you um yeah I think that's a great that's a great Point um so wrapping up
58:32
because I know we're uh we're almost out of time here I did want to uh ask you just how people can learn more about
58:39
what you do get a hold of you um maybe talk to you about coaching that kind of
58:44
thing yeah so my um company name is ADHD
58:49
coach C and my um website is ADHD coach
58:57
c.com and on my website you can find out more about me um you can set up a free
59:03
consultation if you're interested um I also do have a Facebook uh page ADHD
59:10
coach C which I do um um post things there from from time to time and I also
59:16
have a newsletter that you can sign up for on my website so when I have a new event coming up or something like that
59:23
then um I usually will send out a newsletter about that as well great excellent well I will make notes of that
59:29
and include it in the show notes um Kim did I miss any questions or any any
59:35
topics that that uh that you feel like we should have covered or are we good
59:40
well I can talk about this all day long but um no I think you know for we we talked about a lot of you know really
59:47
important things and I think the um you know for those you know those who are
59:52
listening who are late diagnosed ADHD um I think it's really important
59:57
that that they don't like you don't think it's too late to get support um
1:00:03
that you g getting support whatever it looks like whether it is coaching
1:00:08
whether it's therapy whether it's um medication whether it's getting accommodations at work um any of those
1:00:15
ways and actually the best management of ADHD is a combination of all these things and I want to really add in that
1:00:21
education piece the more you understand your ADHD from reliable sources so I'll
1:00:26
throw that out there um is super super important and I think the really the
1:00:32
thing to really think about is um it's just not you know at any any point you
1:00:37
can get support I've had clients in you know who are in you know retirement age
1:00:43
um it's never too late to to start really crafting a life that works with your ADHD so that you can you can Thrive
1:00:50
well that is a great great Point Kim this has been so much fun thank you so much for sharing your your smarts with
1:00:57
uh with the wise squirrels listening oh thank you so much for inviting
1:01:03
me hey thanks a million for listening to the podcast today it is awesome to have
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1:01:54
thanks for
