PODCAST. Misdiagnosis, ADHD Coaching, and Improv Comedy with Alex Hey.

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In this captivating episode of the ADHD Wise Squirrels podcast, Dave speaks with Alex Hey, an ADHD coach and founder of Reset ADHD, author, and improv enthusiast from Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Alex shares his remarkable journey of receiving a missed diagnosis of ADHD, transitioning into an ADHD coach, and innovatively using improv to aid adults with ADHD.

Alex Hey's Journey with ADHD

Alex Hey's story begins with a missed ADHD diagnosis and subsequent correct diagnosis at twenty. Traditional learning environments proved challenging, often leaving him feeling out of place. However, Alex discovered an unexpected haven in the world of improv. This creative outlet not only resonated with his ADHD brain’s need for spontaneity and excitement but also laid the foundation for his future endeavors.

As he navigated adulthood, Alex decided to channel his experiences into helping others facing similar challenges. He became an ADHD coach, a role that allows him to blend his understanding of ADHD with practical strategies for management and success.

Integrating Improv into ADHD Coaching

One of the most intriguing aspects of Alex's coaching is his use of improv. He incorporates improv games into his sessions to help clients improve their social skills, build confidence, and practice quick thinking. The core principle of improv, "Yes, and...," teaches acceptance and adaptability—key skills for anyone with ADHD.

Alex recounts his experiences with improv, noting how it serves as mental exercise. "Improv is all about listening, being a good teammate, and setting your scene partners up for success," he explains. These skills translate seamlessly into real life, enhancing interpersonal interactions and problem-solving abilities.

The Mental Benefits of Improv

Improv isn't just about comedy; it’s a powerful tool for cognitive and social development. Alex shares a story about a workshop participant who initially doubted the benefits of improv. After engaging in a few games, the participant had an epiphany, realizing how these exercises could apply to real-life situations.

One game Alex frequently uses is "Entrance and Exit Words," where participants must remember specific words that cue their entry and exit in a scene. This exercise enhances memory and listening skills through repetition, proving particularly beneficial for those with ADHD.

Improv Workshops and ADHD Coaching

To extend his reach, Alex conducts monthly improv workshops via Zoom. These sessions, held on the second Thursday of every month at 8 PM Eastern Time, are accessible from anywhere and designed to help adults with ADHD develop essential life skills in a fun, supportive environment.

Through these workshops, participants experience the joy of play, which Alex believes is crucial for learning and personal growth. "We learn through play," he says. "Children develop social skills and problem-solving abilities through play, and adults can benefit just as much from incorporating playfulness into their lives."

Embracing Play in Adulthood

Alex emphasizes the importance of maintaining a playful mindset, even in adulthood. "Improv makes life more exciting," he asserts. By experimenting with the techniques learned in improv, individuals can bring a sense of creativity and spontaneity into their daily routines.

This approach aligns with the core concept of leading with acceptance, a fundamental aspect of improv. Whether you’re dealing with unexpected challenges in everyday life or navigating complex professional scenarios, a "Yes, and..." mindset encourages adaptability and resilience.

Alex Hey's journey from a missed ADHD diagnosis to becoming an ADHD coach and integrating improv into his practice is truly inspiring. His work highlights the transformative power of improv, not just as an entertainment form but as a valuable tool for personal development and ADHD management.

For those interested in exploring Alex's methods, more information about his workshops and coaching services can be found on his website, Reset ADHD. Whether you’re seeking to enhance your social skills, build confidence, or simply add a bit of fun to your routine, Alex’s approach offers a unique and effective pathway.

Don’t miss this information about Dave Delaney’s keynote presentation and improv workshop, The Master Communicator’s Secret Weapon.

• Transcript

  0:00

  Yeah, so reset ADHD is the business I own. It's

  0:05

  intended to give people the chance to hit the reset button on their ADHD, as opposed to just letting ADHD beat them over the head. Let them yeah, just not admit defeat in the face of the challenges of ADHD. So I do that through a number of ways. The main way is my one on one coaching, where I meet with people one on one, we talk about who they are, what their strengths are, how they can use their strengths to overcome their challenges. I like to say it's my job to help people work with their brains, not against them.

  0:41

  I've also got a blog on reset adhd.com. I've got webinars, courses, and books. That's great. And then I also do improv workshops for people with ADHD. Yeah, so that is something I definitely want to talk about with you here.

  1:02

  So you got into coaching, was it late? It was late 2018. Right, early 2017. And what led you to that to deciding to become a coach? Yeah. So

  1:16

  back in 2014, I graduated college with

  1:22

  a bachelor's in Business Administration. I had always kind of wanted to start my own business, but didn't really have any good ideas. So I kind of explored the job market, see what was out there. But nothing really spoke to me. And I ended up spending the first summer after graduation, doing basically nothing. And kind of feeling sorry, for myself feeling bad about myself, didn't really have any direction in life.

