PODCAST. Dave Delaney Late-Diagnosed Adult with ADHD Interview.

Jan 31

Written By Dave

ADHD Discovery: A Conversation with Dave Delaney by Erik Fisher.

In the world of ADHD awareness, understanding the challenges and triumphs faced by adults with ADHD is essential. In a recent interview conducted by Erik Fisher, the host of the Beyond the To-Do List podcast, Our very own Chief Wise Squirrel, Dave Delaney, shared his journey as a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD. Tune in as Erik and Dave delve into their own diagnosis stories and how they handled their respective ADHD news.

Discovering ADHD Later in Life:

One of the focal points of the interview was Dave Delaney's experience of being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and sobriety. Late-diagnosed individuals often face unique challenges as they navigate life without the awareness of their neurodivergence. Delaney's story highlights the importance of understanding oneself and addiction and seeking a diagnosis and treatment, even in adulthood.

Navigating the Maze of ADHD Symptoms:

ADHD is a complex neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by symptoms such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and difficulty sustaining attention. Delaney's discussion with Fisher touched upon how these symptoms manifested in his life and the strategies he developed to cope before his diagnosis. By sharing personal anecdotes, the interview brings attention to the multifaceted nature of ADHD symptoms and their impact on daily life.

Unveiling Coping Mechanisms:

Throughout the conversation, Delaney discussed the coping mechanisms he unknowingly developed over the years to manage the challenges posed by ADHD. From stimming to unconsciously finding ways to generate dopamine, Delaney's journey highlights the adaptive nature of individuals with ADHD. This section of the interview delves into the importance of recognizing and understanding these coping strategies.

Reflections on ADHD and Communication:

Communication skills are integral, especially for individuals with ADHD who may encounter challenges in this domain. Delaney and Fisher explored the impact of ADHD on communication and relationships. The interview provides insights into the potential hurdles faced by adults with ADHD in expressing themselves and the importance of open communication in personal and professional spheres.

Embracing ADHD as a Unique Superpower:

As the conversation progressed, Delaney touched upon the concept of ADHD as a unique superpower. While acknowledging the difficulties, he expressed gratitude for the ability to bring a different perspective to problem-solving and creative endeavors like writing, public speaking, and his ADHD podcast for adults. Together, they celebrate the positive aspects of ADHD and encourage a shift in societal perceptions toward neurodiversity.

Erik Fisher’s interview with our Dave Delaney provides a valuable narrative for late-diagnosed adults with ADHD and those seeking to understand the intricacies of neurodivergence. By exploring topics such as coping mechanisms, coaching, and the positive aspects of ADHD, the conversation contributes to a broader conversation on ADHD awareness and acceptance.

We thank Erik for allowing us to share his Beyond the To-Do List interview with Dave on ADHD Wise Squirrels.

