PODCAST. Hello, ADHD. Now What? with Dave Delaney.

Nov 5

Written By Dave

Sponsored by Inflow. Try the free ADHD traits quiz and meet Quinn, your new AI ADHD companion. Get support when you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just need to feel understood. Click here.

Today’s episode of Wise Squirrels is a little different. Instead of an interview, I’m featuring the audio from my virtual training for newly diagnosed adults with ADHD, you know, Wise Squirrels like you.

Now What? From Chaos to Clarity…

Lessons from a Lifetime of Masking to Understanding my ADHD.

Here are just some of the topics I cover:

What ADHD really looks like in adults (and why so many are missed)
The emotional rollercoaster after diagnosis — from grief to relief
Why ADHD isn’t a superpower… unless it is
Why shame, burnout, and masking show up - and how to heal
Practical strategies to support your brain, energy, and life
Your next steps - with more confidence and self-compassion
Plus, don’t forget to sign up for a free coaching session and check out Nowhere But Up.

Questions? Comments?

[00:00.000 --> 00:15.840] Welcome to Wise Squirrels, the podcast for Late Diagnosed Adults with ADHD, I'm your
[00:15.840 --> 00:18.480] host, Dave Delaney.
[00:18.480 --> 00:22.160] And this week, well, I'm trying something a little different.
[00:22.160 --> 00:29.000] A while back, I created something called Now What, which was a virtual training is
[00:29.000 --> 00:33.400] a virtual training, there's a mini ebook as well.
[00:33.400 --> 00:40.560] The purpose of it is to share my own experiences and my lessons and things that I've learned
[00:40.560 --> 00:50.240] about ADHD with my fellow Wise Squirrels, namely newly diagnosed adults with ADHD like me.
[00:50.240 --> 00:55.960] And so today, I'm going to share an audio version of that presentation.
[00:55.960 --> 01:00.720] And of course, if you want to watch the video one, just send me an email, Dave at
[01:00.720 --> 01:04.120] ysquirrels.com, and I'll send you the link.
[01:04.120 --> 01:12.760] But right now, sit back, relax, and listen, and learn about my experiences with my diagnosis,
[01:12.760 --> 01:17.200] the things I've learned, and the things that have really helped me.
[01:17.200 --> 01:20.480] And I expect they will help you too.
[01:20.480 --> 01:25.840] Before I hit play and share this with you, I wanted to let you know of a couple things.
[01:25.880 --> 01:29.960] First of all, I have sent out a invitation.
[01:29.960 --> 01:38.040] I'm hosting an event in Nashville on December 16th, which is dangerously close to the holidays.
[01:38.040 --> 01:39.840] I will be the first to admit.
[01:39.840 --> 01:46.680] However, this is an important full day training that will help you in a lot of different ways,
[01:46.680 --> 01:53.840] and certainly get ready for 2026, which I think will all agree is a little unpredictable.
[01:53.840 --> 01:57.760] Well, this week is unpredictable, but I digress.
[01:57.760 --> 02:05.720] So to check that out, visit futureforth.com slash nowhere, but up.
[02:05.720 --> 02:07.720] That's where you'll find the details.
[02:07.720 --> 02:10.280] There is an early bird offer right now.
[02:10.280 --> 02:12.880] I emailed you if you're already subscribed.
[02:12.880 --> 02:16.720] I know folks have taken advantage of that already.
[02:16.720 --> 02:22.760] So if you're already subscribed to the substack email newsletter for ysquirrels, which you
[02:22.760 --> 02:27.280] can find at ysquirrels.com, you'll already have the link.
[02:27.280 --> 02:30.240] But click that link, head on over, check it out.
[02:30.240 --> 02:35.040] And if it's something of interest, and you want to be in Nashville on December 16th, or
[02:35.040 --> 02:39.600] if you're already in the area, this is going to be something special.
[02:39.600 --> 02:46.160] And of course, I would be remiss not to mention our awesome sponsors, Inflow.
[02:46.160 --> 02:51.520] Inflow has joined us as I've mentioned previous on previous episodes, you know, Inflow is
[02:51.520 --> 02:55.480] back for the third round of sponsoring Y Squirrels.
[02:55.480 --> 03:01.520] I always encourage people who are interested in supporting the show to either become a paid
[03:01.520 --> 03:08.880] substack member for a few bucks a month, or become a paid sponsor of the show like Inflow.
[03:08.880 --> 03:13.400] And you can always reach out if you have questions about becoming a sponsor and supporting
[03:13.400 --> 03:16.240] the podcast and everything I do here.
[03:16.240 --> 03:20.040] But I do want to say thank you to the team at Inflow.
[03:20.040 --> 03:29.120] Also have a ADHD traits quiz that you can find it's free at ysquirrels.com slash Inflow.
[03:29.120 --> 03:32.320] The quiz will ask you a few questions.
[03:32.320 --> 03:38.040] And as you start going through it, it gives you videos, it gives you all these different
[03:38.040 --> 03:42.600] tips about different presentations of ADHD.
[03:42.600 --> 03:48.400] And you'll get to better understand yourself and how you show up and how your ADHD shows
[03:48.400 --> 03:56.120] up in your life so that you can better get a handle of ways to support yourself.
[03:56.120 --> 03:58.280] So there's these little mini lessons.
[03:58.280 --> 04:02.640] There's all sorts of really cool content that is geared specifically.
[04:02.640 --> 04:06.160] It's almost like a choose your own adventure if I'm dating that reference.
[04:06.160 --> 04:08.320] I hope you understand.
[04:08.320 --> 04:15.280] So visit ysquirrels.com slash Inflow now, if you sign up for Inflow, let them know you
[04:15.280 --> 04:17.920] heard about it on ysquirrels.
[04:17.920 --> 04:23.240] And we thank Inflow for their sponsorship and support of ysquirrels.
[04:23.240 --> 04:25.040] All right.
[04:25.040 --> 04:26.040] Now what?
[04:26.040 --> 04:27.040] Okay.
[04:27.040 --> 04:28.040] Well, thanks again, everybody.
[04:28.040 --> 04:32.040] I do, as I said, I do want to be respectful of your time.
[04:32.040 --> 04:34.360] So I'm going to go ahead and get started.
[04:34.360 --> 04:40.400] I do want to share, first of all, that if you are unfamiliar with y squirrels, y squirrels
[04:40.400 --> 04:44.160] is my little podcast and I'll tell you more about that in a second.
[04:44.160 --> 04:45.160] My name is Dave Delaney.
[04:45.160 --> 04:47.480] I am a keynote speaker.
[04:47.480 --> 04:53.840] I am a consultant and I am a coach and I help professionals through coaching.
[04:53.840 --> 05:00.280] I help them through communication strategies, both for their careers, but also for their
[05:00.280 --> 05:01.280] businesses as well.
[05:01.280 --> 05:06.400] So I have helped a lot of small businesses grow over the years.
[05:06.400 --> 05:10.840] As you see in the pictures there, I was a speaker for Google for about six years and
[05:10.840 --> 05:15.400] I would travel across the country and then COVID time, of course, started looking a lot
[05:15.400 --> 05:17.880] at these webcams.
[05:17.880 --> 05:22.560] And I always prefer doing this in person, of course, it's a lot better because I can
[05:22.560 --> 05:25.400] tell if my jokes bomb or not.
[05:25.400 --> 05:28.440] But I'm excited to be here for you today.
[05:28.440 --> 05:33.160] And based on the feedback from today, I will plan to do more of these.
[05:33.160 --> 05:39.240] Again, this is free and y squirrels is also really not, it's not a not for profit, but
[05:39.240 --> 05:44.320] it certainly is something that is a passion project.