  1:50

  But I got a couple of writing opportunities. And I was like, okay, maybe I should pursue freelance writing for a year. And I did that for a year made no money. So I was like, Alright, I don't really want to make a living out of something that doesn't give me any money. So I went back to school, get a master's in criminal justice. And that

  2:17

  was interesting. I really enjoyed it. So by the end of my master's program, I wanted to teach Criminal Justice at the collegiate level.

  2:26

  So I looked into doctoral programs spent a year as a substitute teacher, just to get some experience in the classroom. And by the end of that second year, or that year of substitute teaching and looking for doctoral programs. I had not got into any doctoral programs, and substitute teaching was awful.

  2:50

  Yeah, it's glorified babysitting. Yeah. So

  2:55

  the next school year, I was still a substitute teacher, because I didn't know what else to do. And as that second year of substitute teaching was ramping up, I was like, gosh, I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life. And

  3:12

  I just was really unsatisfied with life. So I started digging interiorly. And I found that the reason I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life, is that I wasn't managing my own ADHD well, so I dove into research and writing on ADHD. And over time,

  3:36

  I just discovered this passion for helping others with ADHD and,

  3:42

  and I bought halfway through that second year of substitute teaching. I almost signed up for an ADHD Coach Training Program

  3:53

  decided against it because I wasn't sure about it.

  3:56

  And then in the spring of that second year of substitute teaching, I

  4:04

  had a job interview to be a proofreader at a label making company.

  4:12

  And the closer that got the more awful that job sounded.

  4:20

  It does sound challenging. Yeah, yeah. It just some sounded boring. And I was like, Is that really how I want to spend my time? Yeah. And the answer was, No, I don't want to spend my time that way. So I cancelled the job interview. And that same day signed up for ADHD coach training, and I've never looked back. The label making thing threw me off because I was thinking, I just came across actually, I wish I had them in front of me. I just came across so I grew up. One of the things I love was magic and but I was a big Penn and Teller fan. And they have a book called How to Play With Your Food and there's a bunch of tricks that you can do you know, obvious

  5:00

  Sorry, involving restaurants and food. And in the book, they have an insert and an include stickers that are alternative labels that you can take off and place on regular household items. And the labels are, like, you know, may contain arsenic and like, you know, this will cause bleeding and things like that. And you could just put the sea and I just found them last night, like in an old box and an old book.

  5:25

  It was, so the timing was really funny. But I always wanted like I did it, like I stuck them on products at my mom's house to see if she'd ever came across. I guess it goes to show you how often people read the labels. So you were diagnosed with ADHD at do I 20? Right? Yeah, diagnosed at 28 a year left to college. And that was that was an interesting journey as well. If you would like me to tell the story. I can. Yeah, I'd love to. Yeah, so I have the inattentive type of ADHD. And so I think that's why it got missed for two decades.

  6:00

  Basically, I'd always kind of suspected that there was something different about me, and I knew I had a hard time focusing. And I remember one time asking my mom, do you think it's possible that I have ADHD, and she said, No, your grades would be worse.

  6:18

  At the same time, she was always on me about my grades. You're so smart, Alex, you should be getting A's. And I never really believed that. I never believed in myself. So I just went through school, doing what I thought was my best I was able to get by because I am smart. I didn't come to believe that until later in life.

  6:40

  It seemed to everyone else that I was under achieving to me, I felt I was just doing what I was capable of. Fast forward to college, I'm starting to invest in different areas of my life that are important to me. And I noticed that in conversation in other areas where I have placed importance and priority in my life. I'm not focusing the way I want to what it all came down to is I was sitting in a chapel one day trying to pray.

  7:15

  And my faith is very important to me. And I was having the hardest time focusing. I ended up leaving the chapel earlier than I intended because I was just so down on myself. I remember leaving the chapel and thinking, What the heck is wrong with me? This is so important to me. Why can I focus? There was something that made me stop and go, Okay.

  7:40

  Maybe this is something you need to checkout. That's when I decided, Okay, I'm going to see a doctor about ADHD. I've always kind of suspected it. And now it's time to see if it's actually a part of my life.

  7:55

  So I had this thing on my foot. It was I don't I don't even know what it was. But it was kind of growing on my foot. It was like a little bump thing. And when you have a little bump thing on your foot, your first thought is oh my gosh, is this cancer?

  8:13

  It wasn't. But I went to the doctor anyway. And after the flip thing, I was like, and yeah, I think I might have ADHD and he and he goes, have you ever been tested for ADHD? And I said, No. And he goes, Well, let's get you tested. He referred me to a doctor, where I live in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, there's two major hospital systems. He referred me to one. The doctor there had a short conversation with me just asked questions about my grades.

  8:48

  And then sent me on my way and said I don't think you have ADHD

  8:52

  come to find out.

  8:55

  I should have been sent to the other hospital system. Because the one doctor I was sent to was not covered by my insurance. So I got stuck with a hefty bill for a doctor who didn't really do their job. And that got me angry. And my mom saw the bill and was like, oh, you should have been going to the other hospital system.

  9:18

  And I was like, oh, okay, so I

  9:22

  was still not being not able to focus on the things that were important to me. So I got another appointment at the other hospital system. They actually ran tests.

