PODCAST. Imposter Syndrome, Hyperactivity and the VIA Character Strengths Assessment with ADHD Coach Chris Ann Nixon.
Navigating ADHD: Imposter Syndrome, Hyperactivity, Masking, and VIA Strengths with Chris Ann Nixon.
In the latest episode of the ADHD Wise Squirrels podcast, our host and Chief Wise Squirrel, Dave Delaney, sits down with Chris Ann Nixon, an ADHD coach and founder of Coach Can LLC. The conversation covers a wide range of topics, including imposter syndrome, hyperactivity, masking, and the transformative power of the VIA Strengths assessment. Here are some key takeaways from their insightful discussion.
Understanding ADHD and Imposter Syndrome
Chris Ann shares her personal journey of being diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, which was initially met with skepticism and denial. Like many adults, especially women, she didnโt fit the traditional hyperactive stereotype. Instead, her ADHD showed up through struggles with focus, anxiety, and imposter syndrome. Despite years of success in her career, she constantly felt like she might be โfound outโ as incapable, a hallmark of imposter syndrome. This experience is common in women with ADHD, who often mask their symptoms, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
Masking and Hyperactivity in Women with ADHD
Masking, the act of altering behavior to fit social norms, is another significant topic in their conversation. Chris Ann describes how she would change her tone of voice depending on the environment, a subtle form of masking many women with ADHD employ to avoid standing out. This need to fit in can be exhausting and lead to rumination and perfectionism. Hyperactivity, on the other hand, doesn't always manifest in the stereotypical fidgeting or bouncing-off-the-walls behavior. For Chris Ann, it showed up as racing thoughts and restlessness. She explains that hyperactivity in women is often more internal, such as excessive talking, mind-wandering, or subtle physical habits like twirling hair or tapping fingers.
The VIA Character Strengths Survey is a free strengths assessment.
The VIA Survey is the only free, scientific survey of character strengths in the world. Take this simple, 10-minute character test and discover your greatest strengths. Research shows that knowing and using your character strengths can help you:
Increase happiness and well-being
Find meaning and purpose
Boost relationships
Manage stress and health
Accomplish goals
GET STARTED BELOWโฆ
Harnessing Strengths Through VIA Character Assessment
One of the most empowering tools Chris Ann uses in her coaching practice is the VIA Strengths Assessment. Based on positive psychology, this tool helps individuals discover their core strengths and how to leverage them in their daily lives. During the interview, Dave shares his results from the VIA assessment, and they explore how understanding strengths like humor, curiosity, and fairness can help individuals with ADHD manage their symptoms more effectively.
By focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses, Chris Ann helps her clients reduce the overwhelm of ADHD and approach their goals with confidence. She emphasizes that leaning into these strengths can improve focus, self-esteem, and overall life satisfaction. For instance, Dave's signature strength, humor, allows him to navigate challenges with a light-hearted approach, making staying motivated and connected with others easier, especially while delivering his acclaimed ADHD keynote presentation, The Root Down.
The Role of Positive Psychology in ADHD Coaching
Chris Annโs background in Positive Coaching and Athletic Leadership also plays a pivotal role in her approach. She believes that positive emotions, strong relationships, and personal fulfillment are crucial for managing ADHD. Her coaching combines these principles with a deep understanding of ADHD brain function to help her clients thrive, not just survive.
Next stepsโฆ
This episode of ADHD Wise Squirrels offers a thoughtful exploration of how ADHD impacts adults, particularly in areas like imposter syndrome, hyperactivity, and masking. Chris Annโs approach to using the VIA Strengths Assessment encourages individuals to embrace their authentic selves and build on their inherent strengths.
To learn more about Chris Ann Nixonโs coaching and strengths-based programs, visit her website at CoachCan LLC, and be sure to share your VIA Strengths results with her to get started.
If you're struggling with ADHD, whether you're newly diagnosed or suspect you might have it, consider taking the VIA Strengths Assessment and working with an ADHD coach to harness your unique strengths. It could be a game-changer in your journey toward a more balanced, fulfilling life.