[05:44.320 --> 05:50.400] And you know, I do do a lot of fair amount of coaching right now, so I got more about
[05:50.400 --> 05:51.400] that in a bit.
[05:51.400 --> 05:56.080] But I am from Toronto originally live in Nashville now.
[05:56.080 --> 06:01.200] And as I mentioned earlier, I have a little podcast called ADHD, y squirrels.
[06:01.200 --> 06:07.960] And again, the podcast is specifically for late diagnosed adults with ADHD like me.
[06:07.960 --> 06:11.960] I won't dwell and waste time here talking about my story, although I'm going to share
[06:11.960 --> 06:12.960] a bit of it.
[06:12.960 --> 06:17.560] But I was diagnosed a couple of years ago when I was 50.
[06:17.560 --> 06:22.480] And so I'm as new to this as some of you are.
[06:22.480 --> 06:27.920] But I've learned a ton so much that my ADHD coach started questioning like she said, I know
[06:27.920 --> 06:32.480] more than she does at this point, which I was pretty proud of.
[06:32.480 --> 06:33.800] I've learned a lot.
[06:33.800 --> 06:38.640] But the most important point about everything that I talk about today is this slide.
[06:38.640 --> 06:44.320] I am not a doctor, not a doctor, I don't play one on the internet.
[06:44.320 --> 06:45.880] And I'm certainly not a doctor.
[06:45.880 --> 06:49.120] So I just want to be clear about that.
[06:49.120 --> 06:55.600] Everything I say you should always check with your doctor too, but let's get into this.
[06:55.600 --> 07:00.680] So first of all, when I was diagnosed with my with ADHD, I decided, okay, you know what,
[07:00.680 --> 07:06.160] I'm going to start a, I'm going to start a website to share openly, openly what I'm,
[07:06.160 --> 07:11.000] what I'm learning both about ADHD, but also about myself.
[07:11.000 --> 07:14.960] And what is a Y squirrel is the question, right?
[07:14.960 --> 07:23.520] And of course, a Y squirrel is an adult who has been diagnosed later in life with ADHD.
[07:23.520 --> 07:28.920] And a Y squirrel, I call a Y squirrel, I call it Y squirrels because, you know, Y's is
[07:28.920 --> 07:33.600] from the wisdom that we've accrued over our lives, you know, we've, we've, we've learned
[07:33.600 --> 07:38.760] a lot, you know, we've all had ups and downs, but guess what, everybody also has ups and downs,
[07:38.760 --> 07:43.640] but we've learned a lot through our careers, through our families, through our lives.
[07:43.640 --> 07:49.040] And so we are Y's, you know, you accrue wisdom naturally from experiences and from trying
[07:49.040 --> 07:52.000] and failing and trying other things and all that stuff.
[07:52.000 --> 07:55.640] And we are great at trying different things, aren't we?
[07:55.640 --> 08:01.960] So Y's comes from the wisdom we've accrued and squirrels comes from squirrel, you know,
[08:01.960 --> 08:03.680] you know the meme, right?
[08:03.680 --> 08:10.680] If you have not seen the movie up with Doug the dog, he's sort of the source of this distracted
[08:10.680 --> 08:13.080] meme that we, we see a lot.
[08:13.080 --> 08:14.080] But let's get into this.
[08:14.080 --> 08:17.680] Let's start talking about, first of all, you know, some of the stuff that I've learned
[08:17.680 --> 08:22.960] is that not all doctors were created equally.
[08:22.960 --> 08:30.200] And so these that you see on the screen here are common things we may hear from people
[08:30.200 --> 08:35.880] in public, from social media, especially TikTok, where there's a lot of misinformation
[08:35.880 --> 08:42.320] online, having worked, you know, as a speaker for Google and having a really vested interest
[08:42.320 --> 08:48.360] in the spread of misinformation and disinformation, which is a topic for a whole other talk.
[08:48.360 --> 08:55.000] I'm quite concerned by the level of ignorance and the level of, as I said, misinformation,
[08:55.000 --> 09:00.280] you know, sometimes it's spread, you know, mistakenly, which I'll give you an example
[09:00.280 --> 09:04.000] of here in a minute and other times, you know, it could be intentional.
[09:04.000 --> 09:09.360] But what I want to point out on this slide is that not all doctors were created equally.
[09:09.360 --> 09:12.720] Most doctors are great, of course.
[09:12.720 --> 09:16.520] But if you're doctor, this is what I always tell people is that if you think you have
[09:16.520 --> 09:22.320] ADHD, when you go see your doctor, assuming you do about getting a diagnosis, you want
[09:22.320 --> 09:26.400] to ask your doctor what their thoughts are on ADHD.
[09:26.400 --> 09:30.720] And by doing this, you'll get a quick feel for what their response is, right?
[09:30.720 --> 09:34.440] They may say something like you see on the screen that it's overdiagnosed or that it's
[09:34.440 --> 09:39.560] just bad parenting or caused by trauma or it's a kid problem that they grow out of.
[09:39.560 --> 09:44.600] And you hear this one a lot, everyone has a little ADHD and I'm like, that would
[09:44.600 --> 09:46.520] otherwise be crazy.
[09:46.520 --> 09:51.120] So it's important to point out that if you ask your doctor about ADHD and your doctor
[09:51.120 --> 09:56.680] rolls his or her eyes or they say something like it doesn't exist or whatever, take my
[09:56.680 --> 10:02.040] advice here and find a new doctor because maybe they don't believe in cancer or diabetes
[10:02.040 --> 10:06.120] or anything else because ADHD is very real.
[10:06.120 --> 10:07.920] So we have problems out there.
[10:07.920 --> 10:14.240] We have problems like some medical professionals, but also online and misinformation and disinformation.
[10:14.240 --> 10:20.520] We also have elected officials who, at least in the States, who are also part of this
[10:20.520 --> 10:21.520] problem.
[10:21.520 --> 10:26.520] You know, our coach for 40 years, in the last four or five years I coach, I'd never seen
[10:26.520 --> 10:31.200] like the run on drugs our young people are being given by doctors across this country.
[10:31.200 --> 10:36.600] We have a tension deficit problem in this country, you know, a tension deficit when you
[10:36.600 --> 10:42.080] and I are growing up, our parents didn't use a drug, they used a belt and whip their butt,
[10:42.080 --> 10:43.960] you know, and told us to sit down.
[10:43.960 --> 10:50.680] Nowadays we give them Adderall in Redland, like candy across college campuses and high
[10:50.680 --> 10:51.680] school campuses.
[10:51.680 --> 10:55.280] Mr. Candy, what are we going to do about that?
[10:55.280 --> 11:04.320] Today, 15% of American kids are on Adderall and there's clearly a major problem with
[11:04.320 --> 11:10.360] over prescription, not just with our children, with our entire population.
[11:10.600 --> 11:14.200] Okay, first of all, that is complete misinformation.
[11:14.200 --> 11:19.560] The numbers of you check the CDC or at least when I check the CDC are far fewer than that.
[11:19.560 --> 11:29.000] I think it's 7% of kids with ADHD are prescribed stimulants and not necessarily Adderall.
[11:29.000 --> 11:35.160] Now that might have changed given the climate these days in the States and the lack of good
[11:35.160 --> 11:36.160] information.
[11:37.040 --> 11:42.440] I wanted to share that and that first gentleman was Tommy Tuberville, I believe, who was a football
[11:42.440 --> 11:43.440] coach.
[11:43.440 --> 11:48.360] These are elected officials, obviously, RFK juniors, you know, we in the States certainly
[11:48.360 --> 11:51.000] know who he is.
[11:51.000 --> 11:53.000] But this is the kind of stuff that we're dealing with.