  9:36

  And they diagnosed me with ADHD.

  9:40

  You know, I'm from Toronto originally. So I'm Canadian, but I live in the US and, you know, I still my head still spins trying to figure out insurance and questions around like, you know, getting straight answers to like, is this gonna cost me an arm and a leg or even an arm? You know?

  10:00

  I just trying to find out the answers and but I've heard from other people too, about how they were misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. But because yeah, I mean, there are still doctors out there or other medical professionals who just don't believe in ADHD. They don't. They don't. It's It's shocking to hear stories of that, but but it does come up from time to time I do I have been hearing about that.

  10:31

  So for your, for your clients that you serve.

  10:35

  Tell me a little bit about them. Are they people, obviously without naming names, but are they you know, your age? Are they college people? Are they older? Are they executives? Are they like, are they label makers or label inspectors? Tell me a little bit about the people that you serve. I have not coached anyone who's a proofreader at a label making.

  10:59

  As far as ages, I say teens and adults, it's not so much about

  11:06

  the age of a person so much as the fit with me, personality wise.

  11:12

  So I'm looking for people kind of like me, who aren't reaching their full potential who have, who have strengths that they want to develop, that they want to see improved upon. So yeah, I look for people who are introspective, fun, have a good sense of humor, I try to make my coach in kind of light, even though we are sometimes dealing with some very serious topics. But I like to have fun. I like to keep things light, but I can get deep and serious when I need to. In fact, I love going to those deep places. So if I've got a client who just wants help with their to do list that doesn't really excite me, I want clients who are looking at Yes, I've got I've got these like day to day challenges. But what's out there for me what's going to be bigger for me. So it's, it's it's less about demographics, and more about the fit. And the longer I think about my ideal client, the more confused I get. I did write a blog post after doing some work trying to determine what my ideal client is. And you can find that on my website. If anything I say in this podcast resonates with you. Come check me out. You can also just research me in other ways read my blog. I don't know if there's a nibble. It's worth exploring. And the thing I like to say to potential clients is it's okay to interview more than one coach, because I believe that that personality fit is what is important. More so than Oh, you're the right age and profession.

  13:01

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now that that makes that makes sense to me. One thing I've been finding, and just to remind you, so you know, I was diagnosed at 50.

  13:14

  And so my whole life, I was not aware that I had ADHD. And so now reflecting on things, it's been pretty, pretty interesting. And I've been finding like a lot of old notebooks a bit like I mentioned those labels. My wife and I spent a bunch of the weekend kind of cleaning out a closet, and it was just filled with boxes and Pharrell junk. And I was finding a bunch of notebooks. It's something funny, because I've always been a believer in the power of journaling, and have journaled a lot over the years. But for some reason, I would, I would start a brand new journal. And then I would just borrow of it, and then buy another journal and start doing that. And then I would have like a notebook, right? Have notes about work stuff, or whatever. And suddenly, there would be like a journal entry in the middle of it. It was just a mess of all these journal entries, but one of the most common things I found looking back, just this is just over the weekend, looking back was all like, it's like, I always knew what to do. Like I was always and I guess at 51 Now I'm still trying to find myself but always trying to find myself and figure out what path I should take and where I should go in my career and what I should do. And you know, and I find all these years of these different blog posts or notes to myself, and it's weird because it's like the same advice over and over and over again. It's been interesting for me along that journey, do you find anything started to resonate with you are similar and the clients that you serve? I personally I do

  14:55

  because the idea of having all these notebooks that resonates with me a lot

  15:00

  Um, my mom used to joke that I would make all these lists and she'd find lists all over the house. And I really feel like that was me trying to remember the things that I innately knew were going to be hard for me to remember. And so just giving myself that extra boost of okay, you don't have to remember this, because you wrote it down. And journaling, I do that. Not at all consistently.

  15:31

  So I think I journaled for the first time in two years, the other day. And

  15:38

  every time I journal, I think I gotta do this more. And I don't. But I am a believer in getting things out of your head, because it swirls around otherwise, one thing I do do is I've got a notebook dedicated to poetry.

  15:58

  And doing that regularly has been a challenge. But I find it's easier when I'm going through something like something not so great.

  16:10

  One of my favorite poets says, I write my best stuff, when I'm either falling in love or falling apart.

  16:18

  And that resonated with me so much, because like, that's, that's when I do my best writing. Yeah. But yeah, so the idea of having notebooks all over the place in good intentioned journal sessions, that never lead anywhere. Yeah, that happens a lot. And I try to make sure that people do what works for them. And sometimes that is experimentation. So maybe you and I haven't found the journaling technique, you need to find what works for you. Mm hmm.

  16:54

  And are there what other strategies or techniques or things that you've seen work for, for people? I mean, obviously, you know, yeah, to your point, like, journaling is great. But if that's not your not your jam, or poetry, are there other things that you recommend or techniques that you go through with your clients to kind of find their thing?