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0:00
Yeah, tell me a little bit about what you do with your coaching practice. Yeah. So I finished my adca basic certification, and have really appreciated the concepts and the coaching,
0:17
I guess, strategies, that have been taught through that and just the learning about the brain science and learning more about ADHD and helping to guide people through conversations about how to work past their challenges and lean into their strengths and really make their way toward the life that they decide that they want to create for themselves, and the thing that's been particularly interesting for me is I've been able to take what I've learned through adca, and then I'm also taking a master's program that focuses on Positive Coaching and Athletic leadership, because I figured, even though it's dealing with athletics, or that's the context that we're talking around,
1:08
it can apply to leadership everywhere. And just that positive psychology, which it's so heavily rooted in,
1:16
is a theme that I there's definitely a lot of overlap and benefit, I think, from using those positive psychology notions and combining them for the ADHD population, along with character strengths and what took you like, what put you in that direction, what made you decide to get into ADHD coaching. So I was diagnosed formally with ADHD the early part of 2020 right before covid put us all on lockdown, and I was in, I say, formally diagnosed, because I was in denial
1:53
about ADHD. I questioned whether it even really existed. And of course, had that stereotypical image that I think so many of us have, of the four year old boy running around, not able to sit still in class, and can't keep his mouth shut. And
2:09
just went on this litany with one of my girlfriends, who was the one who had brought it up with me, and I said, you know, I was co valedictorian of my high school class. You know, I graduated from college. I'm working on a master's program. I was like, There's no way that I have ADHD. And I started reading about it. And the more I read, the more I really connected with a lot of the things that were being described, especially as it presents in women. And so that got my attention enough to go see a psychiatrist and be formally diagnosed with ADHD, started taking medication, and I think when I took the medication, and you know, I still remember taking it for the first time and feeling like I had just taken the biggest chill pill of my life,
2:56
thoughts quieted down that were going through my head. My girlfriend and I went to a coffee shop, and it was the first time that I
3:05
can remember, you know, there were tables around us, and I couldn't hear their conversations. I wasn't focused on their conversations or thinking about them, and was really able to be present and just show up and be myself and enjoy having coffee with my friend. Um, yeah, and then there, there was no denying it at that point, was it, was it the same friend who had, who had identified ADHD in you, or somebody different? I was admitted they, did they comment? Or did they notice? Um, I don't know if they noticed. My husband noticed, when I got home, he just noticed that I was in a much better mood, and didn't seem distracted, and just seemed really content and really happy.
3:50
Yeah, it's amazing what that what, what medication can do. Certainly. Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned how it shows differently in women. You know, I've talked about that a little bit here on the podcast before, but I'd love to hear a little bit from your perspective of, yeah, how does it show up differently in women than it does in men? I think some of the things that I can connect with the most are that feeling of being an imposter. So despite the fact that I had worked in the same job for almost five years and knew that I was doing a good job, there was still this fear in the back of my head that
4:30
one day somebody's gonna find out that, you know, I don't know what I'm doing, even though I did, and I'm gonna get fired. And it's just this,
4:39
this feeling of, you know, you're the adult in these situations, but it doesn't feel real, for lack of a better word. It's kind of like always looking over your shoulder, waiting to be found out.
4:54
And masking, I think, is a big piece of it too, just trying to fit in in different environments. And kind of.
5:00
Uh, altering the way that you're acting based on who you're around. So that was a big piece for me, that rumination and just, you know, if something didn't go the way that I wanted it to go in a conversation or whatnot, just having that conversation over and over in my head and beating myself up and wondering, you know, what I could have done differently
5:21
for it to have gone better, in my opinion, or that perfectionism, you know, that's that's a big piece of it too. And I guess a lot of it is just that hyperactivity, I feel like in women, shows up, and not just in women, but shows up more
5:38
in different ways, I think, than stereotypes project. So, I mean, it is those racing thoughts. It is that, you know, stimulating your brain by thinking about something or having catastrophic thinking, kind of expecting that worst case scenario to be what plays out, and
6:00
maybe not the fidgeting, but, you know, playing with a pin or clicking a pin, or having a fidget toy or a ring that you can't keep your hands off of, or twirling your hands in your hair,
6:11
those are all, I think, less subtle forms of hyperactivity that I had no idea were related to ADHD. Yeah, I was reading a book about ADHD when I was diagnosed, and your brain's not broken. And in that book, yeah, I kept texting my wife as I was reading, I'm like, Oh my God. Like, I totally do this. And it was like, everything from, like, chronically chewing my lips and chewing the inside of my mouth all the time that, like, I cannot stop stimming for some reason. And then
6:46
I do this thing. I've mentioned it on the show before, and it's just, it seems so weird, and it's just weird to explain but, but I I kind of, like, if I'm wearing an old t shirt, I wear a lot of cool old T shirts, but like, with it really super soft. I kind of feel the fabric, and I'll do it like, if we're sitting down having coffee, I'll do it like, under the table, discreetly. And I'm not like, thinking about doing it or planning to be sneaky, to have it under the table, but I totally do it all the time, like I'm driving I'm doing it right now,
7:21
but it's funny. Yeah, it's one of those, one of those things that and Tamara, in the, in the, in her book, your brain's not broken, she mentions it wasn't that specifically, but it was something about like touching, like fabric or something like that. And I was like, Oh, my God, that's totally me. Yeah, it's, it's it's pretty interesting. Tell me a little bit about masking. You mentioned masking. How does that? How does that show up? I call it my telephone voice. And to be honest, I don't remember in ADHD transparency. I don't remember if I came up with this term, or if my husband came up with this tone term, but it's, I'll be having a conversation, and depending on who I'm having a conversation with, my voice can be one to two octaves higher or lower, depending on my level of comfort in the conversation.