[11:53.000 --> 11:59.000] So I wanted to point this out, right, that there's a lot of misinformation, there's a lot
[11:59.000 --> 12:04.120] of confusion and it's not helping that, you know, when it gets spread online.
[12:04.120 --> 12:09.880] The other key thing I wanted to mention, because this is really timely, you know, I do,
[12:09.880 --> 12:17.640] I love, you know, I love, I do get a lot from the New York Times and I also love NPR.
[12:17.640 --> 12:23.480] And both have been reporting on this story from the New York Times magazine, which has been
[12:23.480 --> 12:25.200] highly rebooted.
[12:25.200 --> 12:30.600] Certainly, I have a blog post on wisegurls.com, you can read right through exactly point
[12:30.600 --> 12:34.040] for point what is wrong about this article.
[12:34.040 --> 12:38.600] But the article is entitled, have we been thinking about ADHD wrong?
[12:38.600 --> 12:43.040] And the author, a journalist, not a medical professional, is definitely thinking about
[12:43.040 --> 12:44.360] it wrong.
[12:44.360 --> 12:49.680] So there's a lot of, you know, the New York Times typically is a pretty reliable source.
[12:49.680 --> 12:55.320] Certainly, they'll share when there's incorrect things, you know, that they've published,
[12:55.320 --> 12:59.600] but I haven't seen any retractions yet, hopefully, they will.
[12:59.600 --> 13:06.040] And a lot of the fact finding on this article, by the way, which was a deep, long article,
[13:06.040 --> 13:10.920] was Dr. Russell Barkley, who did a four-part video series basically tearing this article
[13:10.920 --> 13:17.760] apart, as he has many others like Gabor Mattay and Jordan Peterson.
[13:17.760 --> 13:24.640] And a lot of, you know, loud people online who are not ADHD experts, as if you're familiar
[13:24.640 --> 13:31.000] Dr. Russell Barkley, who is retired and still doing a video every week reviewing and reporting
[13:31.000 --> 13:32.000] on this.
[13:32.000 --> 13:34.200] And I'm happy to share this stuff with you after.
[13:34.200 --> 13:42.000] So one of the main things I've learned about ADHD is the co-morbidities that come along
[13:42.000 --> 13:43.920] with it.
[13:43.920 --> 13:47.920] Now these are things that are tough.
[13:47.920 --> 13:56.640] They make life difficult, and many of them have ADHD sort of at the root cause in a sense
[13:56.640 --> 13:57.640] of some of them.
[13:57.640 --> 14:03.440] Now, anybody can suffer from anxiety, for example, or depression or what have you, and not
[14:03.440 --> 14:05.400] have ADHD, of course.
[14:05.400 --> 14:10.160] But it is my understanding that ADHD is at the root of a lot of this stuff for people that
[14:10.160 --> 14:11.160] have ADHD.
[14:11.160 --> 14:15.680] So in other words, if you have ADHD, there's a high-likeliness that you have something
[14:15.680 --> 14:17.720] else that comes along with that.
[14:17.720 --> 14:21.080] And in my case, I have anxiety and depression.
[14:21.080 --> 14:23.080] Yeah, nice.
[14:23.080 --> 14:29.240] But some of this other stuff are, you know, these co-morbidities that I mentioned come along
[14:29.240 --> 14:34.720] with the package, and unfortunately, they can lead to difficult things.
[14:34.720 --> 14:38.320] Another part that I've learned about ADHD is something called masking.
[14:38.320 --> 14:43.440] So masking is another part that comes with ADHD.
[14:43.440 --> 14:50.880] And this is pretty fascinating because with undiagnosed, you know, when you don't know
[14:50.880 --> 14:58.200] you have ADHD, as, you know, I spent 50 years that way, I was masking unknowingly.
[14:58.200 --> 15:02.360] And some of the masking examples, there they are.
[15:02.360 --> 15:09.760] So using humor is a big one, avoiding tasks, over-prepararing, perfectionism, you know,
[15:09.760 --> 15:13.400] mimicking others, people pleasing, I'm a big people pleaser.
[15:13.400 --> 15:20.240] And it's not to say that's bad, but it is important to understand that the reason why you're
[15:20.240 --> 15:26.080] doing a lot of this stuff is to combat the ADHD that you have.
[15:26.080 --> 15:31.880] Now, if you've listened to Y-scorals, which I hope you have, my podcast, I've interviewed
[15:31.880 --> 15:36.480] a lot of subject matter experts about ADHD.
[15:36.480 --> 15:39.880] People that are reputable, people that know what they're talking about, no Russell Barkley
[15:39.880 --> 15:44.600] hasn't agreed to join me yet, but I'm still asking him from time to time, he keeps saying
[15:44.600 --> 15:45.600] I'm retired.
[15:45.600 --> 15:50.320] And I'm like, dude, you're doing a video every week, but I digress.
[15:50.320 --> 15:57.480] So coupling they do said ADHD is not a deficiency of attention, but a dysregulated attention
[15:57.480 --> 15:58.480] system.
[15:58.480 --> 16:04.240] I like Tamara Rosier, who's also a PhD and cut off there.
[16:04.240 --> 16:06.120] We have what if brains?
[16:06.120 --> 16:09.640] It's beautiful that we have a what if brain, it's lovely, it's a gift.
[16:09.640 --> 16:14.120] But like with every power comes great responsibility.
[16:14.120 --> 16:16.560] And I do recommend listening to that episode.
[16:16.560 --> 16:20.120] We had a lot of fun, a lot of laughs about stuff too.
[16:20.120 --> 16:24.360] I shared some pretty personal stories with her that are embarrassing.
[16:24.360 --> 16:30.120] ADHD is not a limitation, it's a unique way of experiencing the world.
[16:30.120 --> 16:37.920] J. Russell Ramsay, who's written a great book about several books about adult ADHD specifically.
[16:37.920 --> 16:42.040] And another quote here I wanted to share with you is people with ADHD often have huge
[16:42.040 --> 16:47.640] strengths, like creativity, passion, persistence, but they need the support to shine.
[16:47.640 --> 16:52.480] And that's Dr. Mark Burton, also a guest, and he wrote some books about meditation and
[16:52.480 --> 16:57.040] mindfulness for ADHD and also for teens.
[16:57.040 --> 17:01.320] So one of the biggest things I've learned about ADHD is guess what?
[17:01.320 --> 17:09.120] There are three presentations, but there's only one type of ADHD.
[17:09.120 --> 17:11.760] I learned this from Russell Barclay too.
[17:11.760 --> 17:14.200] There's actually one type, there's one ADHD.
[17:14.200 --> 17:20.080] Now ADHD is a bit of honest spectrum as Russell Ramsay explained to me, but there are three
[17:20.080 --> 17:24.040] main presentations of ADHD.
[17:24.040 --> 17:30.040] There's the predominantly hyperactive impulsive ADHD, hi.
[17:30.040 --> 17:34.200] There's the predominantly inattentive, which is ADHD, hi.
[17:34.200 --> 17:38.760] And then there's the combined presentation, which is ADHD, see.
[17:38.760 --> 17:44.600] And the way I like to use an example here to help you over remember and understand these
[17:44.600 --> 17:50.480] different types or excuse me presentations, I should say, are these three characters that
[17:50.480 --> 17:52.800] you may be familiar?
[17:52.800 --> 17:56.680] So obviously Bart Simpson, I was the Bart Simpson in school, right?
[17:56.680 --> 17:59.280] I was the one bouncing off the classroom walls.
[17:59.320 --> 18:01.400] I was the one the class clown.
[18:01.400 --> 18:07.200] I was the one that caused a lot of disruption, much to the dismay of my teachers.