  17:21

  It takes experimentation, as I said before, so just trying different things. I one time had a client to have this instinct that turning on the camera on his laptop, and just making a video, journal entry would work for him rather than writing things out. So there are lots of different ways of figuring out what works for you. And the bottom line is you just have to try something. But trying something doesn't mean you go blindly and do what everyone else is doing.

  17:56

  There's something deep inside of you, that will help you realize what's going to come natural to you. And over the years, we've kind of done things to shut that voice down and ignore it. What I like to do in my coaching is try and help people rediscover who they are, and what works for them. So those little hints that come from our gut, that often provides clues to what can help you. And the thing is, we haven't been struggling 100% of the time for our entire life we have had successes in our past. And exploring those successes can lead to new insights, that allow us to discover the strategies, techniques, whatever you want to call it, that are going to work for us. So maybe like a like an activity for someone would might be to, you know, and write it, draw it, whatever, but to kind of reflect upon their lives and find those moments where they were happiest, perhaps doing something like maybe trying to drill in on on those positive experiences and, and maybe start to to uncover some some memories of, you know, like, yeah, yeah, go ahead. Sorry. It's about finding when you felt most alive,

  19:27

  happy is fleeting.

  19:29

  But feeling alive, feeling joyful. That's more of like, a grounded permanent feeling. Because one of the worst periods of my life was the beginning of 2018. I was going through emotional and physical turmoil.

  19:48

  And so I was just miserable all the time. Yet there was this sense of simplicity and joy that I had

  19:55

  in the life I had to live at that time just to survive.

  20:00

  I found it to be strengthening, but also just, I don't know, there are there are times where I go back and think about that time of my life. And I just think, Wow, that was incredible. You know, I was miserable, but I was alive. I was doing what I needed to do. And I'm so proud of myself for surviving that

  20:25

  there is something that I've written a bit about, excuse me, in that.

  20:34

  Yeah, at those darkest moments, sort of the old light at the end of the tunnel line. But, I mean, there really is something to that, like where as as dark or as bad a situation can be. You know, there there are, there is that light at the end of the tunnel coming and, you know, I I've reflected like one of the worst things, not not a, thankfully not a health thing personally, but but something that happened to me was, and it was so many years ago, but the short version is my girlfriend of a couple of years, basically broke my heart fooled around on me and, and it was just like a terrible ordeal, a much longer story I won't bore you with, but I was just an emotional mess after that. And it was at that point that I just felt really lost. And I'm like, You know what, I'm gonna get the hell out of here. And backpack, Europe. And so I did I, you know, live like hosteling and hitchhiking and all that things. And I went to Europe and backpack Europe, and I fell in love with Ireland. And so I had such a great time. And I enjoyed Ireland so much, I'm a Delaney go figure

  21:56

  that this was 96. And so 97, I came back to Toronto and decided, Okay, I'm gonna get a job, I'm not going to go out as much as I used to with friends, I'm just going to hunker down, save up as much money as possible. And then in 98, go back and spend a year in Ireland. So that I can be there not just in the summer months with the tourists, but be there all year long. Living in Galway, which is where I lived. And so I did that. And by doing that, I met this wonderful girl from Tennessee. And this girl from Tennessee turned out to be my future wife, and mother of our two kids and best friend. And so I often think about this kind of thing where, you know, there are these dark, terrible moments. And, and, you know, not to belittle them, but but but just to keep keep keep thinking about the future and that there is the other side of that, and, and, you know, who knows where that will, what that will lead you. But it's the same sort of thing that I'm going through now. You know, a big thing. And I expect you've probably come across this in your work is, you know, a lot of people who are late diagnosed, certainly adults with ADHD, certainly probably teens as well. But when you're late diagnosed, you start reflecting on your life and all the what ifs that could have been had had, we caught it earlier. And I've been really avoiding that. Thinking mainly because I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you. And in a nice home in a safe place with a cute dog behind me on the couch and a wonderful wife and two amazing kids. Like, I wouldn't have this life had I known because I would have would have taken me in all sorts of different directions. So I wouldn't have had this exact life. And so, you know, I think about it that way. Yeah, I think that's great. You know,

  23:53

  we're shaped by the things that happen to us. And not that the tragedies of our past define us. But I think the

  24:05

  strength that comes from dealing with hard times can really improve us and make us who we are. There was something else I wanted to say but in truly ADHD fashion, I'm not thinking of it at the moment. No worries. No. Oh, it was it had something to do with

  24:25

  when we go through things, they lead us to place places where we're meant to be.

  24:33

  I'm it sounds cheesy, but I'm of the opinion that everything happens for a reason there's something to be learned or something to be gained by going through difficult moments. They lead us to a place we otherwise wouldn't have gone I think you're spot on. When you reflect on your on your life you start to see kind of through lines and you can kind of thread different parts of your life. So and I will this will be like the smoothest

  25:00

  that way ever.