0:09
Welcome to wise squirrels, a podcast for late diagnosed adults with ADHD. I'm your host, Dave Delaney. This week, I've got something different for you. So if this is your first episode, you may want to listen to one of the earlier episodes this week, I am going to share an interview that the one and only Eric Fisher did with me your chief why squirrel. So Eric is the host of the awesome beyond the to do list podcast, which I highly recommend you check out and Eric like you probably he's also a why squirrel. And so we talk a lot about my own journey and how the why squirrels was born in the first place and a heck of a lot more. So sit back and relax and enjoy why squirrels featured on beyond the to do list.
1:06
This week. I was excited to welcome back to the show Dave Delaney. He's no stranger to me. He's a friend of mine. But also he's a digital marketing, social media strategy, keynote speaker on business networking, also an author, a veteran podcaster. In fact, he's got a brand new show called ADHD wise squirrels, which is a great resource, it's really taking off. And that's why I wanted to bring him back because I knew he had this great new project. And before we get into his adult ADHD diagnosis, we talk briefly about his sobriety journey that he started just before the last time he was on the show. We talked about the why and the how of that and how he has kept that going. And then we jump into again, his adult ADHD diagnosis, and then awareness that that brought him in the first steps for treatment that he's gone through and honestly ongoing things he's learned in his journey. So far talking with other experts on his ADHD wise squirrels podcast, we also talk about how ADHD manifests differently for different people, the connections it has with anxiety and depression. And ultimately, this conversation is about noticing signs and giving you permission to be okay with checking if you or someone you know, is struggling with this but may not know it. So let's get into this conversation with Dave Delaney. Well, this week, it is my privilege to welcome back to the show Dave Delaney. Dave, welcome back to beyond the to do list.
2:39
Thank you, sir. It's a pleasure to be back. It's great to reconnect.
2:44
Let's see. So you've been on the show. I don't know how many times I should probably start doing homework. No, I know what I'm doing. I didn't think too, because it's like, who cares if it's three or four times it's at least three or four times. And we known each other for a very long time. And you've been on the show a number of times, we've talked about a number of different topics, networking multiple times. And what's funny is, I think the last time you were just then starting to or barely had gone sober during the pandemic. And then also, we're talking about distractions and things. irony, in some ways, says, you know, people who've listened to the intros know, we're talking about ADHD today. But before we go there, let's do a sobriety check. Are you sober right now? No, no, you are? It's dry January, but also how is that going? Like? Let's talk about that again. Let's do like couple minute quick revisit, because I think it bleeds into the ADHD journey. Yeah,
3:38
no, I totally does. Yes, I am still sober. I quit drinking for 30 days in June of 2020. And I discovered delicious non alcoholic beers. And I'm like, Ah, well, these are pretty good. So I started drinking those when I would partake with friends. And then I kept finding these good non alcoholic beers. We took a trip to Europe, and we were in Brussels. We're in Bruges or in Belgium, rather and Bruce. And I'm like, I'm just gonna stick with non drinking, still not drinking alcohol. So I drink the non alcoholic beers there, which were stellar, of course. And then after that, I'm like, Well, now that I've been to the place in the world that has the best beer and I didn't drink the beer, the regular beer, the alcoholic beer. I'm like, Well, what the hell's the point of, you know, like, I'm not gonna, like, start drinking again, just to drink like, you know, some crappy beer here or something not to say I mean, there's plenty of good beers. So yeah, so yeah, 30 days became 60 became 90 and I just celebrated like 1200 days. It'll be four years this June. Great.
4:56
I'm glad to hear it, you know, and partly people that are listening to The show regularly no I had a recent episode with Jillian teats, her brand is so overpowered and we talked about preparing for dry January and her journey and so I thought, you know, we got to bring it up. I mean it's, it's part of who you are and a lot of ways I really admire you making that step at a time where I know I was doing the opposite and a lot of the world was to and that you've stuck with it and so I mean have you found clarity you know, you've probably found some weight loss obviously well to a certain extent cuz you're still drinking non alcoholic and they'll still have calories but the alcohol has probably not weighed you down as much right?
5:38
Oh, yeah, I've definitely been able to feel clearer sleep much better. Those are probably the two main things but then like even and you know, as you know, as we get older, like you have a one too many beers or whatever that you're drinking with friends and like, Man, I'm 50 now like those hangovers lasts like a frickin week. Like it's my wife still drinks, but not very often. She's kind of a lightweight, but she'll have like a vodka with friends. And then the next like day, she's like, Oh, why did I do that? Like, what is wrong with? You know, so? Yeah, the lack of hangovers certainly has been great. My friends love me, because I'm always the designated driver now.
6:22
Love it.
6:24
Yeah, you know, I'm still I'm still waiting for some non alcoholic brewery to be like Dave, influencer. Let's go. Because yeah, God knows I preach a lot about all the wonderful brands of non alcoholic beers.
6:37
I'm really looking forward to the next time, it's been way too long. I can't remember when it was. Honestly, I think it was pre pandemic, since I've been, I think it was 2019, late 2019 That I was down in Nashville area where you are. So we haven't had the chance to go have a non alcoholic drink together. So I'm looking forward to that at some point here soon. This year. Let's do it this year, I will make it happen. So I'm on board. But I can't help but think that you going through that step first allows you to think even in a subconscious level, something about some of your other thought patterns, tendencies, etc. Do you think that played a part in starting to inch towards not just from maybe your wife and maybe your own internal subconscious, when it came to ADHD? Let's talk about how you discovered slash decided to, you know, what was your journey? Like pre? And then what was the catalyst moment, if you can remember it, you know, super clearly or whatever. But when it comes to your ADHD, okay, I'm going to get tested. I'm going to get diagnosed.