8:10
Interesting. So does it go higher or lower when you're with like a friend over coffee? Kind of thing? It goes lower, the more comfortable I am. Okay, I'm really telling to myself
8:22
all your tells, yeah, we should play poker sometime.
8:27
Yeah, it's so like I do something that's
8:33
along those lines, where I when I so I've lived abroad. I lived in Ireland and Scotland and
8:43
the Czech Republic for a while, and and I'm from Canada as well, so live and I live in the south. So I don't know if this is from ADHD, but it's not something that I've ever
8:56
thought about. But if I'm, if I'm speaking to somebody like that's, let's say they're Irish, I will start putting on an Irish accent, like, subtly, like, I'm not, like, hi, you know, like trying to do, you know, Lucky Charm guy or something, but I, but I subtly, there's, there's, and it's strange. Like, if I'm talking to someone from Ireland or from Scotland, I might put it on a little or even like, you know, the maritime provinces in Eastern Canada are very Irish and Scottish often. You know, talking like you meet people from Newfoundland, for example, they sound very Irish. And I have friends from there, so as I'm talking, yeah, it's weird. I don't know. I mean, for years, I blamed it on the beer,
9:39
but I don't know. Continued well, then I continued, and I'm like, I'm sober now, so I know it's, I know it's not that. I don't know. I don't know. It's an interesting, interesting thing. And so you're, you're based in Houston, is that right? Yes, okay, and, and what is,
9:58
what is the world?
10:00
Out of ADHD
10:04
coaching, like in Houston. And the reason why I asked the question is, I've spoken to some other folks about
10:14
getting back to the Irish thing a little bit, but like about
10:18
how some people from some places will not address, like, they're against therapy, for example, like, I think of Texans as, like, you know, I mean, they're the most independent people of the of the country, probably with, like, the every stereotypical sort of Texan thing, unless you're from Austin, and in which case, you're just weird and also, really cool. I love Austin.
10:43
Am I? Am I? I don't know. Are you following my train of thought? Here I am, for sure.
10:50
Tell me about that. Like, do you find Texans less likely to take like, psychological concerns, therapy, anything like that? Do they do? They tend to take it more seriously, less at all. Is it kind of the same? You know, I would argue. And this is, this is just my opinion. I don't have any evidence to back this up, but I almost view it as, from my experience, it seems to be more of a generational thing to a certain degree.
11:25
It seems like those who are in, you know, certainly I think it's probably being diagnosed. ADHD is probably being diagnosed more in children now than it might have been and in females. But I think really, that population that's in their 20s, that's in their 30s,
11:43
they seem, on the whole just so open to trying things a different way and learning more about the ADHD and learning how to work with it, whereas some of the older individuals that I talk to
12:00
don't necessarily recognize that ADHD, and I'm sure some of it has to do with the stereotypes that we've grown up with, and ADHD really becoming something that's been diagnosed more often and that we've learned more about in the last 10 to 20 years. And you know, it's one of those things if, even if you have ADHD, if it's not brought to your attention, like your reality is
12:26
your semblance, I guess, of normal, right? I mean, you don't know life any other way. And
12:34
that was another huge, you know,
12:38
I think aha moment or so, eye opening when I did start taking medication. And you know, I'm not trying to hype up medication by any sense, but I was one of the ones.