  25:02

  When I was in Toronto, I studied with Second City and graduated through the Second City's improvisation improv comedy program. And after that, went to London for a short time, and then Ireland. And when I was in Galway, I was dying to do improv, and I found a class and I went to the class. And I talked to the teacher afterwards. And I said, Listen, I'd like to, you know, I explained sort of my background and, and I said, I want to put an improv troupe together here in Galway. And so she's like, Sure, just hand, you know, you can cherry pick the students out of the class, you want to pitch this to and go for it. And so I did. And I chose a handful of the students. I think all of them said yes. And we formed an improv comedy troupe. And we did an improv shows every Thursday night for like a year and a half or something. And then a company hired me

  26:00

  to come out and do like a workshop and improv workshop for them, which, so many years later, I realized, really, it's about communication skills. And this very much has led into my presentation skills. And, you know, getting back to what you were talking about with, you know, passions and where you were working, you know, where you were feeling the most joy, let's say, for me, so often it's on stage, whether I'm delivering a keynote presentation, or whether I'm, you know, performing improv, or attempting stand up.

  26:34

  Just getting the audience laughing and having a good time and learning a thing or two. I mean, it's

  26:40

  reflecting on my own life and career, I've also realized that that was the dopamine that I was getting the dopamine from these experiences that I was so desperately looking for,

  26:52

  you know, with my, with my ADHD head, so. So let's talk about improv. Yeah, because yeah, so So tell me about your background and how you have tapped into using improv with your ADHD work. Yeah, I

  27:14

  started watching Whose Line is it? Anyway, when I was probably too young to be watching Whose Line Is It Anyway?

  27:22

  Somehow or another, it got turned on at my dad's house, and I started watching and I instantly fell in love. I didn't know at the time that they were making everything up. So I heard Wayne Brady singing a song and I thought, oh, that's an actual song. And then when I tried to find it, it didn't exist. So the more I watched it, the more I realized just how incredible it was what they were doing. And like I said, I fell in love with it instantly. started watching it every chance I got got my friends to start watching it at my birthday parties. When I got to pick what we do,

  28:03

  we'd have sleepovers. And I'd make them play improv games with me.

  28:09

  But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to do it on stage. In high school, I think I suggested forming an improv group a couple of times, and

  28:20

  I had no takers. And then when I went to college, my

  28:26

  school I was gonna go to had an improv group. And I was so excited to join it.

  28:33

  I wasn't so excited about leaving home, I thought I was but looking back, I was going through a lot of anxiety about leaving home and going off to college.

  28:45

  In fact, I developed insomnia, and I just could not sleep at night. And so one of the things I would do

  28:53

  was I would just kind of hanging out in my bathroom, and pretend that I was improvising. So an 18 year old guy was in his bathroom pretending to pretend.

  29:05

  And

  29:07

  yeah, it was it was just so tempting to me and so exciting for me that I was going to have this opportunity. And then I'm standing there about to go on for my first improv scene ever. Just that the first practice. We had the first improv session we had that fall. And I thought to myself, What if I suck at this, I quickly banished the thought because this was my chance. If it didn't go, well, it might be my only chance. So I was like, I can't let nervousness get in the way. And so I go out on stage, I do my bit by the end of the scene, the entire crowd is roaring with laughter. And I'm hooked on the performing of improv.

  29:54

  There was a kind of a big club at that school and

  30:00

  Only six to eight of us got to perform in their false show. And I was like, Oh, I'm a freshman. They're not going to pick me. But they did. I got picked. And I was just so pumped up about being in the show. At the end of the semester, I transferred to a different school back home where I could be closer to family.

  30:21

  Actually, when I say closer to family, what I really mean is I wanted to be closer to my dog. But anyway, so the school I transferred to also had an improv club, I joined that had a lot of fun doing it, then college ended. And so my opportunity to do improv ended. So there were a number of years, where some of us from college tried to get an improv group going and it just never worked out. Then COVID hit and this guy named Bill from Elkton, South Dakota, originally left where he was, at the time, Singapore, and went back to his hometown for COVID. And it always had been his dream to start up improv in South Dakota. So after everything calmed down, he made a post in an acting group on Facebook, that I rarely check. But for some reason, it showed up on my Facebook timeline, and I saw it, and I was like, Yes, this is my chance. Apparently, I was the first one to reach out to him. He taught, you know, we started with classes and just kind of learning his style of doing improv. And then we started doing shows. And I've been doing that for almost two years now with him. And it's,

  31:39

  it's been great. And it's inspired me to use it more. So like, I do improv workshops for people with ADHD. I just went to a conference on applied improvisation, which is using improv exercises, to help in other areas like communication, like emotional intelligence, and basically whatever you can think of, because improv helps with a lot.

  32:05

  And I met Colin mockery at that conference, which was really cool. That's great. Yeah. So it was just, it's gotten me on fire again for doing improv, and doing different things with improv.

  32:20

  So yes, I do the improv workshops for ADHD. But there's probably more gonna come from improv and I can't wait to find out what that is. Yeah, that's amazing. I love that you kind of found it again.

  32:36

  So I was.