7:37
Yeah, great question. So actually, this would be the moment when I shamelessly plug, ADHD wise squirrels, which is, of course, being a veteran podcaster and an ADHD er, I'm like, oh, I need to start a podcast and share my journey and my story and also interview experts and you know, high achievers with ADHD on the show. So yeah, obviously, I jumped at the opportunity to do that. And it's been fantastic. So to go back to your question, 2020 was not the year that I was diagnosed, but it was just such a big year of stress, both from just the political climate. I mean, obviously, it was just kind of a terrible time then with police violence. And you know, black lives matter. All of these
8:32
lots of factors. Yeah. I mean, the pandemic itself, the ones you just mentioned. And at that point, we didn't know, we had no thoughts or inklings of any kind of vaccine anytime soon. So right, right, totally get it.
8:44
So my year started January 2020. You know, things were looking really great. I do a lot of presentations as a keynote speaker. And so things were going really well. And I was working with Google as a speaker for Google for five years. So January was great. February was like, What's going on here, I started hearing rumblings about COVID, march 2020, the world shut down. But in addition to all the stress and things that were going on, at that time, I decided to make a few different changes. One of them was that my wife and I decided to start seeing a virtual fitness coach because we knew we needed to be exercising more, in part to build our immune systems and just to make sure that we were making healthy choices, but then in March of 2020, a tornado blew through Nashville and destroyed my kids school and, you know, for a friend's house and it was just an extremely, you know, add that to the stress. Fast forward from March 2020 to May 2020. We get another storm. It's a direct show, which it's a straight line windstorm, you know, 70 mile an hour winds. And that one kicked us out of our house. We had to move out of our house for three months because we lost seven trees. We had 10 holes in our roof, a branch like shish kebab, my roof and attic right in my living room. So then my job was as a speaker, not speaking a lot, because not a lot of opportunities to go and speak places. So my business was in a rough way. So I had a lot of stress with that, plus this kid school plus the pandemic, plus now dealing with the insurance and contractors, and that was a nightmare. And so three months of living out of our house and dealing with that, I say all that because at that time, I started drinking a little too much. And I was like, Okay, I need to take 30 days off. And that's when we got to that June of 2020. This is a long winded way of answering your question, but I swear I'm landing the plane. Now. Fast forward to 2023. Last year, I joined a mastermind with two friends. And one I know very well the other I didn't know. And we you know, we started meeting weekly to discuss our businesses. And the one I didn't know very well sends me a text out of the blue one day and says, Dude, do you have ADHD? And I said, No. And he said, I think you do. And you need to go see your doctor. And he has ADHD. So he saw it in me. And I was like, okay, so I went to see my doctor. And there's a longer version of this story. But the short version, I'm happy to share that too. But the short version is he diagnosed me with ADHD then that's kind of how I got to this point. The longer version is actually I was, I saw a psychologist in 2016, who apparently diagnosed me with ADHD, but for some reason, I did not get the memo. And so when I saw my doctor last year, he looked at my charts. And he was like, Oh, I mean, I did some questionnaires and things with him. And then he looked up my charts in his computer. And he's like, Oh, Dave, he's like, Yeah, back in 2016. It looks like you're a candidate for ADHD. And I'm like, Okay, well, you know, What's five years and 50, you know, of being diagnosed a little later than plan. So that's where we are.
12:14
I think it's hilarious to hear that you were but didn't even know you were because you say you missed the memo. That's so ADHD.
12:23
I know. And I mentioned it to my wife. And she's like, well, and to your point, like my wife, who's a school teacher, and who is obviously, you know, teaches children and of all types. You know, she said it multiple times over the years and distress a stressful year in 2016. And that led to going to see the psychologist and also my wife was like, I think you have ADHD. So last year was a stressful one as well. And as was 2020, obviously, for all the reasons discussed. So yeah, I was diagnosed last year at 50,
12:56
which that in and of itself, it's one of those things where it's like, actually, I should probably add him here. I also have it, I also have been diagnosed. Now, when I was diagnosed, I think it was the summer of 2005. So here we are almost 20 years in. And my journey is a little bit different. But yeah, I think that being diagnosed as an adult, especially, you know, further up in yours, not that we're ancient. But it's one of those things where it's like, well, it may change the way that you look at yourself. You may think, no, I don't have it, you may hesitate to even approach the diagnosis or seeking it out. Because you think that can't be right. How can it have been true this whole time, but me not know it? I mean, did you have any of that doubt? I mean, you had a couple of people that were kind of pointing it out. But
13:43
yeah, no, I didn't, partly because it will be on the people pointing it out. And the more than I learned of ADHD, I'll be clear to share some of the things that I've been learning. Obviously, with everybody, like for example, you know, ADHD shows differently in different people. So that's an important point, because some of the symptoms may be different. Also, things like anxiety and depression are comorbidities and I didn't know that word before.
14:14
I explain that because I think some people may not know what that means.
14:17
Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, they're basically and I could be butchering it. But my understanding is they're sort of symptoms of ADHD or they can be symptoms. So if you've been diagnosed with anxiety, for example, another thing in 2020, because of all the stresses, I was seeing an online therapist, but they were not a psychologist or psychiatrist, so they couldn't diagnose me with anything. But she thought that I was suffering from anxiety, which was accurate, and some depression more heavier on the anxiety, the anxiety she got right for sure. And that is something that I've explored more this year. But again, these are things that could be caused By the ADHD as well. So yeah, it's been a great revelation. But to answer your question, yeah. So my mom kept all my old report cards, and I had them in a box in my closet. And after the diagnosis, I got it down, and my wife and I read through them and laughed our heads off when reading the comments from the teachers. And you know, just how clear that I was like, oh my god, it's so obvious that I had ADHD and still have it. Of course, that's another thing I wanted to point out to you that I've learned is ADHD isn't something you develop? It is something you I'm still struggling with the term and you've had it longer. Maybe you would have some insight here. I struggle with the word like having ADHD, you know what I mean? Like, like