12:51
I'm very grateful that medication has helped me and just given me more room to address some of what's not working with the ADHD and the executive function skills?
13:03
Yeah, I've, I've found, I've certainly found that to be helpful as well. Tell me about the you know you're, you're studying your master's in Positive Coaching, right? Or in an athletic leadership how does that play into into what you're doing now.
13:24
Well, I have really embraced the strengths approach to managing ADHD, and I don't even like that word managing, but learning how your brain works and
13:39
being okay without giving yourself permission to try things in a different way and figure out what works for you and doing that. So I think with a positive psychology, there is so much emphasis on positive emotions and being engaged and positive relationships and doing things that are meaningful and achieving and accomplishing things that you want to, and those are, I mean, to me, that is a perfect, I want to say trifecta, but I realize there's five components of that, yeah, but it is such a key part in
14:17
helping Those ADHD symptoms to kind of disappear or not be as present. It's easier. It's
14:27
I'm stumbling. No, no, you're good. It's an easier way to access or we're coming from a place where it's easier to access what comes naturally for us, who we really are,
14:40
and
14:42
those ADHD symptoms that might give us might trip us up in other areas just disappear. Yeah, that's interesting. It's to me. You know, I was just diagnosed. I'm absolutely still learning the ropes and but I've done like a lot of different.
15:00
Personality assessments over the years and in all sorts of activities to try to, you know, quote, unquote, kind of find myself and, you know, figure out my strengths, my weaknesses. You know what I should do when I grow up.
15:14
Still try to figure that out. Yeah. So tell me, and the one you use is via, right, via character strengths. Is that? Right? Yes. Okay, so yeah, well, I know that's right, because you sent me one before the call
15:29
and and so I did the test and submitted the results to you.
15:36
What, what did? What made them? Did they stand out to you at all? What were your thoughts,
15:41
I'm curious to to ask you some questions about them before I I guess really for my thought, because now I'm honestly more curious than anything else, okay, but Okay, can I give a little bit of background information about the via, yes, please, please. Okay,
16:01
so when I say character strengths, they're essentially defined as our capacity to think, feel and behave that represents, essentially the essence of who we are or our most authentic selves, and they're a way for us to demonstrate or kind of live out our values or what's most important to us. They were developed by a group of more than 50 researchers over a span of, I think, two or three years who were trying to come up with a universal way to talk about the best parts of who we all are as humans. And they looked at things like religions around the world, different cultures, philosophies, psychology, and wound up coming up with 24 core character strengths, and they determined that all humans possess all of these strengths and different intensities. However, the interesting thing is, depending on what our values are, and the context that we're in, or the environment that we're in will demonstrate different strengths, or we'll see different strengths that are exhibited.
17:10
So typically, the top five to seven character strengths, after taking the via are what are called your signature strengths, and those are the strengths that resonate most with you, in terms of, like I mentioned, that essence of who you are, they're important
17:28
to your values. Typically, you you wouldn't be the same person if you didn't have that strength, or if you weren't able to exhibit that strength.
17:39
You know, all these years like I've I've come to to understand myself quite well, my strengths and things like that, from, you know, all sorts of different activities, both, you know, more like everything, from like, you know, kind of just fun personality assessments, to like more like, you know, therapy and things like that that are obviously more more science, science based. But like doing and journaling and, you know, all these different exercises pre diagnosis that I got a pretty good handle of who I am, my my strengths and my weaknesses,
18:13
but now I sometimes think knowing what I know now about ADHD and ADHD symptoms that certainly play into my strengths and my weaknesses. It makes me wonder sometimes, like, how much I am ADHD versus how much I am like Dave or Dave, you know what I mean. It makes me wonder like, yeah, I don't know any thoughts on that. It's kind of weird, weird question, but I think I know what you're saying, and I feel like that's one of those things that makes ADHD so interesting, right? Is sometimes those what,
18:52
what society terms are, you know, what we largely term as
18:56
symptoms or challenges. In other contexts, they're virtually eliminated or non existent, right? So interestingly, some of the benefits of strengths, if you don't mind my sharing, yeah, are increased focus, accomplishment, sense of fulfillment, work satisfaction and engagement, self esteem, positive emotions, energy. So they're things that actually give us energy, instead of using up energy, typically areas of interest, they help us manage our stress. So especially that interest in that positive emotion piece. I mean, I you know, I hope you heard a number of executive functions come up in there with the the focus and the self esteem and some of the things that we naturally struggle with, with ADHD, and again, it's it's like leaning into these character strengths, we are able to effortlessly, or more or less effortlessly, express who we are and be our authentic selves in.