[18:07.200 --> 18:09.680] And then there's Lisa Simpson.
[18:09.680 --> 18:15.800] Now something that happened is many women who are now being diagnosed quite a lot because
[18:15.800 --> 18:16.800] they were missed.
[18:16.800 --> 18:21.840] ADHD was always thought of as this naughty boy thing back in the day.
[18:21.840 --> 18:28.000] Meanwhile, there were plenty of girls who sat in the classroom playing with their hair,
[18:28.000 --> 18:30.800] kind of daydreamings during out of the window.
[18:30.800 --> 18:32.520] And these were the predominantly inattentive.
[18:32.520 --> 18:38.880] I should also add that both male and female or anyone can be one of these.
[18:38.880 --> 18:41.520] So a girl could be the Bart Simpson, right?
[18:41.520 --> 18:44.760] She could be the hyperactive kid in the classroom, absolutely.
[18:44.760 --> 18:49.080] As can the boy be the predominantly inattentive, right?
[18:49.080 --> 18:54.320] So it's important to point that out that there's these different presentations of ADHD.
[18:54.320 --> 19:00.360] And then part of the reason I did want to also add that the intelligence factor is important
[19:00.360 --> 19:04.720] because intelligence is not affected by ADHD.
[19:04.720 --> 19:12.080] So you can be a straight A student and do flying colors on your exams and all your grades.
[19:12.080 --> 19:15.000] It still have ADHD.
[19:15.000 --> 19:19.160] And you can also flunk a lot of stuff like I did and still have ADHD.
[19:19.160 --> 19:22.760] So ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence.
[19:22.760 --> 19:27.400] And finally here, there's the combined presentation that's Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes.
[19:27.400 --> 19:31.320] He's a bit of a daydreamer, he gets up to mischief.
[19:31.320 --> 19:37.080] And I haven't learned, first of all, whether I'm right on this or not.
[19:37.080 --> 19:44.760] But I have a hunch that we tend to lean or become a little more combined as we mature.
[19:44.760 --> 19:47.440] But I don't know this for a fact.
[19:47.440 --> 19:54.680] But I believe that, you know, for example, hyperactivity and in all forms of ADHD, you have
[19:54.680 --> 19:58.080] this like hyperfocus that tends to happen.
[19:58.080 --> 20:03.200] Again, as I said at the beginning, I'm not a doctor, I'm sharing what I've learned.
[20:03.200 --> 20:06.840] This is something a big lesson that I've learned in my journey.
[20:06.840 --> 20:10.640] And it's something that I wrote in my journal, something I recommend everybody have and
[20:10.640 --> 20:11.720] use.
[20:11.720 --> 20:18.160] And it is that overwhelm equals paralysis equals stagnation.
[20:18.160 --> 20:24.240] If you feel stuck, a lot of the times, you're stuck because you're overwhelmed.
[20:24.240 --> 20:29.120] Now I have stories and examples about this and I'm happy to share them.
[20:29.120 --> 20:35.080] But I wanted to make this point clear, overwhelm is the enemy, certainly for adults.
[20:35.080 --> 20:41.480] As you get overwhelmed, you can burn out, you can just freeze, you can abandon the important
[20:41.480 --> 20:44.600] stuff that you should be doing because you're so overwhelmed.
[20:44.600 --> 20:47.080] And sometimes just getting started is difficult.
[20:47.080 --> 20:51.200] And I'll talk more about that in a couple of minutes and give you some tips on that.
[20:51.200 --> 20:56.000] By the way, I have other resources that I'll be sharing with you throughout the presentation,
[20:56.000 --> 20:58.000] but also afterwards as well.
[20:58.480 --> 21:06.480] Okay, so another key thing I hear a lot is about the superpower.
[21:06.480 --> 21:11.760] And the question is, is ADHD a superpower?
[21:11.760 --> 21:18.760] Now I hear this a lot and even, you know, Paraselton for example has a song that she's created
[21:18.760 --> 21:22.560] about ADHD being her superpower.
[21:22.560 --> 21:29.400] And I have done a lot of deep thinking about this and I landed on something that I spoke
[21:29.400 --> 21:34.680] with my therapist about who she agreed completely with my thought.
[21:34.680 --> 21:41.560] And I'm curious to hear maybe in the messages in the chat window here what your opinion is
[21:41.560 --> 21:44.160] of whether ADHD is a superpower.
[21:44.160 --> 21:50.040] But here's what before you answer that, let me show you what I've come up with to determine
[21:50.040 --> 21:52.720] whether I think ADHD is a superpower.
[21:52.720 --> 21:57.920] And really what's the most important point here is that it depends.
[21:57.920 --> 22:00.040] It depends.
[22:00.040 --> 22:05.440] What I mean by that is this graph that I've created and it's on Y squirrels and a blog post
[22:05.440 --> 22:07.440] there as well.
[22:07.440 --> 22:13.280] And so what I have here is the perception of ADHD as a superpower versus privilege.
[22:13.280 --> 22:15.920] So this is the idea.
[22:15.920 --> 22:16.920] Take Paraselton.
[22:16.920 --> 22:19.920] I'm not picking on her, but just take her as an example.
[22:19.920 --> 22:24.000] Paraselton has built in money, built in hotel's money, right?
[22:24.000 --> 22:32.240] She is extremely wealthy and that's not to downside her own problems that she may have.
[22:32.240 --> 22:37.160] But I'm just because she has a song about it, I was thinking she's a good example, right?
[22:37.160 --> 22:45.360] So she has all the money, presumably a lot of good health, wealth, all these things that
[22:45.360 --> 22:48.800] make her life great and privileged.
[22:48.800 --> 22:53.640] And so the more privilege you have, as you see here on this graph, the more privilege
[22:53.640 --> 22:59.400] you have, the more likely you're going to think of ADHD as a superpower or something being
[22:59.400 --> 23:00.880] awesome.
[23:00.880 --> 23:06.560] My belief is that if you don't have a lot of money, if you're unemployed, if you're stressed
[23:06.560 --> 23:12.840] out about all sorts of things in your life, then your privilege might be much less.
[23:12.840 --> 23:18.080] And the lower your privilege, the less likely you think of ADHD as a superpower.
[23:18.080 --> 23:24.320] I really do believe in this graph that I created for you, and I hope it resonates with
[23:24.320 --> 23:25.320] you.
[23:25.320 --> 23:32.400] Now, something else I've learned through my journey with ADHD is the importance of medication
[23:32.400 --> 23:34.120] and therapy.
[23:34.120 --> 23:40.760] Now, this also goes with Russell Barkley and what he's talked about is that medication
[23:40.760 --> 23:42.360] is crucial.
[23:42.360 --> 23:48.000] Now obviously it's up to you to decide whether you will or will not, or will you
[23:48.000 --> 23:56.720] use medication, but there is plenty of information out there that states how safe stimulants
[23:56.720 --> 23:57.720] are.
[23:57.720 --> 24:04.240] Again, I'm not a doctor, but I would look, these days, I would look to your doctor, first
[24:04.240 --> 24:06.280] of all, of course, and ask your doctor.
[24:06.280 --> 24:13.880] I have a psychiatrist who handles my medication and I have a therapist who specializes in CBT,
[24:13.880 --> 24:17.840] which stands for cognitive behavioral therapy.
[24:17.840 --> 24:21.480] And so the psychiatrist for me handles my medication.
[24:21.480 --> 24:28.240] Unlike a lot of people who take stimulants in medication, it's not that always you have
[24:28.240 --> 24:33.560] this eureka moment and you're like, oh, the clouds have parted and everything's great.