15:53
a label? Yeah, it's hard to it's not even.
15:57
It's not even the ADHD, it's, it's the half part. It's like, it's not a virus. It's not. It's like I I am ADHD instead of I have ADHD, you know what I mean? Like, right, you're born that way. So yeah. But anyway, yeah. And
16:12
no, this is the wrong way to look at it. I guess the way that I've looked at it for so long, is that it's part of my personality. And that's just how it is. And, you know, take it or leave it. That's how I have to treat myself. That's how others have to treat me. It's how I have to navigate the world. It's, if that's accurate or not, that's still how I personally look at it. I assume for you it kind of you said, I mean, you get out the report cards, it kind of retro actively changes your perspective on yourself and the world.
16:40
Yeah, certainly. Yeah. There's a lot there. Like, it's interesting, because if you're diagnosed as an adult, and again, I've been interviewing these experts and you know, kind of high achievers, like I interviewed Dr. Bob Dempsey, the former director of NASA's little operation called the International Space Station, you've probably never heard of it. But like, he was the director of the ISS for 16 years, and he was diagnosed with ADHD at 60 years old. And now he works with like blue horizon. So to answer your question, one of the biggest dangers I have found in having conversations and researching and reading and writing, and podcasting, and developing a new presentation and writing my new book, all about this stuff. One key area that I find important, among others, is the importance of not dwelling on the past in a negative way. So you know, a lot of people if you're diagnosed later in life, you might start thinking about all the what ifs, so the man if I'd known I have ADHD, as a kid, I could have been treated, I could have had medication, I could have had therapy, and and then I could have been someone, I could have been a contender. So you can easily go to dark places by doing that. But thankfully, if anything good came from 2020. I think it was all preparation ahead of 2023 for me to handle this diagnosis. So another thing I didn't mention, and it's something I've written a lot about is I started meditating, like a regular mindfulness and meditation practice in 2020. And it's something I dabbled with over the years. But it's something I finally started taking seriously for my own mental health during all that stress. And it's something I still do today. But again, part of that you learn about not thinking about too much about the past, or the future for that matter, but really focusing on the here and now the present. Okay,
18:46
so I know that you mentioned wise squirrels, your podcast and everything. You've talked with some great people, I want to jump into those lessons before we do some of those. I gotta ask, like, initially, you're thinking, Okay, I'm diagnosed. And now what do I do quick sidebar, my hope is people are listening to this conversation. And if they've had suspicions, they can check with others see what they think trusted, you know, accountability, people, friends, family, etc. Like you and I both have had happen, but then also maybe get away from a little bit of the anxiety, the depression, the guilt that they may be feeling, and really get checked and tested and diagnosed one way or the other to know how to progress forward. That is really my ultimate hope. I thought when I said, Let's talk to Dave, that was kind of my end outcome that I had in mind to that end. I hope that's what's happening right now. I hope people hear that and think, oh, Eric just gave me permission. And Dave echoed it.
19:43
Yeah, 100%. That's, I mean, that's the goal of why squirrels it's the goal of the presentation that I've developed called the route down, which I can tell you more about later. So there's a person and authority in the space who is now retired. but still YouTubing frequently and he's a gym. And his name is Dr. Russell Barkley and Dr. Russell Barkley is really, really outspoken well known in the ADHD community as like the guy or one of the people who's just such an expert. He's retired but he still does these YouTube videos all the time. What he does is he he reviews research, and then does YouTube videos disproving or proving or throwing people under the bus and with good reason, like Jordan Peterson, who is who's shared all sorts of misinformation, or maybe even disinformation about ADHD. And so he does such a good job with that I bring him up. There's also a great resource called adda, the attention deficit disorder Association, which we should also mention ADD and ADHD. That is the same thing. The acronym changed. We can talk about that. But it's it is the same thing. So if somebody says add ADHD, it's one in the same. But I mentioned Dr. Barkley, because the he's researched multiple studies and found that the average lifespan for somebody with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD is approximately 13 years or can be 13 years less than a neurotypical person, meaning somebody without ADHD, or somebody with ADHD that is receiving treatment for the ADHD. So it could be up to 13 years less. Wow, that's a big part of why I'm trying to remove stigmas and educate folks as well. So it's important,
21:39
it's really important. So you know, what were your thoughts when you first were diagnosed? And you know, so how do I proceed forward with treatment that's going to immediately help you but also, knowing then, okay, this is a journey, I'm going to learn more. And that's also partly where we go with the podcast and your guests. Yeah,
21:58
