PODCAST. Celebrating Wins, Masking, & Dave's Dopamine.
Episode Sponsored by Futureforth. Get communication coaching or keynotes with Dave Delaney. Learn more.
This episode of Wise Squirrels features a reverse episode, an interview with our very own Dave Delaney. Executive function expert Sarah Kesty, who you will recall from episode 53 of Wise Squirrels, allowed us to share her episode with Dave from Sarahโs The Executive Function Podcast.
Whether you are a fellow late-diagnosed adult or just trying to understand why your brain sometimes ignores the "important" stuff in favor of the "sparkly" stuff, this conversation offers a roadmap for moving from shame to strategy.
The Late-Diagnosed ADHD Perspective
Dave Delaney was diagnosed with ADHD at age 50, a discovery that allowed him to look back at his life and career through a brand-new lens. Together, Dave and Sarah discuss how late-diagnosed adults often spend decades masking, creating elaborate coping mechanisms to hide their struggles from a neurotypical world.
Understanding the "Dopamine Hunt"
A recurring theme in the ADHD experience is the search for dopamine. Dave and Sarah discuss how this manifests in different areas of life:
The High of the Stage: Dave finds "flow states" easily when delivering a keynote presentation or performing improv because the instant feedback and audience connection provide a massive rush of dopamine.
The "Slog" of Admin: Tasks like business development and prospecting can feel like a "grind" because they lack immediate rewards.
Excess as a Fix: Dave shares how his previous habits, including overeating and past periods of excess with alcohol, were often subconscious attempts to "fix" a lack of dopamine.
Tools for Your "Life Laboratory"
Sarah encourages listeners to view their daily lives as a laboratory where they can test different strategies without judgment. If a strategy doesn't work, it's not a moral failure; it just means the experiment isn't finished yet.
The Eisenhower Matrix
One of the most effective tactical tools discussed is the Eisenhower Matrix, a four-quadrant system designed to help prioritize tasks that our ADHD brains might otherwise ignore. Download your copy here.
Urgent & Important: Do these immediately.
Important but Not Urgent: Schedule a specific time for these (this is where ADHDers often struggle).
Urgent but Not Important: Delegate these to someone else if possible.
Neither: Delete or eliminate these tasks to clear mental clutter.
The "Novelty Reboot"
Because the ADHD brain thrives on newness, even the best planner or app can eventually become "invisible". Sarah suggests a novelty reboot: simply changing the color of your sticky notes, the sound of your alarm, or the location of your workspace can "trick" the brain into paying attention again.
Overcoming the "Shoulds" and Celebrating Wins
Many Wise Squirrels struggle with a constant inner monologue of what they "should" be doing. Dave admits that even when he lands a major keynote, he often forgets to celebrate, immediately asking, "What's next?"
The Artist's Day: Inspired by Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, Dave recommends taking an "Artist's Day" a full day off to wander, visit museums, and journal to recharge the creative battery without the pressure of productivity.
Self-Compassion: Sarah emphasizes that because ADHDers often hear thousands of negative critiques growing up, practicing self-kindness and "high-fiving yourself" for small wins is a vital part of executive function.
Sarah Kesty provides resources for families and individuals looking to master their executive function. You can find her at sarahkesty.com.
How do you handle the "slog" tasks in your life? Join the conversation on the Wise Squirrels Substack.