[24:33.560 --> 24:39.800] I had a lot of trial, not so much error necessarily, but it took me a long time to get the
[24:39.800 --> 24:45.440] right prescription, the right medicine, the right medication or stimulant, but combine
[24:45.440 --> 24:51.800] that with anti-anxiety medication that I'm on and also finding the right dose.
[24:51.800 --> 24:56.200] So it's not just like, here's a pill, you're going to feel great.
[24:56.200 --> 24:58.360] That's not necessarily how it's going to go.
[24:58.360 --> 25:02.800] However online I always hear how people have, you know, they took the stimulant the first
[25:02.800 --> 25:08.000] time and the world became incredible for them.
[25:08.000 --> 25:15.000] And if that's for you, great, I'm jealous, good for you, but it's not always the case.
[25:15.000 --> 25:18.240] Obviously therapy is very important as well.
[25:18.240 --> 25:24.480] Having a trusted professional who you can share your experiences with presumably or hopefully
[25:24.480 --> 25:32.880] somebody who specializes in ADHD is wise, you can go to psychologytoday.com and find
[25:32.880 --> 25:37.840] a local therapist in your area to help with that.
[25:37.840 --> 25:43.360] One of the frustrations expressed by many adults with ADHD is the consistent inconsistency.
[25:43.360 --> 25:44.560] I know I can do it.
[25:44.560 --> 25:49.560] I've done it before, but I'm not 100% sure I'm going to be able to make myself do it when
[25:49.560 --> 25:50.720] I have to do it.
[25:50.720 --> 25:52.160] And that can be maddening.
[25:52.160 --> 25:56.480] If you know you can be a really good writer sometimes and you have another writing assignment,
[25:56.480 --> 26:01.640] but you can't draw on that past experience to be able to get started now and have confidence
[26:01.640 --> 26:05.560] that you'll be able to finish this essay or this report.
[26:05.560 --> 26:11.160] So I think adults with ADHD might be particularly sensitive to contexts.
[26:11.160 --> 26:16.560] There can be situations where somebody's a rock star, adequate support, checking in, hands
[26:16.560 --> 26:22.840] on stuff or things with clear objectives, whatever is the strong suit, but then you shake
[26:22.840 --> 26:27.320] it up a little bit or twist it around a little bit and then it's a dumpster fire of difficulties.
[26:27.320 --> 26:33.720] I love that line, a dumpster of difficulty, a dumpster fire of difficulties.
[26:33.720 --> 26:38.840] I don't know if that resonates with some of you, but I was in a mastermind for quite a
[26:38.840 --> 26:44.280] long time with two friends or three friends and they were all entrepreneurs and they basically
[26:44.280 --> 26:47.680] said, Dave, you know what to do, just do it.
[26:47.680 --> 26:53.240] And I literally wrote it down on a post-it note and stuck it on my wall above my desk
[26:53.240 --> 26:54.240] here.
[26:54.240 --> 26:56.720] And it said, you know what to do.
[26:56.720 --> 27:03.320] And it drove me crazy because when I was feeling stuck or when I was stuck, I would often
[27:03.320 --> 27:10.200] look at that note and it would drive me crazy, not knowing why.
[27:10.200 --> 27:18.080] Because I know I'm capable, I know I'm knowledgeable and experienced and yet I was feeling stuck.
[27:18.080 --> 27:23.280] So no, you're not alone if that's you as well.
[27:23.280 --> 27:27.640] With my guidance on my therapist, now one of the things about stimulants is you can stop
[27:27.640 --> 27:30.160] and start them again as you wish.
[27:30.160 --> 27:34.720] If you're on an anti-anxiety or depression medication or something else, you shouldn't
[27:34.720 --> 27:36.400] mess with that.
[27:36.400 --> 27:42.000] But again, talk to your therapist or your doctor before you do anything, but my therapist
[27:42.000 --> 27:46.960] suggested getting off the stimulants for 30 days and seeing how I do or a week, excuse
[27:46.960 --> 27:47.960] me.
[27:47.960 --> 27:52.240] I wrote a blog post about this over at Y Squirrels that you can check out.
[27:52.240 --> 27:54.520] This is exactly how it felt for me.
[27:54.520 --> 27:58.560] I didn't know whether they were working that well.
[27:58.560 --> 28:04.760] As I mentioned, I didn't have that eureka moment, but I decided let's just give a break
[28:04.760 --> 28:06.400] on the stimulants and see what happens.
[28:06.400 --> 28:07.400] So we did.
[28:07.400 --> 28:13.920] So I took a week off and during that time at the beginning, I felt like I was waiting.
[28:13.920 --> 28:15.720] This is the analogy I use.
[28:15.720 --> 28:20.920] Imagine like if you watch White Lotus, those really shawanky swimming pools at this gorgeous
[28:20.920 --> 28:24.240] resorts.
[28:24.240 --> 28:26.840] Imagine being in the middle of a resort swimming pool.
[28:26.840 --> 28:32.880] It's gorgeous, beautiful, safe, everything is wonderful and you're there treading water.
[28:32.880 --> 28:38.000] And it's relaxing and the sun's beaming down on you and things are good and you'll probably
[28:38.000 --> 28:44.280] get a cocktail afterwards, not me, I quit drinking five years ago, but I digress.
[28:44.280 --> 28:47.640] So you're waiting the water, you're treading the water.
[28:47.640 --> 28:51.280] And then what happens is your arm start to get sore.
[28:51.280 --> 28:55.560] And you're in this perfect place and yet now your arms are getting sore and your legs
[28:55.560 --> 28:56.920] are getting sore.
[28:56.920 --> 29:01.280] And now you're bobbing a little bit because you're having trouble getting the strength
[29:01.360 --> 29:02.960] to stay afloat.
[29:02.960 --> 29:09.040] And next thing you know, you're you're actually submerging underwater and now you're drowning.
[29:09.040 --> 29:14.240] And it's not like you're going to die, but you're panicked and things are crazy, things
[29:14.240 --> 29:16.160] are out of control.
[29:16.160 --> 29:19.880] That's how I felt when I took a week off stimulants.
[29:19.880 --> 29:24.680] So again, when I started on stimulants, I didn't really feel this eureka moment.
[29:24.680 --> 29:29.880] However, when I went off the stimulants, I definitely felt it.
[29:29.880 --> 29:33.000] So that's my experiences with stimulants.
[29:33.000 --> 29:37.880] And again, not a doctor as I keep saying, in case anybody's joined us a little later.
[29:37.880 --> 29:42.360] Now I have a presentation and training I do and I do this with some of my coaching
[29:42.360 --> 29:47.920] clients, something I call the root down, sometimes they do different parts of it.
[29:47.920 --> 29:52.600] But the root down is a presentation and training I do that is broken into three sections.
[29:52.600 --> 29:56.600] Know yourself, respect yourself and connect yourself.
[29:56.600 --> 30:01.040] It's about my ADHD and it's about ADHD, but it's also about much more than that.
[30:01.040 --> 30:07.000] And it and the exercises that I use and have in that can be used by anyone regardless
[30:07.000 --> 30:09.240] of their neuro type.
[30:09.240 --> 30:16.800] That said, when we don't know ourselves well enough, then it's hard to find that self
[30:16.800 --> 30:17.800] compassion.
[30:17.800 --> 30:22.840] So with self knowledge, we can start to give ourselves more compassion because we understand
[30:22.920 --> 30:25.400] what I call my operating system.
[30:25.400 --> 30:30.640] Others call it different things, they're ADHD, but understanding not just my neuro type,
[30:30.640 --> 30:36.720] but also my personality, my extroversion versus introversion or all these different traits
[30:36.720 --> 30:41.000] that I have, my humor and so on.