so at why squirrels.com, there is a free like assessment there, there's a link there, I don't see the results. So that's a good like starting point, if you're curious, and you want to do an assessment just to see. But regardless of what the outcome of that assessment, regardless of what it is, it can help you get an idea of maybe you have ADHD, but the most important thing is seeing a doctor. So going to see first your family doctor, probably, and then maybe a psychologist or a psychiatrist who can actually diagnose you or not. So you really have to go see, you know, a licensed doctor who can actually diagnose you to be able to receive a diagnosis. So as I said, like I was diagnosed in 2016. When I saw my doctor last year, he saw that in the system, and he also did some exercises and assessments with me. And we concluded Yes, in fact, I have ADHD. So your family doctor can prescribe meds? So he prescribed me some stimulants, that's a common thing for for ADHD or is or i By the way, I say why squirrels, because wise, it's for late diagnosed adults. So it's wise because of the wisdom we've earned in our lives, you know, dealing with not knowing we have ADHD, but still surviving and thriving. And then squirrel because, yes, exactly. in case anyone's wondering, yeah, so I went and saw my doctor, he prescribed me meds. And then we started going back and forth on changing the meds or updating the dosage kind of starting low and gradually getting higher, in order to get a better understanding of what might help me. What we concluded too, is that I wasn't really seeing the results that I wanted from that. So my doctor recommended a psychologist to meet with with a specialty in ADHD. And then she assessed and prescribed me a different medication, a different stimulant. And we went through sort of a trial and error, not error, but a trial, you know, the same sort of thing. Until we landed on something, though, before we did, we actually stopped and realized that we needed to treat my anxiety more first. And so we went back starting from scratch in a way with treating my anxiety. So now I'm on a medication for that and then reintroduce the stimulants, and now I'm in a much sweeter spot, still experimenting with the dosage of the stimulants, but that's kind of where I am. Now. That's great to hear.
24:38
And I think that's a really good example of one it manifests or exhibits in different ways. No diagnosis is the same as anybody I like. The way that our personalities are different is also the same way that the way that we have it exhibit itself, the symptoms. In other words, the way the symptoms show is going to be different and the way you treat them is different. It's not what under one, it's all different. And it's good to know that ahead of time. And I think that I can say to myself, or I can say, as far as myself, it was the same exact way. Yeah, I started on meds right away. It really wrecked my sleep, although part of that was probably that we had a sixth or seventh month preemie newborn in the house at that time. And that really didn't help either. And I kind of said, You know what, I'd rather just go off completely and come back round to it later. So that's a different journey, obviously. Yeah,
25:28
but you're right. I mean, there are certainly, I mean, it's not like ADHD is completely different for everybody, either. I mean, there are certainly commonalities. I mean, it is an acronym. Right. I should also add that a couple of different points. One is that women are being diagnosed, I guess, maybe with some more frequency now. And the reason why is because of our sexist history, not ours, Eric and I are not sexist. But the medical professional or industry where ADHD or ADD back in the day was always thought of as this naughty boy syndrome. It was a naughty boy thing. The boy was hyperactive, couldn't sit still in class goofed off constantly, I was a complete class clown. So it makes a lot of sense there. But they didn't think it was something that girls could have. Or they were too sexist to see it or whatever. Or
26:24
didn't even call the boys out on it in a way that it was just they Well, yeah, it was behavioral problems.
26:29
Yeah, exactly. True. So for girls, ADHD often shows differently in the sense that like, with the hyperactivity part, they're more mentally fixated on stuff, daydreaming out the window, playing with their hair, just that kind of thing, and not really jumping around out of their desks in the classroom. So it's less, it's less obvious or less apparent. So yeah, so everybody, you know, it doesn't matter, your gender or whatever,
26:58
I'll interject and say, That's how mine was. I was way more like what you just described, you know, playing with my hair when I had some. And, you know, one of the things my wife noticed once when we were first kind of dating was, I was kind of pushing my hair back over my ears, but there was no hair there, you know, that kind of undercut buzzed kind of look there. And he's like, Why do you keep moving your hair? And I just didn't think anything of it. But it was kind of like that,
27:25
right? So there's, there's like two categories. And again, to be clear, I'm not a doctor, right? So this is just the stuff I've learned. But there's two like main categories of ADHD. There's like the impulsive, hyperactive type. And then there's the inattentive, distractible type. And there's some commonalities. And again, it's not one size fits all or anything like that. But yeah, absolutely. So that's part of the reason why it was more, you know, kind of ignored or miss and a lot of girls. The other thing, too, is now that it's known as ADHD, and the H is hyperactivity as soon as I was diagnosed, and I've always been very transparent and open. And I don't know, I just like sharing my journey with people. So I wrote a blog post and posted on Facebook, hey, guess what, everybody have ADHD, I joke that I kind of like came out of the Mental Health closet, as it were. And I got all these messages from friends and people. And one person actually several said, you know, I thought I have ADHD, but I'm not hyperactive. And hyperactivity gets shown, it shows up differently, you know, in different types. But it also shows up differently in adults where you're not bouncing around the room. So two of the ways for me one, you'll be like, okay, and the other, you might think that sounds kind of weird. The first is like chewing your lips, chewing the inside of your mouth. I do that chronically, always have to the point at periods where I couldn't even go to sleep because I'm still chewing the inside of my mouth. And that's, you know, more common than we know. The other thing that's really weird, in a way is I love wearing soft T shirts, and always have loved the touch and feel of my soft T shirts. Not like someone else. I'm not gonna go and reach and touch your shirt. That's weird.
29:10
I mean, you have done that to meet before. Let's be honest. But
29:13
yeah, that's true. That is true. And I used to play with your hair as well. But so I do this thing where like, I'll like kind of touch my shirt. And I'll do it like under the table. And I'm not even thinking of doing it. Like I'm hiding it. I just do it that way. And my wife's always know, when she sees me doing it. She's like, I'm like, I don't know why I always do this. And I'm reading Dr. Tamara Rosie's book, your brains not broke. And that was the first book I read. I've since interviewed her on my podcast, by the way, and she's awesome. She's incredible. Tons of fun and just just great resource. But I interviewed her on my show. And I was telling her about this and she was just she was laughing. She's like, Yeah, that's an as I was reading her book, I told her I was like, Oh my God, that's that's totally me and I message Heather. She's like, Oh, like, I know, like this is part of the ADHD too. So anyway, just the hyperactivity thing can show up in different ways, not just like jumping around the room.