  32:39

  So I have, so I do a lot of public speaking. And I work with companies and help them improve communication skills with their teams, and so on. And I have a keynote that I do, called the master communicator, secret weapon. And I always let the planner know ahead of time that it's improv. And that's the secret weapon. But I always say don't, don't tell the audience don't tell your team, because I'm going to, I'm going to spring it on them. But I'm not going to do it in a way to make people feel uncomfortable. Because I found that initially, it used to be called improve with improv. But I found that some people were horrified to hear that the speaker is gonna, you know, he's gonna make me go up on stage and look like an idiot. And you know, people were really fearful. And, like, no, no, no, I'm gonna teach you like three core concepts, these skills from improv that you can take and apply to the way you communicate with others to improve how you communicate. And you don't have to do improv. However, you know, I would encourage you to do that.

  33:44

  So and that has been really interesting, because for me, yeah, it's kind of come full circle in the world of improv, because that's become something that I do a lot. And I, in fact, I'm doing it next week for a conference. And so it's interesting one of the stories they share in it and you mentioned call a mockery. I tweeted to call a mockery. I was I was watching whose line with my son,

  34:09

  Sam, and this is many, many years ago now. Or not many, but a few years ago. And he I asked him, like, who's your favorite person on whose line? And he said, call him mockery? And I said, Well, that's great, because my son is also from Toronto, like I am. My kids were born in Toronto, but raised in Nashville. So I tweeted to call a mockery. And I said, my 13 year old son was telling me how you're his favorite on Whose Line? Please don't tell the others. We don't want to hurt their feelings. Do you have any words of advice or message you'd like me to relate to Sam? And I kid you not without missing a beat, he replied instantly, and said, tell him he is quite intelligent, amazingly insightful. And don't worry, I'll tell the others

  34:58

  how awesome is that?

  35:00

  Yeah, that is great. I mean, and that's that was my experience meeting Colin mockery, too. I just, you know, I said,

  35:07

  you know, I started watching you when I was too young to be watching you. And I just love who's lying, and you're an inspiration to me. And he was just so sweet and just seemed like an ordinary guy. And, you know, other people from the conference, were walking up to him and introducing themselves and he kept pointing at me and going, this is Alex from Sioux Falls, and it was just like,

  35:31

  wow, you know, you think of celebrities as these larger than life people. And sometimes you hear about them being just jerks in real life. And, but that was not my experience with Colin, it was just a genuine guy. And he does like poking fun at his fellow whose line cast mates but

  35:53

  tell me a little bit about how you work with folks with ADHD like how like as it applies to improv, are you are you doing, you know, character work game where like, like scene work, or like Herald's are were. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that. What does that look like? Like if I were to, you know, inquire or engage you to do some improv? Like, what would that look like? It's still new. So I'm still experimenting and finding what's going to work best.

  36:24

  But right now, my strategy is just to play short form improv games over zoom with people. And after each game, talk about okay, how was that for you? How did that feel?

  36:35

  Can you see this applying in your real life? And I had somebody in the first one I did, who

  36:45

  just had no idea what to expect. It had been recommended to him. So he be signed up and

  36:54

  and he's like, how does this help? And that was, like, one of his first questions is, how does this help? Why? Why am I doing this? And just by playing the game, he goes, Oh, I can totally see how this helps in real life. And I forget what game he was playing, but I look at as mental exercise. So just trusting that your brain is going to be stretched and strengthened by playing these games, because it's all about listening. It's all about being a good teammate. It's all about, you know, it's not about being the funniest one, it's about being

  37:34

  the most helpful one, almost,

  37:37

  where you are setting your

  37:41

  teammates up or your scene partner up for success.

  37:45

  And I feel like the more people play improv games, the better listeners they'll become. The better teammates, partners, whatever you want to call it. They'll become better at that. And so I know at our improv has helped me in my life, dealing with depression and, and really becoming a better listener, because that's the thing. I have ADHD, but one of my strengths in improv is listening. Seems paradoxical. But there's something about being on the improv stage that ignites that little thing that gets my listening muscles going, I think, yeah, I think part of it is just helping, like you're helping the others, right? Like, if you're not listening, you know, if you miss out on something like

  38:35

  so, in that presentation that I do, and that training, I talk about how when you repeat something out loud, it helps your brain remember that information, your brain perks up and thinks, oh, well, that must be important. I guess I better remember that. And like, I use the example. Often I'm speaking at conferences, so I'll say, you know, you're, you're here at the conference together. If you meet somebody Hey, Alex, it's great to meet you. Yeah. Oh, tell me about last year, Alex, you know, and then Oh, it's great to meet you, Alex. Yeah, I hope to see you later. But by we're repeating their name several times, it helps you retain that information and remember it. And so I use that example. But then I say like, if you go to an improv show, you'll see like, say three actors on the stage, and they get what's called the give from the audience of whatever their job is, let's say, and let's say it's just for sake of argument, it's a butcher, baker and candlestick maker. Yeah, I always explain that like the first person, you know, the audience, somebody in the audience says butcher and so the, the actor repeats it and looks at the other actors to like butcher, and then the second Baker, and candlestick maker, so they repeat it out loud. And I in the training that I've done over the years and doing improv for a long time is what you're doing there. And in the presentation, I explained that the scientific, the scientific name for

  40:00

  When you forget the information, I believe it's called a brain fart.