[30:41.000 --> 30:46.640] The more and the better that you understand yourself, the more self compassion you can
[30:46.640 --> 30:51.760] have, because you also start to learn the struggles you might have.
[30:51.760 --> 30:57.480] I can work through this with my coaching clients and I do through like a strength
[30:57.480 --> 31:03.040] assessment sometimes that can give me insights and give them insights into knowing where
[31:03.040 --> 31:05.280] their strengths really lie.
[31:05.280 --> 31:09.720] I should add by the way that personality and strength assessments are not scientific.
[31:09.720 --> 31:14.880] However, they do shine a light and help answer questions or help remind you of your
[31:14.880 --> 31:15.880] strengths.
[31:15.880 --> 31:21.320] And so again, understanding yourself, understanding your neuro type.
[31:21.320 --> 31:28.320] So if you haven't been diagnosed with ADHD and life is complicated these days, I do encourage
[31:28.320 --> 31:32.840] you to go and get a test from a doctor.
[31:32.840 --> 31:36.880] I do include a test at yscrolls.com, it's a free assessment.
[31:36.880 --> 31:41.680] But again, the best thing you can do is talk to your doctor.
[31:41.680 --> 31:47.560] Now I think and something I hear about a lot and I find this is one of the biggest dangers
[31:47.560 --> 31:56.760] that I've learned with ADHD, especially a late diagnosis, is you start falling into this
[31:56.760 --> 32:01.480] idea of what ifs or what could have beens.
[32:01.480 --> 32:07.800] And there's three sections here, the past, the present and the future.
[32:07.800 --> 32:14.640] And the problem is that if we start reflecting too much on the past, we start to make up stories
[32:14.640 --> 32:20.040] of how our lives could have been, how do we have been diagnosed earlier.
[32:20.040 --> 32:23.840] And the fact that you're here right now is incredible.
[32:23.840 --> 32:28.200] I should add that, you're taking the time to learn about this stuff from my perspective
[32:28.200 --> 32:29.960] and from what I've learned.
[32:29.960 --> 32:33.840] And who knows to you for being here?
[32:33.840 --> 32:35.440] This is probably not your first stop.
[32:35.440 --> 32:40.080] You might have learned about this from listening to my podcast, for example, or other ADHD
[32:40.080 --> 32:45.200] podcasts or joining Adda or Reading Attitude Magazine.
[32:45.200 --> 32:52.240] It doesn't really matter, but the point is that your past does not make you.
[32:52.240 --> 32:58.960] We've all had challenges certainly, but the past does not make who you are.
[32:58.960 --> 33:01.880] The future also can be challenging, right?
[33:01.880 --> 33:04.200] We don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.
[33:04.200 --> 33:05.640] We don't know what an hour from now.
[33:05.640 --> 33:08.680] I don't even know how the end of this webinar is going to go.
[33:08.680 --> 33:11.960] I hope it goes really well.
[33:11.960 --> 33:15.760] So past and future are problem areas.
[33:15.760 --> 33:17.960] And the present is where you want to be.
[33:17.960 --> 33:22.920] When we think too much of the past, this can lead to depression or depressive thoughts.
[33:22.920 --> 33:28.680] When we think too much of the future, what's waiting down the road, that can lead to anxious
[33:28.680 --> 33:30.880] feelings and anxiety.
[33:30.880 --> 33:34.320] But the point here is you want to be present.
[33:34.320 --> 33:36.920] You want to go for equanimity.
[33:36.920 --> 33:44.760] And equanimity being calmness and composure, even in really difficult situations.
[33:44.760 --> 33:48.840] Now we're all going to freak out at some point, right, or not at some point, but we all
[33:48.840 --> 33:50.080] do from time to time.
[33:50.080 --> 33:51.080] And that's okay.
[33:51.080 --> 33:52.080] That's life.
[33:52.080 --> 33:53.320] That's being human.
[33:53.320 --> 34:00.120] But what we're trying to shoot for here is equanimity and less anxiety and less depression.
[34:00.120 --> 34:05.480] Now I own my own business, future fourth, and I have the podcast and everything.
[34:06.120 --> 34:13.520] Obviously as an entrepreneur, I have to reflect on last year and the last quarter.
[34:13.520 --> 34:18.120] I have to look back at those numbers as cringy as they are sometimes.
[34:18.120 --> 34:24.400] And I also have to think about the future and plan for the future for my business.
[34:24.400 --> 34:27.920] And that does lead to anxiety sometimes.
[34:27.920 --> 34:31.440] So it's not to say you're going to live in ignorance and just never think about the
[34:31.440 --> 34:34.120] past and you're never going to think about the future.
[34:34.120 --> 34:40.600] And the point is that you really want to focus on the present, on the now.
[34:40.600 --> 34:46.880] And this is one thing that I've learned that I feel is the, you know, with medication
[34:46.880 --> 34:48.680] and with therapy.
[34:48.680 --> 34:55.560] Probably the best thing I've done for myself is a daily mindfulness and meditation practice.
[34:55.560 --> 34:58.320] Now I can talk and I will answer your questions.
[34:58.320 --> 35:00.920] I'm going to save time at the end for your questions.
[35:00.920 --> 35:05.280] I can talk a lot about meditation and mindfulness because I've learned a ton.
[35:05.280 --> 35:11.640] And if you practice meditation, I have, I just interviewed Diana Winston who runs the
[35:11.640 --> 35:19.720] mindfulness, UCLA mindfulness at the UCLA health.
[35:19.720 --> 35:21.000] She's really incredible.
[35:21.000 --> 35:22.640] Her books are great.
[35:22.640 --> 35:25.800] So I do recommend listening to that episode.
[35:25.800 --> 35:30.880] I also have an episode coming up that I don't want to tell you who the guest is yet.
[35:31.040 --> 35:36.200] But if you know about mindfulness and meditation, you're going to be very, very excited.
[35:36.200 --> 35:38.960] I'm so excited to share who it is.
[35:38.960 --> 35:40.360] That's coming soon.
[35:40.360 --> 35:45.160] But in the meantime, I want to share these two clips about this and then talk a little
[35:45.160 --> 35:50.560] bit more about the power of mindfulness and meditation because honestly, as you may
[35:50.560 --> 35:54.320] think you can't do it, I guarantee you can.
[35:54.320 --> 35:58.120] Our mind's making theories up all the time and the research does suggest that it tends
[35:58.120 --> 36:01.880] to get caught up in anxiety, provoking thoughts of past and present.
[36:01.880 --> 36:06.880] And, you know, the awful cliche of being the moment, I hate the cliches, but the reality
[36:06.880 --> 36:09.440] of it is that's where life is.
[36:09.440 --> 36:12.680] And if you're paying attention to what's going on right now, for a moment, you've stepped
[36:12.680 --> 36:14.560] out of all those anxiety, provoking stories.
[36:14.560 --> 36:16.480] So you're just breaking that loop.
[36:16.480 --> 36:19.400] So what we're trying to do, though, is we're trying to build traits that help us stay
[36:19.400 --> 36:21.640] in touch with our best intentions.
[36:21.640 --> 36:26.760] It's like, you know, if we're settled and we're seeing things clearly and we've developed
[36:26.760 --> 36:30.440] a little bit of patience, well, then we're just going to handle things differently.
[36:30.440 --> 36:33.560] And that's what we're trying to do.
[36:33.560 --> 36:38.280] People I think have a myth or misunderstanding about meditation or what it is.
[36:38.280 --> 36:40.680] And it's really just about being present.
[36:40.680 --> 36:43.320] I mean, there's lots of different forms of meditation, obviously.
[36:43.320 --> 36:46.680] And mindfulness is just one of those forms of meditation.