30:12
Yeah, it's definitely it's integrated into the senses and the sensory, you know, the way that you want to reach out to sense the world, but also the way that you actually sense the world coming at you is the best way I've kind of felt I can describe it myself.
30:26
Yeah. And something else that's interesting about ADHD is that so and again, not a scientist, but my understanding is that it affects your prefrontal cortex. This is where the front of your brain ultimately, and your dopamine receptors aren't as good as what you know, quote, unquote, neurotypical right, so somebody who doesn't have ADHD or other neurodiversity. And I say that because it's an interesting thing, because because of the lack of dopamine you're receiving, you crave it, and you try to find ways to produce it. So like, I interviewed Peter Shankman, who's, you know, a serial entrepreneur, popular digital marketing fellow, like, you know, kind of from our school, I guess, I've known Peter a long time. And he's written a couple books about ADHD has a great podcast as well. Now, luckily, he had a great exit from his company, HARO, that allowed him to afford the luxury of jumping out of planes. And he loves skydiving. And he's like, it's the ultimate dopamine rush. But with ADHD ears, or why squirrels, we are craving dopamine all the time. And I realized for me personally, as a keynote speaker, and you know, I perform improv and comedy and things. When I'm standing in front of a stage and I'm receiving feedback from the audience. They're laughing, and so on. I'm on cloud nine, I'm receiving a huge rush of dopamine. And I'm like, Ah, this is amazing. And it's this huge revelation for me that that is why I love to do what I do and why I love people and networking and meeting others. All of this stuff creates dopamine, for me, now I'm extroverted as well. But that really does help. Now, the flip side and what I mentioned earlier about your life expectancy, a big reason why people die earlier with untreated ADHD is because it's partly about like making poor choices being impulsive. So like, you know, you can result in a car accident that kills you. But addiction is another big factor, a big factor. And it's something that for me personally, you know, I used to drink like a fish back when I was in my 20s, and even younger, and when I would smoke, I would smoke like the entire pack. And again, I've quit smoking many decades ago. And when I drank it wasn't that like for me, it wasn't an addiction in the sense that like I had to drink. But it was more that if we went for a couple of beers, I would have a couple more beers. So there was this joke. My wife always tease me about how excessive I am. So this lack of dopamine can also be received through addiction through smoking, or drinking or drugs, like not all drugs, but bad drugs. And this is why a lot of people end up Odine or, you know, something like that. So anyway, I'll shut up for a minute and breathe so you can speak. That's the other thing with ADHD. I ramble. Hello.
33:25
It makes you a good podcast guest.
33:29
I know, I know, listener listeners are like, right, he's on medication today.
33:36
Well, I was gonna say, I think one of the main differences between us is you're extroverted, I'm introverted. Now I get to flip my, you know, turn my podcasting equipment on, like it's my Ironman suit, and use it to be out there in the world to be in front of people and do cool things. That's not to say I'm not doing cool things outside the suit to but yes, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist something, something that's the line, right from Avengers. Yeah, take that suit away. It's to say that you are as an extrovert, you're charging yourself up as you are fulfilling that need. Whereas as I fulfill that need, I then have to back away to then recharge, it's a little bit different. It's a little bit cyclical, but that's again, I want to call that out as a difference that people might hear. You know, again, there's a prism here and it's a spectrum. So yeah,
34:26
my understanding, at least what I know is whether you're extroverted introverted, ambivert, I don't know. And again, I'm not an expert here, but I don't know of any relation or connection to neurodiversity, or ADHD. For that, you know, I wrote in my book, new business networking and a lot of the work that I've done and you know, even talking to you on the podcast before about networking, you know, I've done a lot of work around writing and thinking for networking for introverts because obviously for extroverts, not too difficult and also to be clear, as you said, it is a spectrum. So like, I'm not 100% extrovert, and you're not 100%. Introvert, right? I'd be out somewhere talking to everybody I could find if I was 100%. And you wouldn't be talking to me at all right now. You're 100% introvert? Nobody is an ambivert. I just think it's a bit of a whatever, the middle. But yeah, that's like, come on.
35:24
So the thing is, is that and I know you as you've been talking, you've been kind of, you know, inserting slash sharing things you've already learned. What are some of the big like bombshell things you've probably, I mean, you've shared a couple of them already, really. But as you've talked with these different experts, like Tamara and Peter Shankman, who's been on the show, by the way, he's been on my show. Yeah, he's great. And you've talked to Rob hatch as well, who works with Chris Brogan. So in other words, you've had at least two or three different guests on your show already that I've had on mine, which is great. So I knew, like when I was going through your episodes, I'm like, you're on the right track. This is really, really, really good as a resource. Well,
36:02
and so I'm gonna comment and answer your question there. Because it's one of the revelations I've learned is that you are far more likely to explore entrepreneurial means with ADHD. ADHD is common among entrepreneurs, and creatives as well. So, you know, I think of, you know, brands like Virgin, Jet Blue. IKEA are just, you know, some of the some of the first three that come to mind. In the presentation, I do the root down, I talk a lot about this. And in the book that I'm working on now to this is a big one. So yeah, so to answer your question, like that was a big revelation was how many creatives have ADHD? How many entrepreneurs also, because with ADHD, you tend to take risks, good or bad. And you tend to think outside the box. Sorry about the old cliche, but that tends to happen. And so it's a great operating system, as I like to call it for entrepreneurs and stuff to have ADHD. So it's interesting that way, you've probably