20:00
And we don't see those ADHD symptoms in the same way that we would in areas where we're not as interested or that aren't a strength, but don't come naturally for us. That makes sense. And I think I heard a couple of things in there too, that I'm curious to probe a little bit more about, because I think even in your sharing that right about taking some of the different personality tests and having a good idea of who you are.
20:25
That right there, I think speaks to the strength of honesty and your ability to look at yourself in an honest manner and reflect on who you are. But,
20:37
yeah, yeah, yeah, because I yeah, I mean, I've, I've, you know, I've been working for myself for about 1112, years now. And I even I, you know, as I've been plugging on the podcast, I created a new keynote presentation that I'm doing now about my diagnosis with ADHD, but also about. It's not just about that. It's about, you know, really just finding yourself. And it's very much a motivational funny presentation about it's partly about ADHD, certainly, but it's also for anyone of any background. And I go through some exercises and tools and tips and things to to better understand themselves in part and and so part of that is my sharing the results of my own, Myers, Briggs and cliftonstrengths and disc and predictive index and anagram. And it's, it's really fascinating to see, and the one that you sent me here via, it's interesting to see the commonalities between the results of all of these because they are quite, quite clear. So it's kind of kind of cool that way. But yeah, let's dig into my results. Okay, so can we start with because, of course, this is a survey, right, and your opinion is always going to trump what the survey says. But do you mind if we go through your strengths and just identify those that you would determine are your true signature strengths? Sure. Okay, so the first one was humor. Yes,
22:27
yeah,
22:28
so you would say then that humor is core or essential to who you are.
22:33
No, I'm extremely serious all the time. So
22:39
apparent,
22:41
yeah? So yeah, no humor. Humor is spot on everything, I mean, even
22:48
not just in my own, you know, personality, which it certainly is there, but everything from like being a class clown in school,
22:59
which now I think, okay. Also untreated ADHD, hello. But then also, you know, I studied improv comedy with Second City and Toronto, and studied their whole program. And then I've performed improv all across many different countries, even, and taught many people communication skills, using fundamentals from improv comedy. And then, in addition to that, last year, because a lot of what the work I do is a keynote speaker. And so I've always been naturally a big fan of stand up comedy and and really, I mean, if you want to learn presentation skills, the stand up comics are among the best people to observe and note and study, and so last year, I did six open mics in six weeks for the first time ever the stand up comedy so long winded way of answering your question, but yes, humor is definitely, definitely up there well, and lots of evidence of that. So that's great. Yeah,
24:03
fairness was the second one. What? What are your thoughts on fairness? Does it feel like something that's essential to who you are?
24:14
Yeah, for sure, part of that, you know, the underlying word there is justice, right on those results, and certainly I do believe in in treating people equally and in fairness, absolutely. So yeah, and I get pretty angry when I see,
24:35
when I see unfairness in the world or injustice, I guess I should say
24:40
absolutely.
24:42
That makes a lot of sense. There's been, I guess, some informal conversations that have been had,
24:51
and fairness definitely seems to be one of those character strengths that shows up with a greater prevalence in the population that has ADHD.
25:00
For whatever reason, like we're we're rooting for the underdog, and I feel like, especially for those of us who've been diagnosed later in life, there's just that real call, like you said, to kind of write things right and ensure that
25:15
things are treated in a fair manner. Yeah, yeah.
25:20
All right, I know I kind of went against my own quote, unquote rules and shared my opinion on this one already, but what do you what do you think about honesty? Does it feel definitive of you as a person? Yeah, honesty is the best policy, as the kids say. I have no idea if the kids say that. They should say that, but yes, yeah, absolutely. I'm very transparent in I mean, it was part of the reason why I started, why squirrels is I wanted to openly share what I was experiencing in my own discovery of my ADHD. So I mean, really, this podcast, the blog, the website, like the newsletter, it's all you know, me trying to share what I'm learning and doing so in a transparent and honest manner. So, yeah, I mean, it completely fits. Yeah, it totally fits.