[36:46.680 --> 36:52.280] Mindfulness meditation, because people are more familiar with that, really is just about
[36:52.280 --> 36:58.520] being present and continuing to be present and coming back to continuing to be present.
[36:58.520 --> 37:03.840] It's not necessarily about like pushing out the thoughts or calming the body or the mind.
[37:03.840 --> 37:07.000] I think people have a misunderstanding of that as well.
[37:07.000 --> 37:08.000] Yeah.
[37:08.000 --> 37:13.440] It's more about being with things as they are in the moment, presently, without judgment
[37:13.440 --> 37:14.440] or with compassion.
[37:14.440 --> 37:15.440] Right.
[37:15.440 --> 37:19.080] Indeed, you're to say the positive than to say the negative, right?
[37:19.080 --> 37:25.040] So yeah, just continuing to come back and to recognize what's happening in the present,
[37:25.040 --> 37:30.320] not just while you're sitting or during a meditation practice, but in your daily life every
[37:30.320 --> 37:31.320] day.
[37:31.320 --> 37:35.160] We have the opportunity to just pause and just take a moment.
[37:35.160 --> 37:38.960] I was like, is this what I want to be doing right now or is this what I want to say right
[37:38.960 --> 37:45.440] now or, you know, what do I want or what do I need, you know, just taking that brief moment
[37:45.440 --> 37:53.480] and then allowing for that space and then acting out of that awareness and that compassion.
[37:53.480 --> 38:00.800] Both Mark and Dana were wonderful guests of the podcast and both inspired me a lot.
[38:00.800 --> 38:06.960] Let me get into a strategy and I'll talk, I can talk more about this as we go, but I
[38:06.960 --> 38:10.920] want to be mindful of the time, mindful.
[38:10.920 --> 38:14.800] I want to go through a strategy here that touches on what we just talked about and what they
[38:14.800 --> 38:16.640] just talked about.
[38:16.640 --> 38:22.800] This came partly from Lydia Zalaska who wrote a book about ADHD and mindfulness and meditation
[38:22.800 --> 38:24.400] and who's wonderful.
[38:24.400 --> 38:31.360] She was also a guest of the podcast and I have a copy of PDF copy of this on the blog
[38:31.360 --> 38:33.360] at wisegirls.com that you can download.
[38:33.360 --> 38:34.640] I made a PDF of this.
[38:34.640 --> 38:40.120] It's actually up, I'm looking at it right now above my desk as well.
[38:40.120 --> 38:47.360] So the point here is to think about where your attention is right now.
[38:47.360 --> 38:53.880] And so when you're feeling overwhelmed or you're feeling just stressed out, stop and pause
[38:53.880 --> 39:01.080] for a moment or even as you're doing something mundane like washing the dishes or washing
[39:01.080 --> 39:02.080] your hands.
[39:02.080 --> 39:06.400] It doesn't have to be watching something, but you get what I'm saying.
[39:06.400 --> 39:13.040] It's in any moment throughout the day, stop and pause for a moment.
[39:13.040 --> 39:21.520] And in that moment, just take a breath.
[39:21.520 --> 39:31.040] I don't know if you're doing it right now with me, try it, take a deep breath.
[39:31.040 --> 39:35.560] In the interview with Dr. Zalaska, we talked about belly breathing.
[39:35.560 --> 39:41.080] And I realized that through most of my adult life, I always hold my stomach and I do
[39:41.080 --> 39:43.080] not have six pack abs.
[39:43.080 --> 39:49.280] I know the controversy, far from it, I got a little pop belly.
[39:49.280 --> 39:52.720] And I tend to hold it in all the time, all the time.
[39:52.720 --> 39:57.880] But when you let your gut out, that's why it's great on a virtual webinar, right?
[39:57.880 --> 40:01.520] You can just let it all hang out and you take that deep breath.
[40:01.520 --> 40:04.720] Now there's different strategies and different, not strategies, but different methods of
[40:04.720 --> 40:08.520] breathing, like box breathing is a good one, belly breathing.
[40:08.520 --> 40:12.640] These are all topics that I've covered on the podcast.
[40:12.640 --> 40:19.400] But take that deep breath, getting to that O and stop, we're going to observe our thoughts.
[40:19.400 --> 40:22.440] So think about what you're thinking about.
[40:22.440 --> 40:27.320] This gets into being mindful and then proceed, right?
[40:27.320 --> 40:28.880] So then continue.
[40:28.880 --> 40:32.280] Now the other side of this is if you're feeling stuck, right?
[40:32.280 --> 40:33.840] You need to start.
[40:33.840 --> 40:38.200] And in order to do that, don't ask why you feel stuck because that's when we start to beat
[40:38.200 --> 40:40.200] ourselves up.
[40:40.200 --> 40:43.040] Don't ask yourself why.
[40:43.040 --> 40:44.040] Just note.
[40:44.040 --> 40:48.840] So you write it down on a piece of paper, three things that you could do right now.
[40:48.840 --> 40:53.200] And then pick one and start it, just do it.
[40:53.200 --> 40:59.680] And maybe it's not the thing that you need to do that's most pressing.
[40:59.680 --> 41:03.240] Maybe it's just like, I need to get through my emails.
[41:03.240 --> 41:06.680] So just take a little while and do some email.
[41:06.680 --> 41:09.000] I'll give you another strategy for that in a minute.
[41:09.000 --> 41:16.800] And for all their productivity tips that will also help you because I know they will.
[41:16.800 --> 41:24.360] Getting back, actually for time, I'll stop on the analogy or on the examples from my
[41:24.360 --> 41:26.360] life.
[41:26.360 --> 41:31.280] Let me just say this, when you stop and you pause and you focus on your breath or some
[41:31.280 --> 41:38.840] other anchor, as it's called in meditation, like a candle, you know, candle or a tree
[41:38.840 --> 41:45.040] or whatever it is, when you pause for a second and you just focus on that anchor, like
[41:45.040 --> 41:46.040] your breath.
[41:46.040 --> 41:55.600] By taking that pause, it can give your mind enough to think of adjusting your thoughts.
[41:55.600 --> 41:57.520] In psychology, it's called reframing, right?
[41:57.520 --> 41:58.520] You're reframing.
[41:58.520 --> 42:03.160] So when you're thinking something negative, like I'm stupid, why can't I do this?
[42:03.160 --> 42:07.880] You can catch yourself before you even think it as you practice meditation and you become
[42:07.880 --> 42:09.080] more mindful.
[42:09.080 --> 42:17.320] I've got a lot more to share about this, but let me get to the next tool, the next technique
[42:17.320 --> 42:21.880] that I've learned that really will help.
[42:21.880 --> 42:24.120] And this is something called body doubling.
[42:24.120 --> 42:31.960] The way body doubling works is you work, it works really well virtually.
[42:31.960 --> 42:37.640] And what you do is you work with other people on camera.
[42:37.640 --> 42:41.200] So their webcams are on, but everybody's on mute.
[42:41.200 --> 42:44.240] And you're just working together.
[42:44.240 --> 42:49.440] And I first learned about body doubling before I learned the term body doubling.
[42:49.440 --> 42:54.120] I only learned the term body doubling after being diagnosed.
[42:54.120 --> 42:59.000] But I learned about it from two author friends who were both writing their books and they
[42:59.000 --> 43:02.760] would meet throughout the week and body double.
[43:02.760 --> 43:07.000] They'd have their webcams on and they would work on their books.
[43:07.000 --> 43:12.160] And it's just this accountability of knowing somebody else is there with you.
[43:12.160 --> 43:13.160] Really does help.
[43:13.160 --> 43:15.520] I have this, you're like, what is this picture Dave?
[43:15.520 --> 43:16.520] I know.