  40:05

  And that, could you imagine being up in a scene with two other actors and forgetting who you are, or somebody else not knowing who they are. And so when you repeat that information, the other actors hear it too. So you can and it's happened to me where I brain farted up there. And I didn't hear the give for like the second actor, so I didn't know like, what his role was, or what you know, and but because he repeat it out loud, I was like, Oh, thank God, he said that. And so just by repeating the information, and then you know, to your point, really listening. Gosh, it's it's so important, and it can be so helpful. Yeah, I'm thinking of a game that my performance improv group does, called entrance and exit words, where if a certain word is said, a person walks into the scene, if a certain word is said they exit the scene, and everybody has two words that they have to remember for entering and exiting the scene. And every time you enter an exit, you have to justify why you left or you came back. Yeah. And

  41:07

  that's six things you have to remember. That's, that's kind of hard. And so one of the things we do is just repeat the words before we begin the scene.

  41:17

  And it helps in, but there have been times where I'm in the middle of the scene. And I see one of my scene partners offstage, kind of waiting to come on. And I'm thinking, Gosh, it would sure be nice if I could remember what their entrance word is.

  41:33

  And you know, but I'll stay in the scene. I'll keep playing the truth of the scene. And then somebody else will say the word, right, if there's three of us playing that game, one person is offstage. I'm with another person. And we're trying to figure out how to get that third person on Yeah, if the other person remembers than I remember, because we're a team.

  41:56

  So just having that repetition. And then once you hear the word again, you don't forget it for the rest of the scene, because you're like, oh, yeah, I can't forget that. No, because I've already forgotten once, right?

  42:10

  Yeah, I would struggle with, there's a game called party quarks where, yeah, you have to leave the room before and just trying to figure it out. And yeah, I would, I would often struggle with that. That one, and it took me a while to kind of figure it out. But yeah, and it's also like fun. Like, improv is such a fun activity. Like I had a friend of mine, one of my one of my best friends in the world, and he hated improv and performance and any of that stuff. And we would meet for beers. And we were, we were roommates. And we work together the same job. So because we were best friends, and we work together, and we hung out together, and we lived together, like, we'd get bored of each other, we'd have nothing to talk about. And so we had a local pub that we used to go to all the time, and I started this thing with him, and he would play along, which is we will talk about nothing. And basically the rule was that you couldn't mention any names, nouns, anything. So just want to do this really quickly. Just to try it. Yes. Okay, let's do it. Alright, so, so just don't mention any, like any person's names, or any sort of brand names or anything, really. And so the idea is like, ah, you know, Alex, what's up? Nothing. Yeah, me too. Me, too. Did you hear what happened? I did. Yeah. Crazy. And, and it was just, you know, unbelievable. I know, right?

  43:44

  Yeah, it was, it was one of the worst things I've ever heard. And I can't believe Yeah, well, hold on a second before you say that, because I was just thinking that if you can't believe it, I you know, I can't believe it either. Really? Yeah, I know. It's just, it's just so bizarre.

  44:05

  Yeah, just Yeah. Well, you don't expect that and especially from that person, you wouldn't expect that kind of thing? No, you wouldn't. Yeah, absolutely. would not. So, and see. All right. Good job, Alex. Good job. So So I would do that with my buddy. And we'd be in a pub, like in our local bar that we used to hang out at. And so we knew other people there and people would over and it was a small, tiny place. People would overhear us doing this. And we would do it sometimes for like, half an hour. And and, and somebody would overhear us eventually and say, are you talking about how Jennifer fooled around on John?

  44:44

  And we'd be like, yes, yes. It's crazy. And I know, right? I can't believe Jennifer would do that and whatever. And suddenly that like it became real. It was the weirdest thing but it was always a fun, fun activity to do.

  45:00

  To kill some time when you have nothing else to talk about. Yeah, I remember one time in elementary school, I decided I was going to play to line vocabulary.

  45:09

  And I decided my two lines were going to be, are you sure about that? And wow.

  45:16

  And people got annoyed with me if you can believe that.