26:21
I'm curious, do you have somebody who you consider to be a model or a mentor for honesty? Hmm,
26:30
that's a good question. I guess my wife, without ever really thinking about that,
26:36
uh, that aspect of it. But, I mean, trust me, she's painfully honest.
26:44
No, I think, yeah. I mean,
26:48
it's funny with my wife, because, like, I remember going to, like, buy a car a lot, or I was something expensive a long time ago, and I had a haggle, and I actually like haggling, and I got that from my dad, who also likes haggling or like, tagling, I guess, and she hated it, and she's just like, Why can't people just, like, be like, This is how much the thing is really worth. Do you want to buy it? You know, yes or no. Like, why do you have to do all this back and forth? So? So of course, our last cars were all bought at Carmax, right? So you got the sticker price, you know, there's no haggling. There's no, you know, straight up, this is, this is the deal. But, yeah, so, so I suppose I would say my wife is, is very honest.
27:38
Forgiveness was the next one, does forgiveness feel like a core part of who you are?
27:45
Yeah, it took me a long time to realize to learn sort of
27:50
forgiveness. But absolutely, I think, yeah. I think that is my dad and I had a falling out many years ago, which resulted in us not talking for
28:02
at least a year. It was probably a couple years while I was quite young and and I finally just decided, like, wasn't so much forgiveness as it was just like, well, he invited me out for a beer. And I was like, he's never invited me for a beer before. I mean, I used to steal his beers, but,
28:25
and so we went out and had a beer together, and it was like the first time in a long time that we had kind of, kind of patched things up and forgave one another. So, so, yeah, yeah, I'm forgiving.
28:41
That's that's very neat, and I like to that I I'm hearing, you know, it doesn't mean that you forget everything that's happened, right? But you accept those shortcomings. And, you know that feeling of, I don't want
28:56
to say it unfair, but that's what's coming to mind first, right? And and going with it. I mean, just recognizing that we're all human. We all make mistakes, um, and,
29:06
yeah, just letting it go and moving on. Yeah, life's too short, you know? I mean, I, I'll be the first to admit, like, I'm not a saint by any means. You know, I, I have some grudges. I don't know if I have really big grudges or anything, but, you know, yeah, there's certainly, like, people have, I've been burned before, and I'm like, All right, but
29:28
yeah, so I'm not, like, I'm not a chump or something, you know what I mean,
29:33
you know?
29:34
But yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah, totally playing it, forgiving.
29:39
What about kindness? That was your next one?
29:44
Yeah, so, I mean, I developed something I call the nice method, and with my business, with future forth, which is my, you know, my core business,
29:53
I do presentations and workshops and training on communication skills and all that kind of fits into.
30:00
A framework around something I call the nice method, which is really about, ultimately, yeah, just improving the way you treat other people in that keynote presentation that I do now about my ADHD,
30:13
one point I make in it is about the value of understanding, of understanding yourself, but also
30:24
respecting yourself and loving yourself. And so I've always been a big fan of, you know, the old golden rule of just treat people the way you want to be treated, you know, and that gets into being nice and being kind. However, the caveat there that I discovered in in creating this presentation, that's, that's my newest one, is if you don't treat yourself well, or if you treat yourself poorly, then you know, if I say, treat people the way you want to be treated, and you don't care how people treat you or how you treat yourself, then
31:03
it kind of negates on the whole goal and rule thing. So getting back to kindness, I think it's important to focus not just on the good you can do, but also on how you treat yourself.
31:15
I love that aspect and that you that you mentioned that so important.
31:21
What about curiosity? Does it feel like a central part of who you are?
31:26
Yeah, I mean, I love learning. I'm I really do love learning. I've I read mainly nonfiction, not to say, I mean, fiction, obviously, is important, but
31:40
I'm and I listen. I've been, you know, I listen a ton of different podcasts and audiobooks and and all that stuff. So, you know, and I like the fact that the the word under curiosity is wisdom. And, you know, that fits perfectly into why squirrels? Because that's obviously where the wise comes from. It's, it's from our our age and our experiences in life. You know, being a late diagnosed adult with ADHD, it's, you know, you've come this far and you've had successes and so forth. So absolutely, yeah, being curious about things is is important, because that's how we keep learning as well. Absolutely, yep, being open to try new things and yeah, absolutely love it.