37:15
heard people and I've heard people go both ways with this. Some have said, Oh, no, don't think of ADHD as a disability. Think of it as a superpower. But then other people are like, yeah, don't call it a superpower. I struggle. I have empathy for both of those. I've been able to tap into it and use it like a superpower sometimes. But dang, it's a struggle. 100%
37:36
Yes, it is. Huge struggle. Absolutely. Yeah. And I'm not super rosy about it all the time, either. You know, there are definitely advantages, you know, as I've mentioned, for, like creatives and entrepreneurs, but yeah, no, absolutely. It's a struggle. By the way, there's also tons of ADHD coaches, who are certified, some are better than others, many have been on my podcast, too, who are not like doctors, or, you know, they're not even medically trained, per se, but they've have studied helping people with ADHD. And so they can coach you, I'm seeing a coach who is fantastic, that specializes in ADHD, so who understands executive functioning skills, and who can help, you know, help me with that stuff, but I brought the coach up because I feel part of the curse of it is and getting back to the creative side and entrepreneurial side is that when you get in the zone, you know, we talk a lot and a lot of hustle porn that you in the culture, you know, your people are striving for to get into flow to get flow, which is like a legit thing. And with ADHD, you do get fixated on something. And whatever you are excited about and really in the zone for you can go full steam ahead with ADHD, you're fixated, hyper fixated. The bad side about it is it is as if there is like a wall between you and the task that you know you need to do you know how to do it, but for whatever reason, you don't want to do it. And you can't do it. And it's like paralyzing and incredibly frustrating because you know, you need to do that thing. And you just for whatever reason, you just can't you just can't do it. And it's it's incredibly annoying.
39:34
Okay, where is the camera in here that you have been watching me from? Because that's behind the camera in my head. You never had a camera in my head. Anyway. That's Jim Carrey from Truman Show. Anyway, yeah, that's what it feels like. Also, he
39:53
has ADHD in
39:54
a very obvious way in a lot of ways. You know, it's almost easy to call that one out for sure. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But he's definitely a wise squirrel because he's up there in years. And he's kind of mellowed in some ways. But he approaches life that way his Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee episode is one of my favorites. So,
40:12
I mean, he's so he's so good. He's so so talented. Definitely somebody I want to interview for the podcast as well, fellow Canadian, too. So who knows? Maybe I'll answer my calls. But I wanted to mention like, to that point. And this is something I actually did a video about this. And I plan to do more videos, kind of sharing what I'm going through with this. But I wrote in my journal also, another thing that I talked about the importance of journaling, overwhelm equals paralysis equals stagnation. And I wrote this down, because it just, I had this revelation with my therapist recently, that when I am overwhelmed, and this is an ADHD thing, when you become overwhelmed about something, you hit that paralysis mode, and if you don't do that thing, then it's stagnation time, you're just going to be stuck. And so we all have to do things we don't want to do, certainly in life. But another big revelation, and part of this adventure for me is the importance of giving myself grace, so that if I'm dragging my heels on doing something that I know, that I need to do, now I understand why it is the way it is, and giving myself enough grace to be like, okay, it's okay, you know, I could do it tomorrow, or not, to procrastinate it to the point of not doing it. But you know, just find ways to make it more fun. I'll actually share very quickly, the journal entry that I wrote, I won't really read the whole thing. But what I'll share with you is that when I am feeling overwhelmed, and I made a little list of things to do, and I encourage, you know, folks to try this or yourself. So one is meditation and mindfulness. The second is to break big projects into small chunks. The third is to reward myself. So if I do it, you know, go have some pizza, or whatever, visualize the end. So think about the end, envision that manifest the future, daily journaling, as I mentioned, and that's how I came up with this blocking my calendar to times in the day to work on some things I don't want to do. And then also getting help from my friends, or outsourcing and to outsource. I've learned about what's called the Eisenhower matrix, which is something you can find, you can see the matrix at y squirrels.com. I wrote a blog post about this. And it's from the one and only Dwight Eisenhower, the former president. But it's this matrix he created of deciding like how to delegate or decide on things to do. And so I wrote a blog post about that, because I found it really helpful. So those are just some things and I find like, again, I thought to myself, overwhelm equals paralysis equals stagnation. But then I opened my journal, and wrote it down. And I'm looking at it like, okay, great to know, this doesn't help. And then I started thinking about, okay, so what do I do when I reached that feeling of overwhelm? And so that's kind of where I landed. Journaling
43:06
is one of the biggest things for me, honestly, my practice of that is one of the things I wanted to revamp, and I know, I'm not a New Year's resolution kind of person. But it was one of the things that recently I've been noticing needed to be reinstated and reconfigured. And it was because of this exact thing is revisited was a check in it was a ask yourself certain questions regularly, and being surprised at the thoughts and conclusions that don't just come from doing it once, but come from doing it continually. So thank you for bringing that up. Yeah.
43:36
And one of the things I wrote I think I was before I was diagnosed, it's interesting to look back at things I wrote or talked about and be like, Oh, that's why I thought that or that. That's why I came up with that solution. But for some reason, I created this like undue stress about journaling, because originally it was treating it like a diary. And then I realized I saw some talk or something, somebody was talking about journaling. And I realized, like, wait a minute, my journal can just be like pages filled with like, scribbles or a recipe or a sketch, or whatever, or the journal entry, or that I write can be a paragraph, or it can be pages, it doesn't matter. It's almost like mourning pages from you know, Julia Cameron from the artists way. It's just giving yourself permission to write a paragraph or a sentence and call it a day. But the point is to like use the journal and also find that's another thing with ADHD is you have to find what works for you. So there may be apps that work for you. It may be better on your computer and a Word document or a Google Doc or whatever. It may be better in a written analog journal or scraps of paper or legal pad or whatever. So it's finding what works best for you as well.