  45:21

  Wow. But it's just one of those things where, like, improv makes your life more exciting. You play these games in a safe environment. And then you're tempted to do things that you've learned in improv in real life. Just to amuse yourself. It makes it makes life more interesting. Yeah, it does. It absolutely does. So I'm being mindful of our time here. Alex, this has been tons of fun. Is there anything I didn't ask you about that you would like to like to share? I'm trying to think if there's anything you did not ask me when my improv workshops are? Yeah, I did not. You're right. Tell me Tell us when those are. Yeah. So they're on Zoom. So you could do it from anywhere. And it's the second Thursday of the month. Okay, that's great. At eight o'clock Eastern time, seven, central six mountain, five Pacific, and it's reset adhd.com. Is that where people can find? Yes, information about that? Okay, good. Cuz, yeah, I do encourage everybody to give that a try. Because it is. Yeah, I mean, it is all about life is improvisation. It's just learning the skills. To make it even better. I used to have friends that would raise me, because like, Monday nights, I would go to rehearsals, and then I would do a show like once a week or twice a week sometimes. And my friends will be like, rehearsal. You don't get to what do you mean rehearsal? You don't do rehearsal for improv? I thought you're improvising everything? It's like, no, no, no. You need to meet with with the cast members, you need to go through new games, new exercises, do you things you want to try? And also just just by doing that without an audience, and the more that you do that, and the same can be said for teams and but the more that you do it, the more your your teammates or cast members learn your your best skills, like for getting back to Wayne Brady, for example. I mean, there was a reason why Wayne Brady was always singing on whose line right they knew that he was an amazing singer. And so they would play to his strengths there. Or, you know, Colin plays a really great like, well, man on a walker. And so you know, grandpa, as soon as he walks into the scene, okay, so you learn these skills. And the same can be said for like the people that you work with? Or, you know, when you do this, this kind of stuff, if you found that as well. Yeah, absolutely. It's just the finding your strengths and finding what you're good at.

  47:56

  We play a game in my improv group called ABC or alphabet. And you have to go through the alphabet. With each line first letter of your, the first word of your line has to begin with a next person B, C, D, and it's a relatively simple game. But whenever me and my improv buddy, Jacob do that scene together. Bill, the guy who leads our group likes to throw a wrench at us. And so quite often we do Shakespearean alphabet.

  48:31

  So we do the scene as as you would, but we have to make every line a Shakespearean line.

  48:40

  So, but he doesn't necessarily do that with other people in our group. But it's more fun doing that game with Jacob because Jacob is an English teacher just knows Shakespeare really well. And I love Shakespeare too. It's what's a lot of fun playing a game with him, but other people, that's maybe not their thing. I'm not saying they're bad at doing Shakespearean alphabet. In fact, I've seen some people do it really well. But it's, it's always something to challenge me and Jacob, you know, so it's, it's, it's playing to your strengths, finding what works best for you. And, and you only learn that by going to improv on Monday nights. Monday is my improv night as well. Right? So

  49:21

  just finding what works for you where your strength is. And it takes play and experiment we learn through play. Little kids learn through play. Like they learned so much just by playing, they learn social skills and other things that help them become functioning adults. They learn through play. And as adults, we tend to lose that element of play. So I just think improv is a great

  49:53

  methodology for learning. It is, it truly is and to your point

  50:00

  At the Shakespeare thing, too, I think, you know,

  50:04

  one of the key things, the key takeaways that I talked about is leading with acceptance and and as a core concept from improv. And I liked the fact that in improv, like the Shakespeare example, right, like, let's say, I'm not very savvy with my Shakespeare, but I now have been instructed to speak like a Shakespearean actor. I'm gonna have to do my best with it. I'm gonna have to go along with it. And I may not be incredible at it. But I could still make it really funny. My poor attempt, I still remember the first scene. I was in London, and I found an improv show, like a regular improv show at this pub. And so I went to the show, and at the end of the night, I asked the actors, they said, Hey, do you ever let like other people kind of do a couple scenes here and there? And one of them, like, I was talking to one, the other one looks at me, he's like, No, drunk, go back to your table.

  51:05

  And I'm like, no, no, no. And then the guy's like, Have you ever done improv before? And I said, Yeah, I trained with Second City in Toronto. And they're right away. They're like, can you come back next Saturday?

  51:15

  And so I did, and the first scene I did was like a gibberish game and I had to speak only in Icelandic. I have since been Iceland, and still couldn't attempt to do that language. But

  51:27

  But back then, the only thing I knew about Iceland was Bjork. And so the whole Converse every every time I spoke, I'd be like, Bjork. Bjork. Bjork. Bjork? Bjork? Bjork? Bjork? Bjork? Bjork? Bjork? Bjork?

  51:42

  Of course, it's like I'm sure that I offended every if any Buddy was Icelandic in the audience. Probably not. But you know what I mean, they would have been like, what that good, nice try, idiot. But it was still really funny. And it went over so well. So yeah, just kind of improvising as we were talking about, you know, even when it's not your strongest suit, as long as you're not like flying a plane or trying to do brain surgery, I think you're in good shape. Well, even within those professions of brain surgery and flying a plane, sometimes things happen that you don't expect, and you have to adjust to them.

  52:17

  So if you approach it with a yes, and mindset, which is the fundamental mindset of improv, like you accept what is and you adjust to it, and you build upon it. Yeah. And as long as you know how to fly a plane, I guess. Yeah, you have to have the fundamentals. It's not like you or I could operate on somebody's brain today. Right?

  52:37

  I could I just wouldn't go very well. Exactly. Yeah. All right, Alex, this has been so much fun. I'm definitely gonna I'll include links to everything we talked about in the show notes so folks can find you check out your books, check out your your workshops, and yeah, it's this and your coaching, of course, and your blog posts. This has been Yeah, this has been fantastic. Thanks so much for joining me. Thank you for having me. I enjoyed it too.