32:30
Social intelligence, being able to read other people. What do you think about that? One? Does that feel like a central part of who you are? Absolutely, you know, I wrote a book called New Business Networking several years ago.
32:46
And I've always had a deep,
32:51
a deep
32:53
caring, really, for networking and do but doing it the right way, like not the icky networking events where you, you know, got paper cuts from people whipping business cards in your face,
33:04
or that you just want to, like, go wash your hands and shower and just you feel gross afterwards, because it was just icky, not like that. But, yeah, I think, I think when you're networking, you need to be able to read body language. It's something I speak about a little bit, and just understanding different personalities and and approaching life more empathetically, as well as a big, a big part of this too. And so, yeah, so social intelligence totally fits, okay, and I'm hearing some curiosity in there too, even as you're talking about the networking and kind of how you approach different situations, absolutely, yeah. I mean, with the questions I ask people, but also, you know, with my, you know, I mean, I write and talk a lot about the the importance of listening, of using active listening, and using those skills. So, yeah. So that taps into both of those.
34:04
So if I were to read through the list of of what we've potentially identified as your signature strengths, the humor, the fairness, the golden rule, honesty, forgiveness, letting it go, kindness and applying that to yourself, curiosity and social intelligence, what thoughts or emotions come to mind for you?
34:33
Well, certainly you know validation,
34:39
what
34:40
I find that's interesting with you know, personality assessments like this is
34:47
that they don't normally reveal something you don't already know about yourself, even if you've never done one before. It's not like any of this is a surprise to me.
35:00
Me. But what's great about personality assessments, in my opinion, like this, is they they confirm
35:07
what you know about yourself, or maybe they remind you of things that you know about yourself, but maybe for whatever reason you you haven't been focused on or thinking about or tapping into. And so yeah, I think it's, it's, it's a nice way of, you know, confirming and reminding yourself about your strengths.
35:30
Absolutely, I can ditto everything that you just said.
35:35
I think it's, you know, it's, it's neat that with the via character strengths, if something is lower for you, and you kind of, you kind of talked around this, I think, a minute ago, but it's not that it's not a strength of yours. It's maybe something that you don't value as much as you might value some of the other strengths, or something
36:00
that you've forgotten about, right? And so
36:03
being reminded of these character strengths can help you just be more intentional about how you want to show up and making sure that your actions and your values are in alignment, yeah,
36:18
and there's 24 it's 24
36:22
strengths, right? That it produces in a list from one to 24 and so would I assume that 24 is like the bottom of the list for me? Right? Yes, okay, yeah. So that's interesting, because, yeah, like, if I look at my list, like 24 is perseverance,
36:41
and when I think about
36:44
myself and like finishing some projects and things, I have a tough time sometimes, you know, finishing things. And
36:56
I find that's interesting because that's also like a big trait of ADHD, and then like,
37:04
well, there's prudence and humility and self regulation. I mean, self regulation is an interesting one. In my opinion. It really stands out too as a sort of further down the list that that coming in at 21
37:20
but self regulation, I mean having I used to like drink a lot. I would smoke a lot, like when I smoking cigarettes 20 plus years ago, 25 years ago, or whatever, and I quit drinking like three years ago. But even like eating food and snacking, but then again, when I learn about and coffee, well, that's my weak spot. But
37:42
again, when you the more I learn about ADHD, I'm like, Oh, well, I don't have any dopamine. And so it totally makes sense that untreated ADHD would result in many people, not everybody, of course, but many people, including myself, to have that sort of addictive
38:02
personality where you eat too much or you smoke too much or drink too much, or whatever it is. And you know, even growing up, my dad was a bit of an alcoholic, and drank like a fish and but he drank like scotch and whiskey and heavier alcohol potencies. And I knew to always stick to beer and kind of avoid hard liquor. And then I knew people who, you know, kind of growing up, going to a lot of, like concerts and and different scenes. You know, I always I saw people doing, like hard drugs, or people that I knew, and I knew myself, my own personality, like pot, sure, whatever, but I'd stay the hell away from anything more more addictive. Or, you know, or not to say pots addictive, but you know what I mean, like trying to avoid hard drugs, because I knew, like, if I ever tried heroin, you know, I would be dead within a week. So
39:03
I guess there was some elements of self regulation, as far as knowing my boundaries and avoiding some things, but as far as, like, you know, alcohol or smoking, or, you know, beer or whatever. Yeah, so self regulation is interesting too. It definitely is. And you know, it's typically not always, but it's generally in the bottom strengths for everybody. So not just those with ADHD, but everybody. And you know, it's, you mentioned a couple of things in there too. It's interesting for me with food, that it can also be a form of stimulation. And, you know, so it's not necessarily all about that dopamine, but just looking for, looking for ways to entertain ourselves and keep ourselves engaged.