[43:16.520 --> 43:21.160] This is what I thought body doubling was when I first heard about it.
[43:21.160 --> 43:22.160] I was like, what?
[43:22.160 --> 43:24.520] You want me to do what?
[43:24.520 --> 43:26.000] It's not this at all.
[43:26.000 --> 43:27.000] Don't panic.
[43:27.000 --> 43:31.680] Body doubling really does help you get things done.
[43:31.680 --> 43:34.320] And I've been thinking about doing some body doubling sessions.
[43:34.320 --> 43:36.840] If you're interested in this, let me know.
[43:36.840 --> 43:42.840] I may send out an invite to folks and do this moving forward.
[43:43.840 --> 43:44.840] Okay.
[43:44.840 --> 43:47.840] Another quick couple of points.
[43:47.840 --> 43:50.840] And then I'm going to start to wind this down.
[43:50.840 --> 43:53.840] Again, I'm just obsessed with helping people.
[43:53.840 --> 43:54.840] I know, I know.
[43:54.840 --> 43:56.840] I'm like mother Teresa.
[43:56.840 --> 43:58.840] No, I'm not.
[43:58.840 --> 44:00.840] But I love helping people.
[44:00.840 --> 44:01.840] And so I created this.
[44:01.840 --> 44:03.840] It's a Pomodoro timer and it's virtual.
[44:03.840 --> 44:05.840] So you can use this.
[44:05.840 --> 44:08.840] If you go to wisegirls.com slash timer.
[44:08.840 --> 44:10.840] I think that's where you'll find it.
[44:11.840 --> 44:13.840] You'll find it on the site anyway.
[44:13.840 --> 44:15.840] Or if you want a link, just let me know.
[44:15.840 --> 44:16.840] But I've created this.
[44:16.840 --> 44:19.840] And if you're not familiar with the Pomodoro timer,
[44:19.840 --> 44:24.840] it's like the old school tomato timer that maybe your parents had in the kitchen back in the day,
[44:24.840 --> 44:25.840] depending on your age.
[44:25.840 --> 44:27.840] And you wind the top.
[44:27.840 --> 44:29.840] The Pomodoro method really does help.
[44:29.840 --> 44:31.840] It's a virtual timer.
[44:31.840 --> 44:32.840] It doesn't cost anything.
[44:32.840 --> 44:33.840] Of course, none of this does.
[44:33.840 --> 44:35.840] So just go ahead and you can use that.
[44:35.840 --> 44:37.840] Use the five minutes to take a break.
[44:37.840 --> 44:38.840] Talk to your friend.
[44:38.840 --> 44:40.840] And then 20 minutes to work on stuff.
[44:40.840 --> 44:42.840] This also works with body doubling too.
[44:42.840 --> 44:48.840] The other thing you see in the video here in this little animated gift is this puppy.
[44:48.840 --> 44:51.840] And I love, love, love this.
[44:51.840 --> 44:52.840] And it's not expensive.
[44:52.840 --> 44:55.840] You can get one at wisegirls.com slash timer.
[44:55.840 --> 45:00.840] If you buy it through that link, I get a small commission that supports the podcast and what I'm doing.
[45:00.840 --> 45:02.840] But if you don't, that's okay.
[45:02.840 --> 45:03.840] I won't know.
[45:03.840 --> 45:05.840] The time timer works.
[45:05.840 --> 45:09.840] And I'm not sponsored by them, but you you set the amount of time you want to work on something.
[45:09.840 --> 45:12.840] And then it'll beep when the timer comes up.
[45:12.840 --> 45:16.840] But what's great about is let's say you're doing like an inbox zero working on your email.
[45:16.840 --> 45:19.840] Because it's on the desktop, you tend to start to look at it.
[45:19.840 --> 45:23.840] And as you fall down rabbit holes of distraction, you see that.
[45:23.840 --> 45:24.840] And you're like, oh crap.
[45:24.840 --> 45:27.840] I kind of get back to my task.
[45:27.840 --> 45:30.840] Accountability is a huge part.
[45:30.840 --> 45:36.840] And this is why I offer coaching or part of why I offer coaching.
[45:36.840 --> 45:38.840] I think accountability is key.
[45:38.840 --> 45:42.840] So coaching is product development.
[45:42.840 --> 45:44.840] And the product is you.
[45:44.840 --> 45:46.840] I have a coach.
[45:46.840 --> 45:52.840] I've used different coaches throughout my career, not just ADHD, but also entrepreneurship, also career.
[45:52.840 --> 45:56.840] For me, I'm not an ADHD coach, but I know a thing or two of that ADHD.
[45:56.840 --> 46:03.840] But I definitely can help you with your business or career or not definitely, but I can tell you if I can or can't.
[46:03.840 --> 46:05.840] And on that point,
[46:05.840 --> 46:08.840] I want to offer you a free coaching session.
[46:08.840 --> 46:14.840] To do that, just go to wisegrolls.com slash wise coaching or just coaching might take you there.
[46:14.840 --> 46:17.840] Or just scan the QR code now and sign up.
[46:17.840 --> 46:25.840] And I would love to have a chat, see if I can help you and if I can, we can talk about that more.
[46:26.840 --> 46:30.840] The most important thing I've learned through my journey.
[46:30.840 --> 46:39.840] You know, I get asked this a lot from people is what is the, you know, the main thing, like what is the thing that you've learned most, that's most important that you want people to hear.
[46:39.840 --> 46:42.840] And it's to give yourself grace.
[46:42.840 --> 46:49.840] As you learn about your ADHD, your neurotype, you need to give yourself grace.
[46:49.840 --> 46:54.840] That means understanding that you might hit a wall by noon and be out of steam.
[46:54.840 --> 46:56.840] That's okay.
[46:56.840 --> 47:01.840] You may realize that I've been much that now I feel so overwhelmed.
[47:01.840 --> 47:05.840] And it's a good thing to just give yourself some grace and understand.
[47:05.840 --> 47:12.840] And the more you understand about your neurotype, about ADHD in this case, the better it's going to be for you.
[47:12.840 --> 47:14.840] And with that everybody, I'm going to say thank you.
[47:14.840 --> 47:17.840] I'm going to open up the box now or the chat box.
[47:17.840 --> 47:22.840] I'm going to start looking at your comments and questions, but I do want to say thank you for being here.
[47:22.840 --> 47:23.840] This is all free.
[47:23.840 --> 47:30.840] It took me way longer to put together than I had planned, which is pretty common, right, with ADHD.
[47:30.840 --> 47:32.840] But it's something special.
[47:32.840 --> 47:35.840] And I wanted to create it for you.
[47:35.840 --> 47:37.840] So thank you for being here.
[47:37.840 --> 47:39.840] Let's open up the questions.
[47:39.840 --> 47:44.840] We have a few minutes left and I can go a little longer if you want to stick around.
[47:44.840 --> 47:46.840] So you can use the chat window now.
[47:46.840 --> 47:47.840] I'm going to go through.
[47:47.840 --> 47:49.840] I'm going to throw back through here.
[47:49.840 --> 47:52.840] Thanks for tuning in to Wise Squirrels.
[47:52.840 --> 47:56.840] Please make sure you follow the show so you never miss an episode.
[47:56.840 --> 47:58.840] If you enjoyed the show, leave a review.
[47:58.840 --> 48:05.840] Please and visit WiseSquirrels.com/love for bonus content, audio comments that you can leave.
[48:05.840 --> 48:11.840] Membership information, free coaching, sponsorship details, booking information and much more.
[48:11.840 --> 48:14.840] Drop by WiseSquirrels.com/love.
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[48:18.840 --> 48:20.840] Thanks again for listening.