The benefits of not being a jerk to yourself

In The Root Down, a key concept is the importance of accepting and loving yourself. Watching former ABC News anchor turned NYT Best Selling Author and host of the Ten Percent Happier Podcast, Dan Harris’s TED talk on self-kindness felt important to share with you here.

A Candid Revelation:

Harris begins his talk by recounting his decision to undergo a 360 review involving anonymous surveys from bosses, peers, and direct reports. His candid and humorous storytelling sets the stage for a narrative that delves into his vulnerabilities, weaving a tale that captures the essence of his journey from skepticism to self-discovery.

Having suffered a panic attack live on air in 2004, Harris turned to meditation, initially dismissing it as New Age cliches. Surprisingly, meditation became his refuge, helping him manage anxiety and depression. Embracing a no-nonsense approach, Harris became a self-help guru, aiming to make meditation accessible to skeptics by injecting humor into the practice, something we appreciate.

The Shocking 360 Review Results:

Harris humorously builds suspense as he describes receiving a 39-page report filled with praises and critiques. While the first 13 pages lauded his strengths, the following 26 pages provided a brutal assessment, revealing Harris' tendencies towards rudeness, emotional guardedness, and self-centeredness. The revelation was a profound moment of self-awareness.

Confronting Inner Demons:

Harris's journey takes a deeper turn as he acknowledges his most prominent demons: anger and self-centeredness. With transparency rarely seen, he opens up about the painful realization that the aspects of his personality he tried to hide were laid bare in the review. This revelation prompts him to embark on a quest for personal development.

Motivated to be a better person, Harris undergoes psychotherapy, communication coaching, bias training, and even a nine-day silent retreat focused on loving-kindness meditation. He shares his skepticism and reluctance, highlighting the awkwardness of practices that involve self-affirmation and warmth.

The Radical Shift: Embracing Self-Love:

Through his silent retreat experience, Harris undergoes a radical shift in perspective. He discovers that self-love is not indulgent but a form of radical disarmament. Rather than fighting his inner demons, Harris learns to extend warmth towards himself, acknowledging that these demons are ancient, fear-based programs developed through culture and upbringing.

Harris introduces two distinct paths individuals can choose: the Toilet Vortex, characterized by self-flagellation and negativity, and the Cheesy Upward Spiral, where self-love leads to improved relationships and, consequently, better overall well-being.

A Unified Field Theory of Love:

Harris concludes with his "Me, A Love Story" concept, proposing that love, in its broadest sense, is the key to solving societal issues. He advocates for self-love as a trainable skill, offering practical steps such as loving-kindness meditation and conscious counterprogramming against the inner critic.

Dan Harris's TED Talk takes the audience on a compelling journey from the pressures of the newsroom to the profound lessons of self-love. Through humor, vulnerability, and genuine introspection, Harris inspires viewers to embrace self-love as a transformative force for personal growth and societal change, and it’s why this message is a core of The Root Down.

We recommend following Dan Harris’s excellent Ten Percent Happier Podcast and trying his meditation app.