39:54
And then with the with the drinking and with the drugs, I think it's 50 to 60 per.
40:00
Percent of is it of people with ADHD have had a history of a substance abuse issue. I mean, the the relationship between ADHD and substance abuse is incredibly high, and I think for a lot of people, it's a form of self medicating, right, right? Yeah,
40:17
just trying to to manage the symptoms, if you you know, without that understanding of what's going on behind the scenes, so to speak, right, right, right in the brain, it's funny with the pleasure of eating too. Because, to your point, I actually, we were my family and I were in a little village in Portugal, and we found this little local, you know, ma and pa restaurant, and we were staying at an Airbnb there for a few nights. We ended up going, the food was so good that we ended up going back the second night. And then we saw this, like British family sitting there, and I commented to them, I said, didn't we see you last night? And they're like, it's our fourth night here.
41:01
And we went back like another night as well. But my kids and even my wife kind of made fun of me, because, like, each time I was eating there it was like, I I almost wept. It was like, like, just so good. And of course, they're like, you're just the cheesiest person we've ever met, which is fair, that's true.
41:22
But man, that food was so good. So anyway, well, I'm, I'm curious too. So when you're
41:30
when you are able to use your strengths, so when you're able to lead into that humor and that fairness and being honest and whatnot,
41:38
if you think about the effort that's involved in doing that.
41:42
How much effort do you feel like those things take?
41:45
I'm sorry, how much effort does it take to be which to be funny, or to be fair or to be honest, to express any of those signature strengths? No, it's just, it's it's more difficult not to be funny. Makes complete sense, and just further proof that, you know, definitely sounds like one of your strengths, yeah, yeah, it's, you know, like there's a time and a place. Dave,
42:11
I've heard that a time or two in my life, so, yeah, now this is, this is really fascinating, and I want to make sure that folks reach out to you, to, you know,
42:23
to learn more about, you know, the the coaching you do. And I think with, you know, with, as I said, like, I think even though, even though test like assessments like this, you know, are not like prop like, they're not formally scientific, I think they, they, they complement the science behind the research into, you know, different personality types, or different like, or different neurologically speaking. I mean, you know, as far as like, neurodiverse Minds, Like like mine. So it's interesting because it's all kind of plays. It seems to play a part into, yeah, the overall operating system. So it's, it's pretty fascinating.
43:07
Absolutely, I love that it gives us with the strengths. It gives us the choices to what strengths we want to engage with, and if we want to develop a strength a little bit more, yeah, you know, we can practice and develop that strength. I think that's really empowering. Yeah, totally. So, Chris, how can people learn more about what you do and get a hold of you? Because I want to be mindful of our time here. So absolutely. So my website is a great place to go to connect at coach can llc.com,
43:41
or
43:43
I
43:46
sorry, I don't know why.
43:48
Let's get tripped up on the easy part.
43:52
Email is perfect, too. My email is Chris at coach can llc.com,
43:58
so either one of those work I am currently doing one on one coaching for adults with ADHD, or adults who suspect that they might have ADHD. There's no need to be formally diagnosed, but just taking more agency and investigating who you are and making sure that's how you want to show up, and creating that life that you most want for yourself. And then I'm I'm also going to be doing some strengths classes where we'll be looking at ways to learn more about our strengths and find evidence of those strengths and practice using them more and more to benefit with all those benefits that we mentioned, the improved focus and feeling good with who we are and how we're showing up in our lives. I love it. I love it. Well, this has been so much fun. Thank you so much, and thanks for doing the assessment. And, yeah, sharing the results with me. It was interesting to kind of walk through that stuff. So yeah, I loved it absolutely. I.
45:00
Enjoyed it, too. Thank you.