44:51
Well, I'm going to call out that analog versus digital is also something to really consider one of the things that Rob hatch when he was on my show last talked about and I've shared this tip a number of times what I'm sharing in here because it fits, is this idea of having like the legal pad, the analog legal pad sitting here that you can pull over, right? Yep, you're holding up holding it up right there, you pull it over, and you write on it. And then you push it away, and you acknowledge the thought. And you then give yourself it builds trust in yourself. In other words, that, Oh, I've captured it. Now I can put that back out of my mind and focus back on the task at hand. Yeah,
45:25
no. And to your point, I mean, what I do is I'll fill up legal pads, two things on that. One is when I meditate, I'll have a legal pad next to me. And so as I think of something that I want to remember, I'll jot it down. It used to be that if I think of something, I turn on my computer and go and write the article, or create the event, or launch a podcast or all the things and instead, I just jot it down on the legal pad and get back to the breath and get back to like my meditation. And then like, once a week or month depends, I'll just like, sit on the couch and go through all the notes, my legal pad, and there's so much satisfaction and just tearing out all the pages and throwing them in the recycling bin, but keeping some pages that have relevant things, and then deciding like, what are the next steps? Or how should I treat whatever it is that I wrote, so, but some of them are like, oh, yeah, I did all this stuff already. Scrap and just ripping it out. But yeah, feel feels good. And just
46:27
having your own frequency for that. Like, if it's once a week you go through those fine if it's, oh, you know what, I check it after the end of that actual meditation session? I just go through and Okay, is there anything that like I did right down here that's like today or tomorrow or this week, Let me park that where it goes. And it's just it again, it's knowing what the frequency is. So,
46:46
and this, by the way, this is all stuff that I am working on. For my next book, it's also going to be, I think, a Kickstarter. And if your listeners would like to support me on this, I would be eternally grateful. Of course, that would involve me creating a Kickstarter as well.
47:06
First, I'm going to say, I'm going to jump in for sure. Yeah. And you I've been taking notes all along, I have a bunch of different things to one, I want to point people to why squirrels, I want to point them to Dave delaney.me. And then also Russell Barkley and his YouTube videos, and all the other things that we mentioned, but I want to put all those in there. Because one, I hope people got a lot out of this conversation. In terms of awareness first, and to maybe a next step, I'll link up to that mini assessment thing that you've got on your site. That'll be another reinforcement, a little encouragement. You're not alone. All of that. And then to what's funny is I'm giving away all the Hey, Dave, thanks for being here. I'm flipping it. I'm telling them just looking at the end, and I love it. So yeah, anything else you want to call out? I've already called out why squirrels.com? Dave delaney.me. What else would you call out?
48:00
Yeah, I mean, obviously, we're in podcast land here. So I encourage folks to search ADHD, why squirrels, and you'll find the podcasts and I encourage you to follow it. Check it out, if you like what you hear, or even if you don't, although hopefully, if you like it, you know, like we podcasters are known to do, please leave a review and a rating and not just be kind do it for Eric's if you haven't yet, because I'm going to do this part for you, Eric podcasters. We're doing the work. We're putting the content out in the world. And we hope it's sticking and we hope people are finding it helpful. But besides like download numbers and things. I mean, really, at the end of the day, we do this for our listeners. And so receiving feedback is just such a wonderful way to know that you're listening and know that you're enjoying it. So yeah, I do encourage you to check out the show and leave Eric a review here as well. Well
49:02
said, Dave, it's great to see you and talk with you. As usual guy. I can't wait to see you in person sometime soon, hopefully this year. In the meantime, let's stay connected online. And we'll see you next episode. Thanks, man. Well, that's another podcast crossed off your listening to do list. I hope that you enjoyed listening in on this conversation with Dave Delaney. I hope that you got some understanding some awareness maybe not for you, but maybe for other people around you that either you suspect may have ADHD or that you know have ADHD and that maybe this gave you a little bit more not just awareness but understanding empathy sparked some ways in your mind in which this this can help you to help them that said, if you feel like you suspect you might have it, definitely start by going over to Dave site. You can find the link to that in the show notes where you can go and do that quick assessment. That's also where you can find the links to his podcast and everything else that he's doing ADHD wise squirrels, among other things. The different links to resources that were mentioned in this conversation. If you know of somebody that needs to hear this conversation, would you do them the favor and do me the favor of sharing the show with them? Hit that share button in your podcast player app of choice. Let them know you were thinking of them when you heard this, and that you think it might be able to help them. Thank you so much for sharing.
50:20
Hey, thanks for listening to wise squirrels. It has been amazing to share this with you. Best way to show your support for the show. Leave us a review, follow the show and share it with the people in your life. We dropped new episodes every two weeks. So stay tuned for that. Plus dropped by Why squirrels.com or click the link in the podcast description. And you'll find a lot of different resources like articles a an assessment newsletter. Lots of good stuff over at White squirrels.com. So dropped by let me know what you think. And we'll see you next time. Take care
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